That's All He's Done For Me
by Lunabeegood
Summary: Severus Snape gets word that someone he hasn't ever wanted to see again is in need of his help. Sickly Tobias Snape creates chaos in the Snape household as Severus, Hermione, and their children try and deal with the past and the present colliding. Severus also attempts to come to terms with a father who hurt him deeply. A Severus/Hermione romance with flashbacks to earlier days.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: I'm starting a new story and promise to finish it. I have no idea the ultimate length or my posting regularity (or irregularity as it may be). I do like to post frequently so the story is fresh but I can't promise a certain day to expect updates. I can promise that it will be a journey for this family and will contain love, flashbacks, family, friends, heartache, and a look into present day and all of Severus' 62 years. It is, as always, a Severus/Hermione pairing and one that I am quite interested in exploring a little differently. It's rated M because there will be sex and violence. If you are underage, don't read any further.**

**The title That's All He's Done For Me comes from Dostoyevsky's ****The Brother's Karamazov****. Here is the quote that applies if you are interested: **_**Do you suppose, gentlemen, that our children as they grow up and begin to reason can avoid such questions? No, they cannot, and we will not impose on them an impossible restriction. The sight of an unworthy father involuntarily suggests tormenting questions to a young creature, especially when he compares him with the excellent fathers of his companions. The conventional answer to this question is: 'He begot you, and you are his flesh and blood, and therefore you are bound to love him.' The youth involuntarily reflects: 'But did he love me when he begot me?' he asks, wondering more and more. 'Was it for my sake he begot me? He did not know me, not even my sex, at that moment, at the moment of passion, perhaps, inflamed by wine, and he has only transmitted to me a propensity to drunkenness- that's all he's done for me... Why am I bound to love him simply for begetting me when he has cared nothing for me all my life after? Oh, perhaps those questions strike you as coarse and cruel, but do not expect an impossible restraint from a young mind. 'Drive nature out of the door and it will fly in at the window'.**_

**I apologize for the crazy long author's note at the start, and if you've read any of my other work know that this is quite the exception to my author's notes (which are usually short). **

**Please let me know what you think as I love reading reviews and respond to most (if not all) of them. Reviews also encourage me to write more so more reviews=more writing. This is a very different sort of story for me as I always like to challenge myself. **

**Last bit: The characters are JK Rowlings, I make zero money from this and do it for pure enjoyment.**

**On with the show!**

* * *

Severus Snape deftly walked through his dark home knowing each obstacle by heart. The only unforeseen issue could be the luggage that was still piled up at the doorway, but he needed to get to the loo not the entry. He'd refrained, in a moment of sleepy thoughtfulness, from using the one upstairs in hopes he wouldn't pre-emptively wake anyone.

As he relieved himself he thought back on his vacation and smiled. It had been both relaxing and interesting. Visiting the ruins in Greece had been a trip he'd wanted to take for a while but the timing was essential. You needed to be a certain age to appreciate the history and you needed to be of a certain mindset to be awed by the accomplishments. Beaches had never really been his thing, but, he had found himself relaxed and enjoying both the swimming and the peacefulness on several secluded ones they had found.

Severus tucked himself back into his boxers and started to wash his hands.

All in all, he thought, it had been as close to perfect a vacation as possible. He'd had a fortnight of relaxation spent with...

"What?!" Severus snapped at the owl that was pecking on his window.

The owl hooted in reply and looked at him almost perturbed he was being kept waiting.

Severus quickly dried his hands and opened the window. The owl offered its leg and Severus, none too gently, removed the scroll from it.

He sighed before opening it. He wasn't due back at work for two days. Something pressing must have happened and they needed him in immediately. He knew the look he was going to get when he quickly dressed and left. It was a look he hadn't seen in a fortnight and one he wasn't looking forward to seeing again so soon.

He dismissed the owl and wandlessly turned on the low lights in their washroom so he could read the scroll. His eyes took a moment to adjust to the light before he could properly read.

_**Cousin, **_

_**I hope this scroll finds you well. I have attempted to reach you for the last two weeks but have not had any luck getting this owl to you. Unfortunately I am writing you about your father. He is currently in hospital in critical care and...**_

"Dad?" A voice said quietly from the other side of the door.

Severus, startled, crunched up the scroll in his hand and looked toward the voice.

He opened the door and saw the sleepy face of his eleven year old daughter looking up at him.

"I heard an owl," Miranda said by way of explanation.

"Why are you up so early love?" Severus asked as he guided the bleary-eyed child down the hall and towards the stairs.

"I thought it might be my book list," Miranda explained with a yawn.

"It'll come in a week or so," Severus explained with a small smile. She'd talked about nothing but her first year at Hogwarts most of the summer.

"Okay," Miranda said quietly as she slowly started up the stairs. "Aren't you going back to bed?"

"In a moment love," he offered as he felt the scroll still mangled in his hand.

Miranda merely nodded and trudged down the hall toward her bedroom.

Severus gazed into the dark empty hall for several moments before he looked at the scroll bunched in his hand. He idly thought that he could burn it now, before he read anything further, but knew that would not take away the issue. He needed to know what the problem was before he destroyed the bloody thing.

* * *

"So I can fly over to Walter's?" Theo asked anxiously as he shoved bacon into his mouth.

"First you can chew with your mouth closed," Hermione said as she put two eggs in his plate. "Then you can unpack and..."

"Mum!" Theo protested.

"I am not your servant," Hermione said as he placed the pan back on the stove. "We've had a great fortnight Theo, please don't start now."

"Fine," he said as he scowled over his breakfast.

"I've already unpacked," Miranda said with an air of superiority.

"Of course you have," Theo said sarcastically.

Hermione looked at her son and saw his father, in all his sneering glory, in that moment. Theo was, through and through, Severus' son. Quiet and cautious around new people, fiercely loyal to family and friends, sarcastic and intelligent, and loving, despite what he liked to project to the rest of the world. At fourteen Hermione saw what her husband once was and, in some ways still is, a boy looking to please, but not wanting others to know it. He even looked like Severus; tall and lanky, dark hair and eyes with striking features he despised. She thought he was beautiful, like his dad.

"Good morning," Severus said as he shuffled into the kitchen and, coming up behind Hermione, placed one hand on her hip and kissed her cheek lazily, the front of his body leaning into her back.

"This is a rarity," she smiled. "You sleeping beyond all of us."

"He didn't," Miranda explained as Hermione felt Severus tense behind her. "He got an owl early this morning. I thought it was my book list, but dad said it'd be another week or so."

"An owl?" Hermione asked with a raised eyebrow as she turned slightly to see him. "They know you are still technically on vacation until Monday, don't they?"

"Yes," he said softly. "It was...something else."

"What?" Hermione asked as she sensed his hesitancy.

"Later," he said softly into her ear.

She looked at his face carefully and then leaned forward and placed an egg on Miranda's plate breaking their contact and showing him she was not pleased with the secrecy. They had enough secrets in their marriage; they didn't need another.

* * *

"Theo's gone to Walter's on his broom and Miranda is outside reading in the garden, are you going to tell me about the owl or do I have to guess?" Hermione asked as she walked into the study where he was looking at some papers.

"Hermione, I would like to never tell you what was in the owl," he grumbled as he read a paper carefully.

"Severus, please," she said as she flopped into a chair opposite the desk. "It doesn't involve work?"

"No, it..." he started and then sighed and looked at her.

The look of confusion on his face scared her a little. He husband, in the 19 years they had been together (fourteen married), had always been, or at least projected, a certain amount of sureness. Confusion was rare with Severus and she could recall with great clarity the other times she had seen that look on his face. It made her nervous.

Severus leaned forward slightly and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

"Severus, please," she said quietly.

"Read it," he said as he pushed a scroll across the table and toward her.

Hermione carefully picked up the scroll and read.

_**Cousin, **_

_**I hope this scroll finds you well. I have attempted to reach you for the last two weeks but have not had any luck getting this owl to you. Unfortunately, I am writing you about your father. He is currently in hospital in critical care and may not be around much longer. His liver has failed him and...**_

"You're father?" Hermione gasped.

Severus closed his eyes and nodded.

"Is this from..." Hermione reached in her mind for his cousin's name, the one that was the squib.

"Terry." Severus supplied.

Hermione nodded, knowing that was the name she had been searching out.

"Keep reading," Severus said, still not opening his eyes.

_**His liver has failed him and, because of his history and age, he's not a candidate for transplant. The hospital contacted me because Tobias said I was his next of kin. I know it has been a long time but...**_

Hermione scoffed at the words before her. Tobias Snape had walked out on his 17 year old son the day of his mother's funeral and never looked back. Forty-five years was not a long time, it was a lifetime.

_**I know it has been a long time but I cannot be responsible for your father as well. Bridget's mother is living with us and requires a great deal of care. I cannot visit your father in the hospital as often as is needed, nor do I feel it is my place to make decisions about his health in such a critical circumstance, when you are his son. **_

_**I urge you to contact the hospital immediately or his case will be handled by social services. I know this is not news you want Severus, and I can enlighten you on some past history if you would like to meet. The hospital is St Pancras and he's in ward sixteen, room 3. **_

_**You can send a return owl to Matilda who will get word to me. I'm sorry to have to tell you this news Severus.**_

_**Terry Snape**_

"Your father, after all these years..." Hermione mused as she rolled up the scroll.

"He can't even just bloody die like a normal person," Severus said flatly.

"Severus, we need to..."

"We don't need to do anything," Severus supplied. "I was looking into the legalities and..."

"He's your father," Hermione said softly.

"He's a bastard," Severus said as he looked through the papers before him.

"He's dying," Hermione said as she got up from her chair.

"Not quick enough, apparently," Severus said as he went to hand her a paper and, noticing her walking toward him shook his head. "I'm not getting involved, so you can stop with that look."

"He's an old man Severus, probably only has a short time," Hermione said as she sat on the edge of the desk uncaring of the papers beneath her. "Don't you think it would be good to..."

"Never see him again? Yes. I think that would be wonderful," Severus said as he dropped the paper and turned to look at her.

"I think you need closure and this is an opportunity," Hermione said as she placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't need anything from him, I haven't for most of my life," Severus said softly as he looked down at his lap.

Hermione reached out and lifted his chin so he could see her. She held his cheek in her hand and looked at him carefully. His eyes were as she had always known them; deep and filled with more than anyone ever seemed to see.

She loved him with all her heart and wanted to convey to him all the reasons he needed to do this, but there weren't words. How are their words in a situation such as this? How can she tell him that the man who treated him atrociously deserved something from him? That Severus needed this closure from the history he shared with his father? A moment of...something. Something indefinable that she wished would come from this.

When, after a long time, he turned his face and softly kissed the palm of her hand, she knew he'd be contacting the hospital.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Thank you for all those who have decided to follow this story. I appreciate your early commitment to my writing! **

**If any of you were following _Future Imperfect_ you know that I fell in love with those characters and I have discovered that I can't quite leave them. I'm going to be writing a few snapshots that are supplemental to the story and posting them as chapters after the epilogue in the next little bit.**

**This chapter is a short one, but necessary to get things rolling. Please let me know what you think!**

* * *

"Mr Snape, I have good news," the nurse said as she checked his IV drip. "Your family has contacted the hospital about your care."

Tobias Snape sneered at the woman's cheery expression and broke into a coughing fit.

"Oh my," she said as she raised up his bed a little more and handed him a drink of water. "Just relax and take a small sip."

"I can bloody..." Tobias started then stopped. 'More bees with honey' he thought.

"Thank you dear," he corrected with an attempt at a smile.

The nurse smiled down at him and then looked at his chart.

"You haven't had many fluids," she noted absently.

"Terry's coming by?" Tobias asked, ignoring her comment.

"Terry?" The nurse looked at him bewildered. "No, uh..."

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a crumpled pad of paper and started to flip through the pages. Tobias grew anxious with what he viewed as her ineptitude.

"Oh, that can't be right," she said as she flipped a few pages more.

Terry sighed heavily, waiting for her to figure out her bloody note-taking skills.

"Maybe Steven?" She asked as she looked up at him, confused by what she read.

"Steven?" Tobias snapped. "I don't have a bloody Steven in my family."

"It says Severus, but that's a name I've never heard before. I must have written it incorrectly," she said apologetically.

"Severus?" Tobias asked surprised.

"That's what I have, is it correct?" She asked.

"Unfortunately it is," he groaned as he pushed himself down into his covers a little more and folded his arms across his chest.

"Well good!" She said oblivious to his mood change. "He called and asked to speak with your doctors about your care."

"Is he coming in?" Tobias asked gruffly.

"He...he didn't indicate..." she stammered.

"Good!" He huffed rather loudly as he pushed himself even further down the bed.

"Is he your son?" The nurse asked tentatively.

"Unfortunately, for us both," Tobias grumbled.

His eyes flicked to the nurse's confused expression.

"I'm tired," he said as he rolled away from her.

"Uh, sure, I'll just get the lights," she said softly.

He heard her footfalls get farther and father away, the lights went off and the door shut. Tobias Snape was left alone with only the knowledge that Severus was now bloody involved; this brought him no comfort.

* * *

Hermione walked into their bedroom just as Severus was hanging up the phone.

"Well?"

"The doctor will only agree to speak to me in person," Severus said as his eyes met hers.

"So are you going in today?" Hermione asked as she sat next to him on their bed and placed a hand on his thigh.

"I don't know if I should go in," Severus said as he looked at her supportive hand on him. "Calling the hospital to inquire was one thing but..."

"I can go with you," she said softly.

"I need to think about this," he said softly as he placed a warm hand over hers. "Just calling took..."

"I know," she sighed as she tilted her head and rested it on his shoulder. "But Terry thinks your dealing with it."

Severus sighed loudly.

"I could go on my own and just call you after I've spoken with the doctor," Hermione offered.

"And I love you for that," he said with a chuckle.

She giggled with him and just sat and waited for him to come to some sort of decision.

"Will you come with me?" He asked, the vulnerability in his voice apparent.

"Of course, love," she said as she looked up at him. "Anything."

"Could you see if your parents could bring supper by for the kids? I don't know how long..."

"Theo will be displeased but, yes, I'll call them," Hermione said as she kissed the edge of his jaw.

"He can't boil a bloody egg without almost setting the house on fire," Severus said with a smirk. "When he is no longer a danger to himself or his sister he can be indignant about being minded."

Hermione laughed at his comment. She knew this afternoon would be difficult for him, even if they weren't seeing Tobias. Just being in the same building as his father was going to be upsetting.

"We can go for dinner afterwards, just the two of us so you can decompress, okay?" Hermione asked as she reached across him for the telephone.

He patted her hand in response. She knew him better then anyone else and, for that, he was eternally grateful.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Here's the latest chapter. I have a flashback in it (you know how much I love those!) so please note the time shift indicated. We start in the present, go back to the past, and then finish in the present. I hope it's not too confusing for everyone. Anyways, let me know what you think! **

* * *

"I wish I had better news Mr Snape," Dr Arlington said as he closed the folder in front of him.

Severus and Hermione were sitting in chairs that may date back fifty years in a cramped office piled high with books and papers. They had waited in equally uncomfortable seats for almost an hour before Dr Arlington was available to meet them. Their brief time in the office had not proved to be worth the wait. Severus absently wondered why they were even bothering, he didn't really care what happened to Tobias but Hermione had insisted they do this for Terry if no one else.

"He's an old man who abused alcohol my entire life," Severus said "How long?"

"Patients with fulminant hepatic failure have a 50 to 80 percent mortality rate without a liver transplant," he said with a sigh as his eyes flicked to a clock to check the time. "Your father's liver damage is...extensive. Combined with his age, the issues he's had with illegal drugs throughout his life...well, let's just say he's not a candidate for a transplant."

"I didn't expect he would be," Severus concurred. "An estimate of time?"

"A month, maybe two," Dr Arlington said as he folded his hands over Tobias' file. "I'd suggest taking him home."

"No, that is not an option," Severus interjected quickly.

"Well the hospital is going to want to move him to a palliative care facility," Dr Arlington said as he looked at Severus. "Now that you are involved social services has closed his file so decisions about his care are now in your hands."

Severus sighed heavily and looked at Hermione.

"Is there a facility that is good for...for cirrhosis of the liver?" Hermione asked.

"They are about end of life care Mrs Snape, they deal with everything," Dr Arlington said nicely.

Silence fell over the room.

"Look, my dad was a drinker as well and...and when it came time for him to go it was still nice to have some time with him despite the trouble he caused for me and..."

"Did he beat you within an inch of your life on a regular basis? Whore about town with prostitutes while you and your mother starved?!" Severus snapped as he stood from his seat. "Did he lock you in the cellar when you were eight for days without food and the only sound you could hear was your mother being beaten and raped?"

"Mr Snape, I..." Dr Arlington stammered as his face turned red and he too stood. "I had no..."

"My father was more then an alcoholic, doctor," Severus said with venom. "So you can excuse me if I don't give two shits where he ends up."

"Severus," Hermione said as she placed a hand on his upper arm.

He flinched away from her.

"Send him to the first bloody bed that's available," Severus said as he took his coat.

"You'll need to sign..." Dr Arlington said, obviously distraught by the lightning quick anger that was displayed.

Severus leaned over the quickly signed the papers that Dr Arlington had laid out before them upon entry into his office. Without another word he left the office

"Thank you for your time Dr Arlington," Hermione said apologetically.

"Mrs. Snape," Dr Arlington nodded before he collected the papers on the table.

Hermione exited the office just in time to see her husband round a corner towards the elevators.

She quickly walked after him avoiding nurses, doctors and patients that were maneuvering down the hallway.

When she got to the elevator corridor he was nowhere to be found. Scanning the hallway she spotted a stairwell and quickly burst into it almost tripping over Severus as she did.

"Merlin!" She yelled as she started to fall. Severus lunged forward and caught her before she did.

When she was upright again she took looked at Severus. He was sweating profusely and gasping for breath against the wall, his whole body appeared to be shaking.

"Oh love," she said as she leaned into his frame and took his face in both her hands.

"Don't," he said quietly as a lone tear fell down his cheek.

She wiped his hair from his eyes and with her open palm banished the tear from his cheek. She kissed his forehead and rubbed her hands up and down his arms in a comforting and warming gesture.

His breathing started to even out after a few minutes and the shaking slowed. She stopped rubbing his arms and instead pressed her entire body against his and wrapped her arms tightly around his waist.

"You're going to be fine," she said softly, like when spoke to their distraught children when they were younger. "Everything is going to be fine."

She felt him shudder in her arms and almost wilt against her. It was a long while before they left the stairwell and even longer before he even spoke.

* * *

"They had that mustard you like," Hermione said as she handed him a steaming hotdog.

"Not exactly a nice dinner out," Severus quipped as he took it from her.

"I don't need a nice dinner out," Hermione said as she sat next to him on the park bench and placed a can of Coke between them.

"I'm sorry," Severus said quietly as he looked into her eyes.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Hermione said as she smiled at him and then took a bite of her own hotdog.

"I thought I could contain myself and play the role of the concerned son for just..."

"But that's not you," Hermione said, her mouth half full of food. "He was a horrible father, a horrible person."

"He was, probably still is," Severus said resigned. "I haven't thought about him, not really, in at least ten years."

"You haven't spoken to me about him since Theo was born," Hermione noted.

Severus took a bite of his hotdog and they sat silently for a long time.

"I was scared shitless I'd be like him," Severus said. "It still scares me, sometimes."

"Severus, you could never be like him," Hermione said with a chuckle.

"I wasn't so different from him at certain points in my life," Severus noted. "Tobias would have made a sadistic Death Eater."

"Probably," Hermione noted as she put down her hotdog and reached for the can of Coke. "But being non-magical though, there would have been an issue."

"True," Severus noted.

"You're not that man anymore Severus," Hermione said before she took a sip of Coke. "He may have fucked you up, but you straightened yourself out."

"Yes, but I still fucked up," Severus noted as he met her eyes.

* * *

**15 Years Ago**

"Say something," Hermione said softly as she watched him absorb the information.

He looked up at her and then back down at the counter in front of him.

"You're sure?" Severus asked quietly.

"I took two muggle tests and did the charm," Hermione said. "I think I'm two months along but I can't be sure until I see the medwitch."

"Is that something you want to do?" He asked as she watched him start to rub his forehead.

"What do you mean is that something I want to do?" Hermione asked, confused.

Severus looked up at her and then back down at the counter saying nothing.

"Severus?" She asked, worried.

"You think it was the tomb?" He asked showing no emotion.

"It must have been," Hermione said honestly. "I've been taking the potion for years now; you brew it yourself. I think the properties of the tomb cancelled all magic, even that which is ingested. Then you unexpectedly showed up that night and..."

He sighed heavily and braced both hands against the counter.

"I know this wasn't something we expected..." Hermione started as she took a step closer to him. "You don't have to...you only have to be as involved as you want."

His eyes looked up to meet hers and held her gaze.

"Severus, you've made it apparent how you feel about family, children, marriage..." she started. "I can...if I need to, I can do this without you."

"What if you...I mean, there is an alternative," he stammered as he looked back at the counter.

It seemed like all the air had been sucked out of the room. Hermione loved this infuriating man and had hoped, somehow, that he would be, if not happy, at least...accepting.

"I'll be okay on my own Severus," she said in a choked voice. "I just...I just thought you should know."

She turned quickly on her heel and walked out of his flat so he wouldn't see the tears that had started to fall down her face. She wasn't surprised when he didn't come after her.

* * *

"We better get home," Severus said as he stood and took her hotdog remnants from her hand. "There's a storm coming in and it may affect Apparition."

Hermione looked up towards the clouds and nodded in agreement as Severus walked toward the garbage.

"I promised Theo I'd pick him up one of those chocolate bars he likes so much," Severus said as he helped her to her feet. "Sort of restitution for being minded at age fourteen."

Hermione smiled, stood and patted his chest. "You're a good dad Severus Snape."

Severus looked at her soft eyes, leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Here's the latest chapter and before you read I'm reminding everyone that this is for mature audiences. If you are not of age, please go read something else! There is another revealing flashback in this one so please note the time change. We are in present, then past, then back to present. Also, the bold bits are things Severus is hearing in his head. I hope that explains everything. **

**Reviews are wonderful! Please let me know what you think!**

* * *

"Oh gods," Hermione hitched as Severus worked her over with his tongue.

He circled her opening and pushed his tongue inside her as he felt the vibration of her hands smacking against their bed to grab at the sheets.

His nose then nuzzled her clit as his hands massaged her open thighs. He loved seeing his wife come undone under his ministrations. Their sex life might not have been as robust as it was in their earlier days but they still brought each other a great deal of pleasure.

He felt her hands leave the bed and grab at his arms trying to pull him up towards her. She had not orgasmed yet, something that was becoming a more frequent occurrence it seemed, but she seemed to want him inside her instead.

He didn't give into her attempt to raise his body up and continued, instead, with his goal of trying to bring her to completion. Once he was on top of her it was unlikely to happen and, for some reason, Severus had made her orgasm his mission this morning.

"Severus," she mumbled as he watched her thighs quake. She was close.

He lapped at her juices with a flat tongue and suddenly she tensed then released with a moan that was music to his ears. Severus couldn't help but smile to himself; goal achieved.

As she rocked on the bed before him, riding out the last of her orgasm, he pulled himself up on top of her and gently eased his turgid member inside of her.

He pumped in an out of her slowly and with care, knowing her level of sensitivity would be high and not wanting to put a halt to the orgasmic pleasure she was experiencing.

He'd surprised her this morning by waking her up between her legs, something that was a rarity on a work day. Today, he had been inspired by her short chocolate brown nightie hitched up to her waist as she slept.

As she seemed to come back to herself, she reached up and pulled him down into a sloppy, yet passionate, kiss.

"Thank you," she mumbled against his lips.

He smiled a wicked grin down at her as he continued to pump slowly and languidly inside of her.

She smiled back and pulled her legs up around his waist giving him a better angle and she more leverage.

She watched his taut body rock above her, his hips in a rhythmic motion as the lean muscles on his arms flexed with each movement. At sixty-two Severus Snape was still an incredibly sexy man.

"Go for it," she said with a smile.

He paused for a moment then started to quickly push harder and harder into her, pounding against her body as his balls smacked against her ass.

**'Their just bitches to be used' Tobias Snapes voice suddenly rang out in his head.**

Severus attempted to ignore it and continued to pound into his wife, chasing his own release.

**'They're only good for their holes, cleaning, and cooking' Tobias Snapes voice rang through his thoughts.**

"Fuck!" Severus gasped as he shook his head in the negative, trying to banish the memories that seemed to want to come forth.

Hermione looked up at him confused. His face was contorting and he seemed to be upset.

Severus continued to seek his release.

**'Women are throw away creatures, remember that Severus' Tobias' voice rang out again.**

"No," Severus panted as he tried to focus on the present and not the past.

**'Fuck 'em hard!' the voice of Tobias Snape suddenly said in his head**.

"Severus?" Hermione asked worried.

"No," Severus gasped as he suddenly pulled out of his wife and flopped on his back beside her panting.

"Severus?" Hermione asked again, confused as she sat up a little and looked at her husband.

He had his hands over his eyes and, what she could see of his face was tense and upset.

"Love?" She asked as she placed a hand on his heaving chest and waited, worriedly, for a response.

When no response came she scooted closer to his body.

"Are you...?" She asked as she placed her hand over his heart and felt it madly banging against his chest. She breathed a sigh of relief that he wasn't having a heart attack or something.

"Severus..." She began as she pulled one of his hands away from his face. "What just happened?"

He looked at her briefly then closed his eyes. He couldn't tell her the twisted things his father's voice had said in his head; the memories that had come forth while they were most intimate. He couldn't do that to her; upset her that way. It had been a long time since he'd had to banish these types of thoughts.

"Work," he said softly. "Work got in my head."

She sighed next to him, deflated, and put her head on the pillow beside his. Glancing quickly down at his deflated penis she sighed again.

"You need to get a different job," she said softly.

He said nothing in return. They lay beside each other for a long time, saying nothing.

* * *

**19 Years Ago**

"You bastard! You could have got us killed!" Hermione snapped at Severus as they returned to the hotel suite they were sharing.

"It was a risk, experience told me, was worthy to take," Severus said sharply as he threw his coat down on the sofa.

"When will you stop throwing that in my face?!" Hermione snapped as she threw down her satchel and kicked off her shoes.

"Maybe when you actually get some experience!" He snapped back.

"I've been with the department for almost a year, and before that..."

"You were a child!" He yelled back as he cast a silencio over the suite. They didn't need the hotel management coming up here.

"I was hardly ever a child! With the war..."

"Don't tell me about the bloody war," he said menacingly.

"I meant..." Hermione faltered.

"When you have been a spy for most of your life, then worked for the Department of Mysteries as long as I have..." Severus started.

"You've only worked for it four years longer then I have," Hermione said as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"That argument just proves how juvenile your thinking still is," Severus said as he turned from her to walk towards his room. He hated sharing suites but with budget cutbacks, it had become a necessary evil of foreign missions. At least if he could get to his room he could be alone.

"Just what the hell does that mean?!" Hermione asked. "I can't believe I asked for the last three missions with you thinking that...thinking that I might learn something, that we might become friends..."

"This is work, not friendship," he said clearly as he faltered in his path. "You and I will never be friends, Miss Granger."

"Not as long as you see me as an annoying student you can torture in your classroom!" Hermione snapped as she walked toward his tense back. She knew she was playing with fire arguing with Severus Snape, but couldn't help but get everything off her chest. "I'm not a bloody teenager anymore!"

"Don't you think I know that?!" He snapped as he swiveled to face her. "Have you not seen enough, risked enough, in the last year to be convinced that this is not the field for you?"

"What?" She asked, perplexed.

"I didn't risk my bloody hide for years saving you and your compatriots to have you fucking killed on a Department of Mysteries mission!" Severus snapped.

"This is my job!" Hermione said as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Who else could read the Armenian runes and..."

"It shouldn't be!" He snapped back as he towered over her. "You should find a boring bloke, have children, and work in an office...bake fucking pies!"

"Of all the sexist..." Hermione started then stopped when she felt the heat roll off his body in waves.

He was towering above her, leaning into her, breathing on her. The musky scent that was all him wafted into her nostrils and her face coloured. Her nether regions started to tingle; she had never been more turned on in her entire life. She leaned forward and grabbed his shoulder to steady herself. Her back arched and her breasts pressed against him.

He nodded his head infinitesimally in the negative. She ignored his reproach and leaned into him a little more. Before she knew it his lips were on her, hungry and insistent. She met his vigor with equal passion and kissed him back with all her might.

In her head she knew this was against department protocol, that he was a complicated man, an older man, that she was on the rebound from Ron, that she was sexually frustrated, that...

Then his lips left her mouth and stroked her earlobe and she was lost.

"I'm not..." he started but she turned to him and quickly placed a few fingers over his mouth.

"I don't care," she said softly.

Something seemed to soften in his eyes suddenly, then, the look passed. He sucked one of her fingers into his mouth and her eyes rolled back in her head.

He fucked her hard on the floor of their suite. She felt passion ignite that night that had long been dead, that may never have been there before. Little was spoken between them that night besides sighs and grunts and neither of their thoughts left the moment they were in. It was...beyond words what they both felt and experienced that night.

And, in the morning, Hermione woke on the floor with his coat under her head and a blanket on top of her. Severus Snape was gone and she was alone in Armenia with no explanation of where to go from there.

* * *

"You better get a shower," Hermione said as she rose up on a elbow and tugged her chocolate brown nightie down a little to cover herself.

"It'll be a late night," he sighed. "It always is, the first day back."

"I'll feed the kids and wait for you for dinner," Hermione said as she lifted her legs over the side of the bed.

Severus felt bad about his inability to perform. He felt worse about lying to his wife. He shifted closer to her and wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her back.

"I love you," he said in a muffled voice against her. He hoped, somehow, that those words would help the situation.

"I love you too," she said quietly before she reached back and patted him.

He released her and she rose to see to the children while he flopped on his back and cursed his father for invading his life again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: Here's the latest chapter where we take baby steps into Severus' current job, his early relationship with Hermione and his life growing up. He's on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster and the ride is just beginning. Thank you so much for your interest in this story-I'm enjoying writing this. As always, reviews and comments are much appreciated. Please let me know what you think!**

* * *

"Mr Snape there's a call for you on the muggle telephone," Nanette said as she walked into his office carrying the device. "It's a hospital."

Severus sighed and put down his quill. He took the phone from the department's secretary Nanette, and thanked her. For a good minute he stared at the telephone and considered his options.

'It's probably just the hospital calling to inform me of the transfer,' he thought. 'just protocol.'

After his dysfunctional sexual encounter with his wife this morning, he'd managed to pull it together at the office. Tobias had not crossed his thoughts in seven hours.

"This is Mr Snape," Severus said formally into the phone when he released the 'talk' button.

"Mr Snape this is Winston Burgess," the man on the other end of the line informed him. "I have the discharge papers for your father all ready, and I need you to come in and consent to..."

"I've already signed the papers," Severus said as he massaged his temple. "Dr Arlington has them."

"I'm sorry..." the man on the other line paused. "Can you hold the line a moment?"

Before Severus could answer, classical music started to play in his ear. He placed the phone on 'speaker' and put it on the edge of his desk.

Picking up his quill he continued filling out his out-of-country request. New evidence in a case he was working on had prompted him to make plans to visit Germany as soon as possible.

The wheels turned slow at the Ministry, so it would probably be September before he was permitted to leave. Hermione would at least be happy he wasn't missing any of the children's school holidays.

"Mr Snape?" A voice called again.

"Yes, yes, I'm here," Severus said as he grasped the phone.

"I apologize, the paperwork is here, but Dr Arlington forgot one form," Mr Burgess explained. "Is there any way you can nip by the hospital to sign it today? Your father has a chance to get a bed in The Brae facility but we must move on it quickly."

"I'm...it's rather a busy day," Severus said as he dropped his quill. "Can't this wait until..."

"Unfortunately, if your father isn't discharged today you will start to be billed for his care until a new facility..."

"I just found out he was there, two days ago!" Severus snapped into the phone.

"Unfortunately, hospital policy is such that..."

"I'll be there in an hour," Severus said, defeated. There was no way in hell he was taking money away from his family to pay for Tobias' care.

"Good, I'll see you then," Mr Burgess said before Severus disconnected the line and slammed down the telephone.

"Is it Hermione's parents?" Nanette asked, as she rushed in the door to his office.

"No, they're fine," Severus said as he handed her back the phone.

"Then who...?" Nanette started then stopped when she saw a look pass over his face. This was obviously something her boss did not wish to discuss.

She scurried from his office without a backward glance.

Severus sighed and looked at his watch. He'd have just enough time to finish this paperwork and get to the hospital. There'd be no point coming back to work by then; the huge stack of paperwork sitting on his desk would have to wait until tomorrow. Being the Deputy Manager of the Department of Mysteries, really was a crap job sometimes.

* * *

**19 Years Ago**

"How was Armenia?" Bernadette asked Hermione as she walked into the office.

"Good, it was...we got a lot accomplished," Hermione said nervously as she eyed Severus as his desk a few feet away

"Was he that bad?" Bernadette whispered as she leaned her hip on Hermione's desk.

"What?" Hermione asked distractedly as she saw Severus' quill stop moving; he was listening to their conversation. "No, no."

"Did he at least take you out for a drink?" Bernadette asked.

"What?" Hermione asked as her face reddened.

"I hope you didn't bloody work the entire time!" Bernadette said with a laugh, not noticing Hermione's discomfort. "That's the best part of foreign missions; trying their alcohol."

Hermione laughed at her joke and nervously fondled the tassel on her purse. "There wasn't any time for much else, besides work."

She noted that Severus' quill began to write again, and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Too bad," Bernadette said before she turned to walk away. "Farah's for lunch?"

"Sure," Hermione smiled.

"See you then," Bernadette called over her shoulder.

Hermione eyed Severus at the other desk. He was completely composed and seemed to be diligently working on their report. She turned to her desk and took out her notes. She hadn't seen him or heard from him since that night in Armenia. She had followed up the next day with the Armenian interpreter, taken a few more notes, and left for home. Their work there was basically done, but she was surprised he had just left. It seemed rather...rude? unprofessional? bastard-like?

"I've started our report," he said over her shoulder and, caught off guard, she jumped and dropped her purse.

"Severus, I...you...I didn't realize you were there," she said as her face flushed and she reached down to pick up the purse that had fallen off her lap.

"Obviously," he said without moving an inch.

"The report?" She asked as she threw a lip gloss into her bag and tried to compose herself. She'd had two one night stands in her entire life. Blessedly the first guy was someone she'd never seen again. Unfortunately, Severus was the second one and his desk was only a few feet from hers.

"The ridiculous paperwork we must file after spending Ministry galleons to investigate. Surely you..."

"Fine, I get it, thanks," she sighed as she took the piece of parchment from his hand.

'Apparently fucking me senseless does not alter your overall disposition,' Hermione thought as she leaned over to read what he had written so far.

"You've forgotten the history of the Runes from that region and..."

"That is your area of expertise," he said dismissively.

"Fine," she grumbled before she continued to read.

"What about the explosion?" Hermione asked with a raised eyebrow as she held out the parchment.

"An irrelevant and unnecessary detail," Severus said as he plucked the paper from her hand.

"Unnecessary?! Irrelevant?! You almost had us killed?!" She snapped as she turned to face him more fully.

"Are we not here?" He asked as he folded his arms across his chest.

"Yes, but..."

"An unnecessary and irrelevant detail," he said dismissively.

"If that is an unnecessary and irrelevant detail, I'd like to know what else you file under that category," she scoffed.

He shifted uncomfortably before her. She suddenly realized that he was thinking about their encounter; that it was an unnecessary and irrelevant detail of the mission as well. The realization caused her breath to hitch. She swallowed hard.

"Fine, have it your way!" She snapped as she stood from her seat and forced him to take a step back. "You file away whatever events you like under 'unnecessary and irrelevant details', I'll add the history and the interpretation and then we can file the bloody report and be done with each other!"

Hermione didn't wait for his response before she marched away. It hurt too much to be near him.

* * *

Severus Snape stood in the corner of Tobia's room and watched him. He was cloaked in an invisibility spell so Tobias had no idea he was there; the only thought that brought him comfort at the moment.

The paperwork was signed, Tobias would be transferred to a hospice tomorrow. But, as Severus walked down the corridor he was filled with this urge, this need to see the man who had tormented him throughout his early life. He would never admit it to anyone but Hermione, but there was sort of perverse pleasure in seeing him old, sick and broken that was too hard t resist. So, he found himself searching out the room, cloaking himself and following in a nurse as she brought Tobias his tea.

Tobias Snape was an old man; wrinkled and fat. Although, Tobias had never been a small man. Severus remembered his lumbering figure looming over him from the time he was a small child and into his teen years. Tobias had broad shoulder, large hands, a protruding gut, and long legs. He had resembled a drunk, mean, lumberjack most of Severus' life and now looked like an old, wrinkled, sick lumberjack in his bed.

Tobias had always hated that Severus had taken after his mother's side. He had been skinny, almost frail, in his youth; with pale skin, weak limbs, and long awkward legs. He remembered Tobias joking that Severus had more in common with a gazelle then him. It was a joke that had lasted over six months in his household; much to Severus' displeasure.

The only feature Tobias had bestowed on him was his large and bothersome nose. A gift he had, unfortunately, handed down to his son Theo. Hermione had said it was one of his most attractive features, and he had put it to great use as a Potions Master throughout much of his life.

Truthfully, Severus had always hated his nose. Not only was it a remembrance of Tobias, but it was a source of teasing well into adulthood. He'd now come to accept this feature of his, but it had taken almost a lifetime, and the insistence of his wife that she thought him handsome, to get to that place. Everyday, he hoped Theo had a better relationship with himself then Severus did at his age.

Severus watched Tobias reach for a wrapped mint sitting on his tray; his movement was laboured. Tobias used to have lightning quick reflexes. Severus remembered that sometimes, before he even had a chance to think, his father would cuff him across the head or plough him against a wall or punch the side of his body and knock him to the ground.

Severus' reaction time to his father, did eventually, improve with age and he was able to duck or move quickly to avoid the first hit. But there were always follow-up blows that were hard to escape in their small and cramped house. Tobias was, many times, overcome with anger, and Severus, along with his mother, was the easy target. Severus realized in that moment that, had the family been able to afford a camera, every picture of him until he was seventeen years old would have had a bruise, or black eye or broken bone in it. Even as a baby, a toddler, Tobias found ways to hurt him.

"I know you're there, so you can stop your freak tricks," Tobias' voice rang out in the room.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: This is the second chapter posted today so if you missed the bit where Severus gets a call from the hospital, go back and read chapter 5 first. I want to warn everyone that there is some violence in this chapter. **

**I love your reviews and the ideas keep flowing so there should be another post again soon. Please let me know what you think!**

* * *

"I know you're there, so you can stop your freak tricks," Tobias' voice rang out in the room.

Severus considered just leaving, not interacting with the man at all. But Tobias would have viewed that as weak, and Severus was anything but weak.

"Tobias," Severus said once he had cancelled the spell. "How nice of you to finally die."

Tobias started to laugh and then broke into a coughing fit. Severus did not move from his spot to aid him and merely watched as he grasped for a drink and quelled his cough.

"Grateful as always," Tobias said with a sneer as he placed the styrofoam cup down on his tray.

"Self-important as always," Severus said coolly.

Tobias looked into the corner were Severus stood and assessed his offspring. It was a long, uncomfortable minute for Severus because he knew biting comments would follow.

"You don't look as old as I thought you would," Tobias said, shocking Severus with the back-handed compliment.

Severus said nothing in return.

"They've told me you are in charge of my care," Tobias said as he looked Severus in the eye. "I guess I deserve that."

"What you deserve," Severus said through gritted teeth as he took a step toward his father. "Is the first ticket to hell."

Tobias said nothing in return.

"Terry told me what you'd done," Tobias said as he looked toward the window in his room.

"You bothered to inquire about me?" Severus asked with a furrowed brow.

"No," Tobias admitted. "He just told me anyways."

Severus sighed, this sounded more like Tobias.

"So all the freaks think you're a hero?" Tobias asked, snidely. "King of the fucking freaks."

Severus said nothing in return. There was no use giving him more ammunition. He'd learned a long time ago that Tobias loved an argument.

"You never fucking learned," Tobias muttered as he shook his head. "Fucking hero complex...even with your mother."

"Don't speak of her," Severus hissed. "You have no right."

"I was her bloody husband!" Tobias' voice boomed over the room, reverberating against the walls. "I had rights. The law gave me rights!"

"The legal system should have locked you up and thrown away the key over sixty years ago," Severus said as he took another step toward Tobias. He could feel anger wafting off his body in waves. "What you were permitted to do, to my mother and myself, was not within your rights."

"Don't get all high and mighty with me lad!" Tobias snapped. "I see it in your eyes...I know you're just as much of a bastard as me."

Severus swallowed hard and stood stalk still. Then he turned on his heel and walked toward the door of the room.

"You can't hide from me, you little shit!" Tobias yelled after him. "I know what you are!"

The door to Tobias' room banged shut behind Severus.

* * *

**57 Years Ago**

Severus was walking down a back alley of their small community looking for coal scraps for his mother. His father hadn't been home for almost a week and they'd run out of food and coal. Their house was so cold he could see his own breath in the air and his mother had been stewing weeds on the stove into a kind of soup for them to eat. It tasted awful and gave Severus stomach pains, but it at least made his belly feel full.

It was so cold outside there was ice frozen all over the ground, causing him to slip and fall many times on his mission for his mother. The cold didn't affect Severus much, the outside temperature was no worse then the inside temperature in his house most days.

He was several blocks away from his house when he heard a familiar voice booming in the street. It was his father.

By age five, Severus had already become leery of the man. He'd beat him for the smallest of reasons and what he did to mummy always seemed worse. But hunger had made Severus bold, and he followed the voice until he arrived in front of a pub with a raucous crowd, his father was in the middle of everyone telling a story that was making them all laugh.

Severus didn't get to see this side of his father often. The jovial side of Tobias Snape was a rarity at home. He seemed to save that part of himself for others. For a moment, Severus just stopped and watched his dad before he moved forward into the crowd.

Severus side-stepped several drunken people and carefully approached his father. Surely, with this many people around, Severus was safe from his anger. Surely, his father had no idea that they were freezing and starving at home.

"And then he said 'Who me?'" Tobias voice boomed and everyone burst into laughter.

His father's face was red with drink and his eyes were slightly glazed over.

"Father?" Severus said carefully as he stood before the man.

A moment of anger flicked across the man's face before he carefully hid it again.

"What the devil are you doing out here?" Tobias asked with a slight smile on his face.

"Mummy sent me to..." Severus started then stopped when a barmaid showed up with a lager for his father and he watched Tobias grab her ass then flick some coins at her.

"Tell your mother to have a meal ready for me when I get home," Tobias interrupted him. "Fucking meat, Severus."

The crowd around him seemed to laugh and sway.

"Can I...can you give me some money for mummy?" Severus asked bravely.

"What has that whore done with my money?" Tobias bellowed as he took a step toward Severus and towered over the young boy.

"She doesn't..." Severus was confused; his mother never had money. "There's no coal and no food..."

"How dare you lie in front of my friends!" Tobias boomed and handed his drink roughly to a man standing in the crowd. "Your mother and you have the bloody best of everything!"

Severus looked at his father confused. There was little in their house, they starved most days and it was always cold. Was that having everything?

Before Severus could say another word he was picked up by the scruff of his neck. The used bits of coal he'd collected tumbled from his little pockets and the crowd snickered around his father.

"I'll fucking teach you to not lie," Tobias said as he unceremoniously dragged Severus out of the crowd and home.

Not another word was spoken. All Severus could hear was his father's ragged breathing. He could feel the anger coming off him in waves and, when Tobias threw him through the front door of his house, Severus lost control of his bladder. The warm liquid seeped down his legs, into his socks and pooled on the floor beneath him.

"Fucking embarrass me!" Tobias boomed before he landed a kick on the child.

"No!" Severus' mother yelled as she ran into the small hallway.

Tobias let out a beastly scream and grabbed Eileen Snape by the hair and smacked her into the wall as if she was a rag doll.

"Mummy!" Severus yelled as he scrambled to his feet.

"I'll teach you! You fucking ingrate!" Tobias said as he stalked toward Severus. Tobias punched Severus hard and the last thing the boy remembered was his head smacking against the wall behind him.

* * *

"Jean! Peter!" Severus smiled at Hermione's parents as he walked into their kitchen. They were at the breakfast bar drinking a glass of wine with his wife.

"You're home early," Hermione smiled at him, obviously pleased.

Severus shook Peter's hand and gave Jean a kiss on the cheek before he slipped next to his wife and kissed her cheek.

"The work will still be there tomorrow," Severus said, nonchalantly.

"Hermione was just telling us about your father," Jean said in a whisper as she leaned forward.

"Mum, I cast a muffilato," Hermione explained. "The kids can't hear us."

"Oh, good," Jean said as she sat back in her chair. "I'm so sorry, Severus."

Severus didn't know what to say to that. He was truly not sorry Tobias was dying.

Hermione handed him a glass of wine.

"Thanks mum but Tobias..." Hermione started.

"Oh, I know he was abusive and an alcoholic, but a father's a father," Jean said. "I'm sure Severus is upset."

Severus took a long drink of his wine.

"I know this may sound horrible to you Jean," Severus started as he felt Hermione tense next to him. "But I feel nothing but satisfaction from his death."

Peter cleared his throat and took a step toward Severus, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"That bad?" Peter asked.

Severus quickly nodded his head in the affirmative.

Everyone took a drink of their wine.

When Severus looked back up at Jean, her eyes were filled with sympathetic tears.

"I'm so sorry, love," Jean said in a choked voice. "Hermione didn't...you hear abuse and you think..."

"It's fine Jean," Severus said softly.

"It never is," Peter said quietly next to him.

Quiet fell over the room and Hermione serendipitously grabbed Severus' hand and gave it a squeeze. Severus smiled at the gesture.

"We should go, you've had a long day and..." Jean started as she rose from her chair.

"Thanks mum," Hermione said.

Jean and Peter hugged Hermione. Peter pulled Severus in for a rare and somewhat uncomfortable hug, and Jean kissed his face and patted his cheek like he was a child who'd just skinned his knee and needed reassurance that he'd be fine.

Hermione walked them to the fireplace and floo'd them home. When she returned, Severus was plating some of her coconut curry chicken.

"Have the kids eaten?" He asked.

"Ages ago," Hermione smiled as she walked into the kitchen. "It's like they've never seen food before, sometimes."

Severus faltered in his scooping for a moment and then continued.

"Have you eaten?" He asked as he willed himself to relax.

"I said I'd wait for you," Hermione said as she took the full plate from him and walked it over to the table.

Severus grabbed a second plate and put more coconut curry chicken on it. He was happy he didn't have to eat alone tonight.

"I'm sorry about my parents," Hermione said, as he pulled out his chair to join her.

He looked at her confused.

"They're worried and...and my mother always likes to think the best of people," Hermione said as she watched him carefully.

"I know," Severus said as he lifted his fork. "She wouldn't have accepted me in your life, otherwise."

Hermione stopped all motion and stared at him as he chewed.

"Why would you say that?" She asked, a slight clip to her voice.

"Because it's true," Severus said as he put some food on his fork and ignored her glare. "I was a bastard when we started together."

"Severus..." Hermione groaned.

"No, it's true," Severus said as he lifted his head and met her eyes. "We both know it."


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: I am quite inspired to write this story right now and the ideas are just flowing. Here's chapter 7. I know I shouldn't have to say this by chapter 7, but I will one last time. If you are not of age, do not read this. The story is for mature audiences only and contains violence and sexuality. **

**As a side note, I've been listening to Chantal Kreviazuk's song _In This Life_ as I've been writing this (from her iTunes session album-well worth the $5.99). I truly hear this song as Hermione's voice in this story-she's trying to help Severus get through this horrible time. Give the song a listen and hopefully you'll see why it's so inspiring.**

**Let me know what you think! Reviews are always appreciated.**

* * *

Hermione Snape heard the shower turn on. There had been more to Severus' day then he had revealed so far, she could see it in his eyes. She had learned, after many years of marriage, when to push her husband and when to back away. This was a back away moment; when he was ready, he would tell her.

Her eye caught their wedding picture sitting on her dresser across the room. The picture itself, had been an afterthought. An afterthought she was now grateful for as it was the only photographic record of the occasion. Every time she looked at it, a smile broke out on her face.

As crazy as it sounds, they'd just decided to get married one day. Hermione called her parents and Harry and Severus arranged for a quick ceremony at the Ministry. Severus and she put on their best robes and apparated to the Ministry together. No fuss, no muss.

Hermione smiled at the impulsivity of the whole occasion. Of course they loved each other and anticipated a future and family together; that was apparent in the picture itself. Marriage hadn't factored into everything they had going on at the time, and wasn't something she had expected from him. Truly, she had been surprised by his proposal.

* * *

**14 Years Ago**

Hermione felt the sun trace across her face. Severus had, apparently, forgotten to close the curtains last night. Without even reaching for her wand, she wandlessly shut the curtains and closed her eyes again. Then, within moments, she felt the sun back on her face and saw the glare through her eyelids.

Hermione raised her hand and commanded them shut again.

'They must have blown open in the wind," she thought to herself as she also ensured the window closed itself. She snuggled back into her covers further, prepared for another couple of hours of sleep.

Seconds later, she heard the window open and felt the sun on her face, yet again.

"Huh?" She shook her head as she rose off her pillow a little. Her eyes were unfocused and the glare from the bright early morning sun almost blinded her.

"You are proving to be quite troublesome this morning," a familiar voice drawled from the other side of the bed.

"What are you on about?" Hermione asked as she brushed her wayward hair from her eyes and sat up more fully.

"You are spoiling my light," Severus said softly as he tucked a strand behind her ear and tried to coax her back onto her pillow.

She finally focused on him and noted that he was simply sitting up in their bed looking down at her, his back against the headboard they had only partially assembled.

"I'm sorry?" She asked as her addled brain tried to focus.

"Go back to sleep," he said softly as he again, tried to coax her back onto the pillow.

"I can't with the sun blazing in on me," Hermione complained as she flopped back on the pillow and looked up at him.

His upside-down face smiled at her. She liked that smile.

"You're gorgeous, you know," he said softly as he looked at her intently.

"My aren't we waxing poetic this morning," she said as she raised up her hand and took his.

"I'm just being...grateful," he said softly. She could tell he was thinking intently about something he wanted to say but wasn't sure of the reception he might receive.

Hermione decided to distract him until he decided whether to share or not. She wasn't quite a Severus Snape expert yet, but she was getting close.

"We have the kitchen still to unpack," she said as she played with his fingers and pulled at his knuckles. "The hideous colour in the loo can't stay, I swear I feel nauseated just looking at it."

He chuckled at her joke.

"Spell it whatever colour you like, as long as it's not the colour of something that could actually be in the toilet," Severus said with a smirk.

"You are disgusting," she hummed as she dropped her hand from his and nuzzled against his thigh with her cheek. "You're an evil man, waking me early on a Sunday."

"I am not a good man," he said as he started to twine her curls around his fingers. She knew his secret passion was playing with her hair.

"No, you're my man," she said as placed a quick kiss on his bare leg. "I just want you."

His hand stopped twirling a curl mid-motion for a second, before he continued with the action.

"Are you happy?" He asked, his voice uncertain.

"What kind of question is that?" She asked with a chuckle as she looked up at him. Severus Snape was a man of intellectual and practical discussion; rarely did he start philosophical conversations.

The look of uncertainty on his face caused her breath to hitch in her throat.

"Severus..." she started as she pulled herself up to a sitting position next to him and looked at him carefully. "Just say what's on your mind."

She watched him swallow and nervously lick his lower lip.

"Would you marry me?" He asked more cautiously then she thought she'd ever heard him speak.

"Would I? Hypothetically or...?"

"No, not hypothetically," he said as his eyes shifted from her to his lap and back to her again. "Would you be my wife?"

"You're asking?" She verified.

"I'm asking, and you are not answering, which leads me to believe..."

"Of course I will!" She said as a grin split across her face from ear to ear. "What did you think I'd say?"

"You will?" He confirmed, a slight shock to his voice that broke her heart a little.

"Of course, yes Severus, of course yes," she said as she leaned in and kissed him sloppily on the lips. "You fool."

A grin made its way across his face as well, and he started to laugh. His anxiety about the situation was now released.

"You really thought I'd say no?" She chuckled as she took his face in her hands. "My answer is yes. Whenever, where ever, I will marry you Severus Snape."

He kissed her lips and pulled back.

"You don't care about a fancy ceremony?" He asked slowly and carefully. "Sometimes women secretly hope..."

"I'd marry you right now," Hermione laughed.

"Okay then, today," Severus said excitedly.

"Today?" She asked, surprised by his spontaneity.

"Today," he nodded.

"Okay," She exclaimed before he threw her hands around his neck. "Let's get married!"

He smiled down at her and kissed her forehead.

"Severus is this something that just occurred to you or have you been thinking about it for a while?" Hermione asked as she let go of him and looked into his eyes.

"It's been a thought," he admitted.

"You bastard!" She chuckled as she smacked his chest.

"I don't think you're allowed to call me that until we're married," he quipped and then ducked before a pillow landed on him.

"I should call my parents and Harry," Hermione said as she rose from their bed.

Boxes were around the room from when they moved into the apartment two days ago. They'd both been working that day and had merely apparated everything into the place to be dealt with later. Now 'later' was going to have to wait another day.

"I'll floo to the Ministry to book a time," he said as he too rose from the bed. "We'll need rings..."

"We can get them on the way there," Hermione said as she tied a robe around herself.

"You're okay with today?" He asked as he stopped her motion by grabbing her hands. She could tell he wanted to ensure she wouldn't be disappointed about this later.

"I'm ecstatic with today," she grinned before she got up on her toes and kissed his chin.

* * *

The shower shut off and Hermione smiled at the picture once again. Harry had said he should take on before he left and they had, reluctantly, posed together outside of the restaurant where they took everyone for a meal afterwards. She stood next to him in the picture, her body pressed into his side as his arm wrapped possessively around her frame. His hand, open palm, was splayed across her hip. His fingers were so long they also stretched out onto her abdomen. They were both smiling un-selfconsciously and the wind had blown their hair off their faces. It truly was a beautiful picture of them.

"When did we start to have twelve bloody tubes of shower gel and hair products in the shower?" Severus asked as he walked into their room clad in only a towel.

"Since Theo seemed to notice that Grace was a girl," Hermione said with a smile. "He's at Walter's every free minute because Walter's his friend. The fact that his twin sister Grace is also there, seems to be an added bonus."

"He does seem more interested in being at Walter's this summer," Severus noted as he walked toward his dresser.

"He likes Walter, but not that much," Hermione chuckled from her place on their bed.

"So he now knows that girls exist?" Severus asked with a snicker. "With the tri-wizard happening this year, I imagine I need to take him out for dress robes if it looks like he may have a date."

"When did you notice girls?" Hermione asked seductively as she wrapped her arms around his damp torso. She had shocked him by her close proximity.

"Not until you, my dear," he answered diplomatically.

"Good answer," she giggled as she started to kiss his back.

Severus turned his head slightly to the side and, seeing their bedroom door wide open, spelled it shut and locked it. He placed a muffilato around the room for good measure.

"You're awfully...frisky," he said with a snicker.

"I'm just grateful," she said as she wound her hands into the front of his towel and undid it.

Severus Snape stood stark naked in his bedroom as his wife seductively assaulted his person. Her one hand found his balls and stroked them with her nails, causing shivers to run up his spine. Her mouth continued to kiss and suckle his damp back while her other hand teased a nipple. She was playing him like a well-tuned instrument.

"I was just thinking of when you proposed," she said against his skin as her hand moved onto his member and started to stroke it.

"You mean the worst proposal in wizarding history?" He quipped as he arched back into her as hissed. She was overloading his senses.

"No, not that one," she chuckled. "I'm talking about your proposal; the best one in wizarding history."

"The best?" He half chuckled half groaned as she plucked at a nipple with her fingers.

"It got us here, didn't it?" She asked as she shifted around his body and attacked a nipple with her warm, wet, mouth.

"Ahhhh," he sighed as she placed both hands reverently on his balls and held them as if they were an offering.

She smiled into his chest and felt his hard member spring to life above her hands. Then, Hermione Snape slowly lowered herself to the ground and gave her husband the best blow job he'd had in months.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: This chapter may be disturbing for some, so I'm warning you now. Severus is a great dad to Theo and he reflects on a time when his father wasn't. Please let me know what you think! Reviews are always appreciated. **

**I've also decided that the 100th review gets to give me a short one-shot idea related to this story that I'll write for them. Possibly an extend-a-scene, or pre-scene, or even missing scene. **

* * *

Severus Snape paused in front of his son's door in the morning and watched him lay out four sports shirt on his bed.

"Theo?" Severus asked as he leaned against the door frame.

"Dad!" Theo jumped and his face reddened.

"What are you doing?" Severus asked.

Theo had always been the kid to grab the closest clothes, matching or not, clean or not, and throw them on his body before sprinting downstairs.

"Just, um, choosing a shirt," Theo said as he stood before his bed, almost trying to hide the display.

Severus walked into his son's room and assessed the choices before him. After some consideration, he spoke.

"The orange one would look good with those shorts," Severus said, serious. "But I haven't seen the blue one on you recently, so that could be a good choice as well."

Theo stood next to his father and crossed his arms over his chest and assessed the choices before him like his father had and nodded his head. The two men were a mirror image of each other in looks, stature, and seriousness.

Severus stifled the chuckle that was in his head. His son, upon discovering girls, had to now make serious wardrobe choices. Suddenly, it seemed, the impression he gave was important.

"I think the blue," Theo said with an air of authority.

"Good choice, son," Severus said as he patted his shoulder and turned to leave as Theo reached for the shirt.

"Thanks, dad," Theo's muffled voice rang out as he pulled the shirt over his head.

"Uh, Theo," Severus paused at his doorway, a thought occurring to him as his sensitive nose was hit with a chemical smell. "Maybe we should talk about cologne."

"I have this body spray that..."

"That's why I'm suggesting it," Severus said kindly. "It's a little...strong."

Theo self-consciously sniffled himself and looked confused.

"Be here at lunch today," Severus said. "I'll apparate home and pick you up. We'll find something a little more...subtle."

"Dad, I'm sure my body spray is..." Theo started.

"Subtle is better son, trust me," Severus said with a smirk.

"Okay," Theo agreed. "I'll be home for lunch."

Severus nodded and walked down the hall towards the breakfast that was waiting for him. His son was growing up quicker then he would like but, Severus supposed, that's something all parents must say at one point or another. The fact was, no parent wanted their child to grow older.

Severus stopped walking for a moment and closed his eyes as a memory hit him. This rite of passage was normal for a fourteen year old boy; shopping for cologne with your father. What happened to him when he was fourteen, was definitely not.

* * *

**48 Years Ago**

Fourteen year old Severus Snape sat anxiously in the waiting room of the brothel. The walls were covered in tawdry wallpaper, the seat cushions were worn, and the whole place smelled of sweat, cologne and strong perfume. His father was talking to a scantily clad woman across the room. Other 'clients' were brought in and out of the waiting room in various stages of the transaction. Some were satisfied clients, others horny men waiting to get off.

Severus felt his cock twitch in his pants as a woman wearing no more then string passed rather closely to him and smiled. She was young, possibly not much older then him, but with all the make-up it was hard to tell. Severus knew exactly why his father had brought him here and he hoped, if he had to do this, it would at least be with her.

He was taken out of his thoughts as Tobias pulled at his collar and motioned for him to get up.

"Don't say I never did nothin for you," Tobias said with a seedy grin as he pushed Severus' back and the young boy stumbled toward a group of women who seemed to be standing around chatting.

Severus stood before them perplexed. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do at this point so he stayed still and waited.

"Look at him, he looks so scared," one of the women snickered as a couple more giggled.

Severus' face reddened and he shuffled his feet.

Then he felt Tobias' meaty hand clamp down on his shoulder in a piercing grip.

"When you fuck a woman Severus," Tobias whispered into his ear. Severus could smell the alcohol on his breath. "You fuck 'em hard."

Severus turned to his father and gaped at him. He didn't know what to say to that.

"Come on honey," a woman then said as she reached for Severus' hand and started to guide him down a long hallway. She seemed familiar, yet not. Severus wasn't sure if he'd maybe seen her before.

He could hear grunts and gasps coming from behind the doors. Bed springs creaked and something smashed against a wall. No one but Severus jumped at the noise.

A couple of clients and the women they had just been with passed them as they made their way down the hallway and Severus picked up the distinct musky scent that only meant sex.

The woman who was guiding him opened a door at the end of the hallway and brought him inside, closing it behind him. Severus suddenly felt as if he couldn't breathe. He didn't want to be in the brothel, had no desire to have sex here with this woman, he also knew that Tobias would kick the shit out of him if he didn't do as he was told.

"Why don't you sit down," she said softly as she motioned toward the unmade bed.

Severus sat on the end of the bed and hoped you couldn't catch a disease from sitting on a mattress. She sat next to him and placed a hand on his thigh.

"Let's see what we're working with," the woman said as she reached for his pants.

Severus scurried back on the bed away from her, scared.

"It'll be fine honey," she said nicely as she reached again for his pants. Severus watched her undo them like he was watching a movie. It all seemed to be happening in slow motion and not to him.

"You don't look much like Tobias," the woman said conversationally as she opened his pants wide and started to pull at his underwear.

'Think of a girl you age...Lily...no...that girl out front,' Severus willed his brain as the woman pulled out his cock.

"You've never been with a girl?" She asked with a smile. Her smile was kind, gentle, even nice.

Severus nodded his head in the negative.

"Ever had a girl suck you off?" She asked as she started to fondle him.

Severus shook his head in the negative.

"Ever touched a girl?" She asked as she raised his hand to her breast and made him squeeze her melon-like mound.

Severus nodded his head in the affirmative. His had once grazed the side of Stephanie Dudley's boob when they had kissed on a dare.

Stephanie Dudley's boob, he noted, felt nothing like this one. She was a small, lean women, but her breasts seemed enormous for her frame.

"I assume you've kissed a girl," she chuckled as she continued to fondle him. Severus could feel his cock start to harden and tingles went up his spine. He was finding it harder and harder to breathe.

He nodded in the affirmative. He had kissed Stephanie Dudley and Marissa Olio. Both had been on a dare. Stephanie's had been quick and dry. Marissa's had been full of spit and awkward.

"Well I'm going to start by kissing you somewhere special," the woman said before her head bent over him and he felt her mouth smooth around his cock. He felt her long soft hair fall around his stomach and thighs as her mouth lowered until it reached his pubic hair.

"Ohhh," Severus shuttered. It was a sensational feeling.

Her head bobbed up and down a few times and Severus felt himself relax and tense at the same time. His cock was getting harder and his balls tighter, but the rest of his body was starting to feel like chocolate melting from the inside out.

He dared to watch, to look down at this woman who was making him feel amazing. Suddenly he could imagine away all the peeling wallpaper, the squeaking bedsprings and the moaning that was happening around him. It was just him and this raven haired woman; a woman who was giving him more pleasure then he felt with his own hand.

Brazen now, he reached down and touched her long hair and pulled it through his fingers. It was...familiar, somehow.

Then, a horrific realization dawned on Severus and he pulled away from her. She almost bit him she was so surprised by his action, but released his cock quickly.

"What are you...?!" She gasped as she wiped at her mouth.

Severus started to tremble uncontrollably. He reached down and started to stuff himself into his pants without care.

"What's the matter?!" The woman snapped as she watched Severus madly do up his pants. "Are you a fairy or something?"

Severus willed the tears that were forming in his eyes to not fall as he scrambled down the bed.

The woman grabbed his arm and stopped him. "That's it, you're a fucking pouf!"

Severus tried to pull free from the woman but he was trembling so bad he couldn't seem to get his legs to move.

She finally released his arm and he ran to the door and whipped it open and ran down the hall.

"What's the hurry?" Tobias bellowed as he saw his son running toward him.

"He just went mad!" The woman yelled behind him.

Severus veered around his father and scrambled toward the entrance, his long legs and feet not working in sync with each other.

"What the bloody hell happened?" Tobias yelled at him.

Severus burst through the door out onto the alleyway and ran as fast as he could. He ran until he collapsed in a field far away from his seedy neighbourhood. He ran until he fell to the ground into a ball of tears and snot. Then, he lay on the soggy ground for hours afterwards trying to get the images out of his head, trying desperately to alter his memories. She would be tall not small, have blonde hair not black, be fat not skinny, and definitely, absolutely, not look like his mother.

* * *

"Dad," Theo asked as they waiting for the sales girl to serve them. "How do you know if a girl likes you?"

"That, son is a tough question to answer," Severus said as he leaned on the counter. "Because every woman is different."

"I don't understand," Theo said as he mimicked his father's stance.

"Some women, girls, show their interest by paying a lot of attention to you. Others, by ignoring you completely. Is this about Grace?"

Theo's face immediately went red and he looked away from his father.

"Is she acting differently around you then she did in the past?" Severus inquired.

"She sort of...she laughs at all my jokes," Theo said with a confused look. "She didn't used to."

"Have your jokes got any funnier?" Severus chuckled.

"I don't think so," Theo smirked.

"Then that's promising," Severus said as he touched his son's forearm. "Only Grace knows if she has feelings for you. Until she shares that with you, you're sort of in the dark, son."

"Great," Theo mumbled.

"So I take it you have feeling for her?" Severus asked as he watched the salesgirl start to finish up with the woman she was serving.

Theo bashfully nodded his head.

"And have you done anything to show her you feel the same way?" Severus asked.

"I'm at her house all the time," Theo said with a chuckle. "I mean Walter's my friend but..."

"Why don't you ask her to go for a walk? There's that new ice cream shop that you could go to." Severus suggested.

"I can't, she might say 'no'," Theo said worriedly.

"You'll never know until you ask," Severus said with a smile. "You can spend the rest of your summer thinking about asking her, or just ask her and see what happens."

"True," Theo said as he started to straighten. The woman was handing the other customer her receipt to sign.

"And besides, it's just a walk and ice cream," Severus said as he stood and clapped Theo on the back. "You could always chalk it up to something friends would do if she really doesn't seem interested. Sort of, save face."

Theo looked at his dad and nodded his head. "Yeah, I could, especially if Walter's not around. Why wouldn't she come with me?"

"Exactly," Severus smiled at his son.

"Did you have a girlfriend when you were my age, dad?" Theo asked.

"No son, I didn't," Severus said.

"Then how'd you learn so much?" Theo asked, interested.

"A lot of mistakes, and one brilliant leap of faith," Severus mused as the woman approached.

"A leap of faith?" Theo asked, perplexed.

"I trusted your mother with everything," Severus said as he looked his son in the eye.

"Can I help you gentlemen?" The salesgirl asked.

"Yes, my son needs some cologne. Something subtle," Severus said as he wrapped his arm around Theo's shoulder.

"I've got some new things that might work," the woman smiled at them.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: Someone wondered if it was Severus' mother in the brothel in the last chapter. No, it wasn't-just a woman who reminded Severus of her-enough to really mess him up. After the bad experience in the last chapter, I thought I'd give you a good memory in this one. Thank you so much for your support of this story-it's a different type of story for me but it's nice that it's well received. The 100th review gets to give me a prompt related to this story (extend-a scene, pre-scene, missing scene, etc.) so keep those reviews coming in as they are much appreciated. Let me know what you think!**

* * *

"Theo seems quite happy," Hermione said.

"We had a talk," Severus said as he looked over his shoulder and noted that Theo was reading in the garden. "Where's Miranda?"

"Upstairs playing in her room," Hermione said as she sat down next to Severus.

"He likes Grace," Severus began with a conspiratorial tone. "I told him to ask her for a walk and to buy her ice cream at that new place."

"Innocent enough," Hermione nodded.

"Also, if it all goes ass-backwards he can claim it was just because they were friends," Severus explained in all seriousness.

"And that's, why you're a Slytherin," Hermione smiled at him. She pulled her legs up and sat cross-legged next to me.

"It's important a boy has an 'out' to save face," Severus explained.

Hermione smiled and nodded.

Severus sat and fiddled with the pages of the book he was reading.

"So, are you going to tell me what's going on in that head of yours?" Hermione asked as she reached out and gently caressed his head.

Severus looked at her quickly then back at his book. Wandlessly, he cast a muffilato around them.

"Tobias is there again," Severus said softly. "Ever since that owl...there are memories that are catching me quite unexpectedly."

"What memories?" She asked. Hermione knew what had happened to him as a child and Death Eater, he'd shared pieces of it with her as their relationship grew.

"Today it was the brothel," Severus sighed as he closed the book and placed it on the table next to him.

"Was it because I...?" Hermione started.

"No, actually, it was Theo," Severus said, interrupting her. "I helped him choose clothes this morning, took him to buy cologne, gave him advice about girls...I got to thinking what a right of passage this was for him and..."

"The brothel," Hermione concluded for him.

Severus nodded.

"Maybe you need to talk to someone?" Hermione asked. "Maybe repressing all that happened to you worked for so long but..."

"It's Tobias," Severus said.

"But how do you know that?" Hermione asked. "Maybe he's just triggered something and now you actually need to deal with what happened to you. I've never thought it was a good idea to just...go on and forget what happened to you. Maybe, what's been going on is an indicator that you need to get some help."

Severus closed his eyes and leaned back further into the cushions. His head arched over the back of their sofa slightly.

"What other memories?" She asked.

"Him giving me advice about women," Severus groaned.

Hermione burst out in a nervous laugh.

"That one happened today too?" She asked.

Severus swallowed hard and turned his head to look at her. "You don't want to know when those thoughts came to me."

Her brow wrinkled. "You can tell me anything, Severus."

Neither said anything for a while. Severus finally broke the silence.

"The reason I couldn't perform the other day..." Severus started. "Was because he was in my head."

"You said work..." Hermione started.

"I lied," Severus admitted. "I'm sorry, but in that moment, I couldn't...and I didn't want to share the vile things that Tobias..."

Hermione grabbed his hand in hers. "I know you don't think of me that way."

"I know," he said softly.

"So telling me, doesn't make me think less of you," Hermione said as she rubbed her thumb across his knuckles. "Don't lie to me, Severus."

"I'm sorry," he apologized again.

She smiled at him reassuringly.

"Any other Tobias memories?" Hermione asked.

"Just him beating the tar out of me and my mother; a regular day in the Snape household," Severus quipped.

Hermione uncrossed her legs and nuzzled up against his torso.

"I love you," she said softly.

He wrapped his arm tightly around her and kissed the top of her head.

"You don't know what that means to me, love," he said softly. "I think you saved me from myself with those words."

* * *

**18 Years Ago**

"So, tell me something about yourself that I wouldn't know," Hermione said as she snuggled into his side on his couch.

"Between the two books published and the Prophet articles over the years...I don't know if I have any more secrets," he quipped as he looked toward the fire and hoped she hadn't felt his body tense slightly.

"Oh please!" She said with a chuckle. "If all those are right, I have seventeen different degrees, no less than six lovers at any given time, and secretly work as a muggle spy."

He laughed a deep warm laugh at her joke. He liked these moments with her. When he could let his guard down and just...be.

"How many lovers do you have right now?" He asked, his voice low.

Hermione shifted against him.

"Uh, just you, right now," she said uncomfortably. "There...there hasn't been anyone else for a while."

He was somewhat surprised by her admission but tried to nod his head knowingly.

"You?" She asked, her voice unsure.

He wanted to lie in that moment, but suddenly found he couldn't. He silently cursed himself for his honestly.

"Just you," he said as he swallowed hard.

He saw her eyes go wide and tried not to worry about what that meant.

"For how long?" She asked nervously.

He sighed and decided that next time he asked her a question about lovers, he should be better prepared with his own responses for when her questions came.

"Since Poland," he admitted, worrying how that looked.

"You mean no one since..."

"No," he said.

He watched her nervously fiddle with the edge of her skirt.

"So it's been just me, just you, for all these months?" She asked as she swallowed hard.

He nodded and hoped he hadn't shown too many cards.

"Do you...do you like it this way? Just us?" She asked, worried what his answer may be, but needing to know.

"I am happy," he said, non-committally, hoping he could still save face if this all went badly.

"I like just us, Severus." She admitted. "I want it to be...just us."

He swallowed hard and looked at her seriously.

"I think you need to consider this a little more," he said honestly. "Tying yourself to me, just me, might not be in your best interest."

She gave him a small smile.

"It might not be," she admitted. "But my heart has different plans. I've fallen in love with you, Severus."

He looked at her, surprised and honestly dumbstruck by the words that had tumbled so easily from her mouth.

"I don't expect you to say it in return," she supplied. "But I have to be honest with you. And I hope that...that I haven't scared the shit out of you either."

He let out a small laugh and the tension in the air seemed to subside.

"You're heart, obviously, is quite stupid," he said as he crossed his arms over his chest defensively.

She said nothing in return and just waited.

"I like just us, as well," he said almost bashfully.

She smiled and unwound one arm from his chest and took his hand in hers; happy she hadn't scared him off.

"Good," she said as she placed a quick kiss on his neck.

He wound his arm back around her shoulder and they sat and watched the fire for a long time before he broke the silence.

"You really want to know something that no one else knows about me?" Severus asked, uneasily.

"I do," she said as she looked up at his face.

"This is, of course, not information I would want you to share with..."

"I would never tell anyone, Severus," she said assuredly.

She watched him swallow hard before he next spoke.

"It's not a happy story," he started. "In fact it's quite...horrible."

"You can tell me anything, Severus," Hermione said softly as she rubbed his knee reassuringly.

He gave her a small smile and took a deep breath before he spoke.

"When I was five, my mother sent me out looking for leftover coal. You see, our house was cold and we'd run out of food. Tobias, my father, hadn't been home for days. My mother was making a sort of weed soup on the stove and she needed more fuel..."

And with that, Severus, in his own way, told Hermione that he too, had fallen in love.

* * *

A 'model' strutted into their living room just as Severus brought down the muffilato. Miranda was wearing enough of Hermione's make-up to make a hooker blush. She had on a pair of dangerously high heels, some sort of dress and a glitter scarf.

"Who is this?" Hermione said with a smile. "Some starlet who has wandered off the red carpet?"

Severus smiled at his daughter but secretly felt dread in his belly. How was he going to protect his little girl from the world around her?

"What do you think Severus?" Hermione asked, her voice elevated.

"I think we should call Miranda down here so she can meet this glamorous woman," Severus said with a smile.

Miranda broke into a fit of giggles. "You know it's me daddy!"

"What? She sounds just like our little girl," Hermione mocked kindly. "But our little girl isn't allowed make-up or heels."

"Mum, it's just for fun!" Miranda said, perturbed.

"You look gorgeous honey," Severus said as he smiled at her. "But you'd look beautiful with skinned elbows and muddy trousers too."

Miranda scoffed at him. He'd said that often to her as she was growing up.

"Do you really think I look glamorous?" She asked, honestly.

"Wonderful," Hermione said as she clapped her hands together.

"Very glamorous," Severus agreed.

A huge smile broke out over Miranda's face and she strutted around the living room a little before leaving to probably add more to the already over-the-top outfit.

"Oh Merlin," Hermione sighed as she sat back again and burrowed into his side.

"Were you like that as a girl?" Severus asked with a smile.

"I do recall getting into my mother's make-up a time or two," Hermione snickered. "As you can see, it has made me into the glamorous woman I am today."

Severus looked down at his wife sitting next to him. She had on a pair of plaid shorts and a pink t-shirt that had seen better days. Her wild hair was pulled back into a messy bun and she didn't have a stitch of make-up on.

"You'd look gorgeous in muddy trousers," he said softly as he smiled down at her. To him, she was always the most beautiful woman in the room.

She leaned her head onto his shoulder and sighed.

"Thanks," she said softly.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: This is the second chapter today so if you haven't read chapter 9, please go back and do so before you move on. **

**Now, some of you are going to like what happens with Tobias in this chapter and some of you are going to hate the flashback. Know that things will be explained, but remember these are complicated characters and nothing is straightforward with them (or it wouldn't be realistic). **

**I love reviews so please let me know what you think! The 100th review gets to give me a prompt for a one-shot scene from this story (missing, extended, or pre). Please let me know what you think!**

* * *

"That was the care facility," Hermione said as she hung up their kitchen phone. "They say there are some behavioural issues with Tobias and his guests."

"What the hell is he doing?" Severus asked as he put down his travel mug. He had, literally, just walked in the door from work.

"I'm dealing with it," Hermione said.

"No, I should..."

"Is this about your father?" Theo asked as he grabbed a banana off their counter.

"Unfortunately, yes," Severus sighed as he placed his hands on his hips.

"Are we ever going to meet him?" Theo inquired.

"Definitely not," Severus said as he turned toward his son.

"He was that bad of a dad?" Theo asked. He knew his father had not been in contact with his family for ages but Theo found it hard to believe that his grandfather was that bad.

"Theo, remember your friend Tate whose father cuffed him upside the head for the slightest thing and always berated him?" Severus asked, honestly.

"Yes," Theo nodded. "Tate couldn't wait to get away from the bastard."

"The worst day Tate had with his father, was probably the best sort of day with mine," Severus explained.

"Oh," Theo said, his eyes going wide. "He used to hit you?"

"Yes," Severus said, not wanting to give away details.

"You'd never though," Theo said confused.

"Because it was done to me," Severus explained. "I know, quite clearly, why a father should never hit his child."

"He was...mean to you, too?" Theo asked, his voice unsure.

"He said mean, hateful, things to me and my mother," Severus explained uncomfortably. "He was an alcoholic, but that doesn't explain his behaviour. He was, above all else, a cruel man, Theo."

"And you haven't seen him since...?"

"I was seventeen," Severus sighed. "He abandoned me after my mother died. Despite the circumstances of being penniless and young, I was quite grateful, actually."

"You had no one?" Theo asked.

"No, not really, I lived at Hogwarts for the remainder of the school year, then with a cousin for a month, before I went off to my apprenticeship," Severus explained. "It was a... relief to not have my father in my life."

"Wow, dad," Theo said, genuinely flabbergasted.

"I tell you this Theo, not to upset you or make you feel sorry for me, but because Tobias not a good man, not by a long shot, son. And I'm not exposing you, or your sister, or your mother to..."

It was just then that Severus realized the other person in the room was missing.

"Hermione?" Severus asked as he whipped around on his heel.

"She left ages ago," Theo said as his father glanced around the room. "Took the car keys."

"Damn!" Severus snapped. "Theo, I have to go after your mother and..."

"Who's going to pick up Miranda at her art class?" Theo asked. "And mum promised me we'd shop for new trainers tonight."

Severus sighed and closed his eyes. One of the last people in the world he wanted in the same room with Tobias Snape was Hermione.

* * *

**19 Years Ago**

Hermione Granger walked toward her desk, anxiety riddling her person. It had been three weeks since she'd slept with Severus in Armenia. Three weeks of awkward silences, strange looks, and weird interactions.

Blessedly he'd been in Poland for the last four days and she'd been able to have some peace at work. Today he was returning and, she hoped, it was enough time apart to make this self-consciousness disappear.

She sighed with relief when she noted he wasn't at his desk.

Placing down her bag Hermione happily got on with her day. When he still hadn't appeared by lunch time, she became a little concerned; Severus never missed work.

"We need to go to Farah's today for lunch," Bernadette said as she swooped into Hermione's space and lifted her purse off the floor.

"What are you on about? It's Thursday," Hermione smiled at her elated friend.

"We. Need. To. Go," Bernadette said pointedly, her eyes almost bulging out of her head.

"O. K," Hermione emphasized as she rose from her chair and barely had time to grab her coat before Bernadette dragged her out the door.

Bernadette was practically bouncing out of her shoes all the way down to the lobby but Hermione knew she would never say anything with others around.

"What has got you so excited?" Hermione asked as they started across the road.

"You need to be seated with a drink before I tell you this," Bernadette said dramatically.

"It must be good," Hermione said, keenly interested now.

They went to Farah's and found a table in the corner. Bernadette ordered wine for both of them and bounced in her seat until it arrived.

"You're like a bloody kid in a candy store," Hermione said, laughing at her friend as she held her glass. "Okay, seated. Glass in hand. Spill."

"Do you know why Severus Snape is not at work today?" Bernadette asked coyly.

"He's sick?" Hermione asked as dread filled her stomach. If Bernadette was this excited, it wasn't something good and it had to do with Severus.

"Nope," Bernadette said.

"He's hurt?" Hermione asked as her mind thought of all the possible horrors that could have happened to him.

"Nope," Bernadette said, practically bursting to tell her.

"Just tell me!" Hermione said, more forcefully then she intended.

"He got the Polish mission last minute because Frank broke his..."

"Yes, I know, I know," Hermione said quickly, hoping it would speed up the story.

"He had to work with an Eastern European agent," Bernadette said with a nod.

"Okay," Hermione nodded in return.

"A good looking, Eastern European agent," Bernadette expanded.

Hermione felt her stomach drop.

"A good looking Eastern European agent he slept with while on the mission," Bernadette said enthusiastically.

Hermione's face dropped. She didn't know what to say or think. They weren't in any sort of relationship, far from it, but did he...was she just one of many women he'd slept with on a mission? Was it what he did?

"Take a drink," Bernadette said.

Hermione gulped back the wine in her glass.

"It appears Severus Snape is a man with a libido, and not some asexual grump," Bernadette said as she too took a drink. "But his prick got him in trouble. He's been sent home for two days on official censure."

"Who told?" Hermione asked, worried suddenly for her own job and reputation.

"The Eastern European slag bragged to her fellow workers that she bagged the world famous hero Severus Snape," Bernadette shook her head. "I mean part of me is glad she told, because now we know...but that's just underhanded after you've..."

"I don't feel well," Hermione said as she stood from her seat.

"Was the wine off?" Bernadette asked as she smelled her glass.

"No, I was...I was sick this morning and now the smell of food..." Hermione lied as she gathered her things. "Can you tell Daniel?"

"Sure, love," Bernadette said as she rubbed Hermione's arm. "You want me to take you home?"

"No, I'll be fine," Hermione said with a shake to her head. "I just need to rest and stay away from...from food."

"Okay, feel better love," Bernadette called after her as Hermione started to leave. "I'm sure I'll have more juicy bits about this when you come back!"

Hermione just nodded her head and burst out onto the street.

* * *

"Hello Tobias," Hermione said as she stood next to his bed. "I'm Hermione Snape, Severus' wife."

Tobias looked her up and down, perplexed. "You're young."

"Severus is almost twenty years older then me," Hermione said.

"How did my son...I mean he's nothing to look at..." Tobias said still perplexed by the whole situation. "Did he trick you? Blackmail you?"

Hermione let out a small smile at the absurdity of his idea.

"No, I am quite happy, no spells or otherwise to..."

"So, you're a freak too?!" Tobias barked at her causing Hermione to jump slightly. "That bloody explains it. You're a good looking freak, but still one of them!"

"I will silence you if you can't control yourself," Hermione said as she straightened her back.

"Fuck you little lady, if you think..." Tobias started then stopped when he suddenly had no voice. Hermione had silently cast on him and she watched as he grew more and more agitated in his bed at the loss of his voice.

"Now, you can control yourself, or we can make this a one-sided conversation where I talk and you listen," Hermione warned as she watched him pick up a Styrofoam cup to throw at her.

She pulled out her wand and cast on the cup, slowly lowering it to the floor.

"I can bind you as well if you persist in this idiotic behaviour," Hermione said as she looked him in the eye. "Severus may not want to involve himself with you in any way, but I, on the other hand, have a few things to say to you."

Tobias reached for his call button but Hermione was too quick. She placed him in a loose body bind and watched as he realized his arms and legs were somewhat tethered.

"First of all," Hermione started as she pulled up a chair next to his bed. "You will not mistreat the nurses in this facility. I know you have no love for the females of the species, besides taking gratification from them, but you will mind their rules while you are here or you will find yourself Imperio'd. Do you know what that means?"

Tobias looked at her and folded his arms over his chest.

"It means I can get you to do anything I like," Hermione said as she sat back in the chair. "So unless you want me to make you into a weak old man that cries and snivels on the shoulders of the nurses thanking them for everything they do for you...I suggest you behave."

Tobias huffed and looked out the window in his room.

"Secondly, you are not permitted any more visitors," Hermione said. "The last people who came here to 'visit' you were responsible for robbing several other patients of their things, and taking a prescription pad from one of the doctor's offices."

He looked at her with the expression 'what do you want me to do about it?'

"The records now indicate that the only visitors permitted are Severus, Terry and myself," Hermione explained. "And you knew exactly what they'd do, so don't play the innocent card Tobias. You have not been innocent since the day you were born."

Tobias pointed to his mouth and Hermione reluctantly raised the silencing spell.

"So my son has told you lies about me, has he?" Tobias asked.

"No, he's told me most of the truth and, I'm sure, kept back some of the cruellest and most disturbing bits," Hermione explained.

"Has he told you about all the shit he pulled? About beating the crap out of me the day before his mother's funeral? About..."

"I'm sorry, you seem to be mistaken," Hermione leaned forward. "I don't really care one iota what you have to say, but I have to say something that Severus would never say himself. I thought that, somehow, saying goodbye to you would bring him a kind of peace that he lacks when he reflects back on his childhood. I was, obviously wrong. And now, for however long you live, he has to deal with you because I thought it would be good for him."

"Look, you fucking cunt..." Tobias snapped and the stopped speaking when the silencio was cast on him again.

"I think that's quite enough," Hermione said as she stood from her chair and towered over him. "I need you to know, despite what you have done to my husband...the debasement, the abuse, the cruelty, the vile things you exposed him to...he has become everything you are not. He is a hero and not only did he save many lives but he, almost single-handedly, changed the future of our world."

Hermione watched as he turned his head to look away from her. She knew Tobias had never valued Severus' magical background so calling him a hero in a different world, a world Tobias saw as lacking, probably didn't register much.

"He's also an amazing husband," Hermione said with a smile. "He would never, ever, raise his hand to me, or degrade me, or violate me like you did to his mother. We are equal partners and he loves and supports me in all I do, something I'm sure, you find difficult to comprehend."

Tobias shifted farther over onto his side away from her.

"Also, he's an amazing father...not that you'd recognize one," Hermione started. "He does all the things for our kids you never did for him. He truly loves them and takes great joy in their accomplishments instead of joy in their weaknesses. They look up to him and know they can count on him for anything. How he has managed this, considering the father he had, still baffles me everyday."

"And finally, despite the horrors he suffered by your hand," Hermione started. "He has not left you to rot in the street like you probably deserve. So Tobias, I wanted you to know that you lost. That your mission to make Severus as hateful a man as yourself, has not happened. That he, in spite of you, has become everything you are not, and probably despise. Everything that makes him wonderful."

Hermione walked around to look him in the eyes.

"You are going to die soon, and I wanted you to know what kind of man your son is before that happens," Hermione said almost kindly. "I know you will never relish in his accomplishments, but I want you to know, if nothing else, that you are a failure."

Tobias' eyes went wide in surprise.

Hermione turned on her heel and started to walk from the room. She cancelled the loose binding spell and the silencio just as she got to the door.

"You can put all the bows on him you want, bitch!" Tobias yelled after her. "But you and I both know there's a part of him that's black as coal! Black as fucking coal!"

Hermione stepped from the room and was shocked to see Severus standing right outside the door.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: This is a shorter chapter but, I think, quite revealing of where we are going. **

**Congratulations to mama123 for the 100th review! She gave me an EXCELLENT prompt (one I'm sure many of you will be pleased with!) and I'll be working on that soon and posting it after a few more chapters are up. It'll be a one shot so it'll be listed separate from this story (I'll let you know when it's up). **

**I'm going to have a new challenge closer to 200 reviews, but it'll be a little different. Everyone who has submitted earlier reviews of a particular chapter (coming in a week or two) will have the opportunity to include a prompt with their review. I'll pick the one I like best and do a one-shot for them. Confusing enough? I'll explain when we get there-no worries! **

**Reviews are always appreciated, please let me know what you think!**

* * *

They were standing in a store watching their kids pick out new trainers. Anger was palpitating off of Severus and Hermione was trying to ignore it.

"How about these?" Miranda asked as she held up a pair of purple shoes.

"Go with your brother to the salesperson and see if they have your sizes," Hermione said as she shooed them away.

Severus had merely grunted and harshly taken her arm in the hospital, pulling her away from Tobais' room and toward their children waiting in the lobby. He had said nothing since.

"I know you're angry," Hermione said softly as she stood next to him. "But..."

"I said I'd handle it," Severus said through gritted teeth, his arms crossed defensively over his chest.

"I handled it," Hermione said forcefully.

"Tobias is my respon..."

"He's your father, so he's our responsibility," Hermione said assuredly.

Severus sighed and started to rub his forehead.

"Hermione, I didn't want to expose you to his..." Severus started.

"We'll put my memories in a pensieve and you'll see what..."

"I don't need to see the pensieve." Severus explained.

"You're going to look at the pensieve memories when we get home, if not for your sake, for mine," Hermione said as she crossed her arms over her chest. "I dealt with him just fine."

"And that's why he was yelling at you and calling you a bitch as you left the room?!" Severus snapped.

"It wasn't like that it..."

"Hermione, it was horrible watching him mistreat my mother, but you...I...I wanted..."

"You wanted what? To protect me? To bubble wrap me? What?" She hissed as she pulled at his crossed arms, frustrated with him.

"It's enough that you know what happened to me...what my childhood was like with Tobias," Severus started, a look a defeat on his face. "I didn't need this world, our world, to blend with that one."

"But it already has Severus," Hermione said softly as she watched his arms drop to his sides. She grabbed his hands in hers and face him. "He's back in your head, the care facility is calling us, Terry is writing us, the kids are asking about him...whether you want to acknowledge it or not, your childhood, which you kept in a box until now, is very much a part of our life today."

He sighed and watched his children approach with shoe boxes. There was something he needed to tell her before they could hear; something he had hoped he would never have to say again.

"It's more then that, Hermione," he said softly. "When I heard him yelling at you, calling you a bitch, I wasn't just angry with him...in that moment, I was a Death Eater again, and it took everything in my power not to kill him."

* * *

**44 Years Ago**

"It's time to prove your worthiness Severus," the Dark Lord said as he watched the entertainment before him.

"Whatever you ask, my Lord," Severus said as he kneeled before him.

Behind Severus a large group of Death Eaters were writhing in ecstasy, their naked bodies penetrating each other and sliding along to the next pliable form. Severus had taken part in two orgies in the year he'd been a Death Eater and he remembered little of either. The drugs that were in his system and the other-worldly experience of taking pleasure from each other in such a public environment had caused him to block most of the memories. He hoped proving himself did not involve sexual activities.

"There is a muggle that has been captured," the Dark Lord said distractedly. "Lucius keeps reminding me of your talent with potions so, I would like you to develop something based on Veritaserum but much more painful."

"Is it my understanding, that you would like the person given the potion to not only speak the truth, but feel pain as they do?" Severus clarified.

The Dark Lord looked away from the entertainment and gave Severus an odd smile. "You know me so well."

"I will start immediately, my Lord," Severus said as he stood from his spot and started to back away.

"You can use the muggle for your experiments," the Dark Lord said as he motioned for some guards to bring forth the victim.

A woman, no more then thirty, was dragged before him. She was in relatively good shape, considering she had been captured, and she stood next to Severus, her mouth gaping at the sexual activity next to them. Severus could tell she was worried she was about to be included. What she didn't know, was that Death Eaters never debased themselves by having sex with muggles.

"Where do you want her Severus?"

"There's an empty room off the lab," Severus said, not worried about her feelings. "Take her there and feed her. I don't want her sick or my experiments won't be accurate."

The guards nodded and took her away. He could see the relief in her shoulders and wondered, if she knew the experiments that were to come, if she'd be so thankful.

* * *

"Do you feel better now?" Hermione asked as she handed him a towel to wipe his face. She had placed her memories of the meeting with Tobias in a pensieve for Severus to watch.

"He won't get it," Severus said as he wiped his face. "As much as it is wonderful you think of me that way, and feel the need to share it with him, Tobias..."

"On some level he understood," Hermione said as she took the towel from him. "He got it."

"Why did you feel the need to...?" Severus asked.

"Because you are wonderful, and part of me is quite hurt that you don't always think of yourself that way, and...and that he needed to know that someone did," Hermione explained.

Severus sighed and looked out their kitchen window. It was dark outside and you could barely see the lights of the Young's house in the distance. They lived in a wizarding community which suited everyone quite well. The kids were free to fly around, he was asked for the occasional medicinal potion, and Hermione saw her friends frequently.

"I feel out of sorts since this afternoon," Severus said quietly. "Like my skin doesn't fit."

"Why don't you speak with Xavier?" Hermione asked as she placed her hand over his on the counter. "He's worked with a lot of wizards and..."

"You think I need counselling?" He asked scoffing.

"I think," she said softly. "Their are few wizards in this world who have seen, and done, and went through, what you did. Counselling is not a weakness, but a strength because you see a problem and look for help."

"I could...I mean you know my history and..." Severus stammered. If he was going to talk to someone he wanted it to be her.

"I will talk with you about anything, Severus," Hermione said as she moved closer to him and rested an arm around his waist. "But I think Xavier might be able to help you more then I could and...and I want you to find some sort of peace with your past, not just shove it under the carpet."

"You think I need this?" He asked, his voice cracking slightly.

"I think there's a reason why you've been staring out at Xavier Young's window this entire conversation," she said as she stood and looked at the light in the distance with him.

He chuckled and kissed the side of her head. She knew him too well.

"I'll owl him tomorrow," he said softly as he wrapped an arm around her waist.

Not another word was spoken as the couple climbed the stairs and fell into bed together; a jumble of legs and arms curled up against each other in the dark as they quickly fell asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: I have to apologize in advance to Hermione for what I put her through in this chapter, but it was necessary for some movement in their early relationship. As always, reviews are wonderful. Please let me know what you think.**

* * *

"Did Ginerva have a nice birthday?" Severus asked his wife as she appeared in the floo.

"She did," Hermione smiled as she brushed off her robes.

When she looked up at him Severus noticed that her cheeks were flushed.

"I see you've been enjoying yourself," Severus said with a smirk as he lowered his paper and watched his wife straighten her back and try to look more sober.

"It was a nice evening," Hermione said as she walked toward him and leaned down toward his face.

"You've obviously had more then the requisite glass of wine," Severus said with a smirk. He could smell the alcohol on her breath.

"We had martinis," Hermione said. "I think they were rather strong."

"How many did you have?" Severus asked.

"Three...yes, three," Hermione said, making no attempt to return to standing.

"Love, you know you can't hand hard liquor," he sighed.

"I didn't want to stand out," Hermione said. "I just had what they had."

"Please don't tell me you tried to keep up with Ginerva," he said as he looked at her more carefully.

"No, I'm not an idiot," Hermione said as she kissed the end of his nose.

Severus smiled at her.

"You're so cute when you smile," Hermione said as she patted the side of his face.

"I think that's my cue to get you in bed," he said as he placed the paper down on the side table and started to rise, forcing her back.

"And what will you do to me when we get there?" Hermione asked, flirtatiously.

"Give you a Sober-up that I hope hasn't expired, and some sport drink," Severus said.

"Party-pooper," Hermione mumbled as he started to guide her upstairs.

"Yes, that's me," Severus said with a snicker.

* * *

**19 Years Ago**

Severus was just getting his keys to go out when he heard someone knocking on his door. Confused as to why anyone was here at, he stretched to look at the clock, twenty after ten at night, he took out his wand before approaching the door.

He looked out the window and saw Hermione Granger shifting in front of his door. He dropped his head against the door frame and cursed his own existence. It was bad enough he had been reprimanded at work and sent home for two days, now he had to face the wrath of a woman.

"I know you're there," Hermione said with a somewhat slurred voice from the other side.

Severus sighed and whipped open the door. It was cold outside and her whole body seemed frozen, yet not.

"Granger," he said as he leaned casually against the open door. A polite man would invite her in out of the cold; he wasn't that man.

Apparently it wasn't necessary, because she walked right past him and into his house.

"Just make yourself at home," Severus said sarcastically as he watched her, surprised. "How do you even know where I live?"

"Harry," Hermione said with her back to him.

"I knew it was a mistake to meet him here," Severus mumbled under his breath as he shut the door.

She was looking at his place and not facing him for the longest time. If he looked carefully he would have noticed that she wasn't moving except for a slight sway to her entire body.

"I'm actually on my way out, so if you'd care to enlighten me on the reason for your visit..."

Hermione said nothing. She didn't move.

"Granger," he said again, a hint of worry in his voice.

"Was I just convenient?" She asked quietly.

"I don't..."

"Just answer the bloody question!" She snapped as she whirled around to face him. It was then that he truly took in her appearance. Her messy hair, an undone coat, a rosy face with a cold, red nose and clammy looking skin.

"I don't know what you want me to say," he answered honestly as he took step toward her.

"The bloody truth to start!" Hermione said. "I can't believe for weeks things have been awkward and...and bizarre between us. If...if I had known this was what you do, I would have dealt with this differently...it would have been..."

"How much have you had to drink tonight?" Severus asked, concerned, as he took a step toward her. He his keen nose could smell the alcohol on her breath when he got within a couple of feet.

"Don't change the..." Hermione started then stopped when he got closer to her. She seemed to be trying to balance herself as if she was dizzy.

"You're sweating," he said as he observed some perspiration on her upper lip. He reached out a hand and touched her forehead. She was burning up.

She pulled away from him and stumbled slightly. He reached out and caught her before she fell.

"How much have you drank?" He asked again, this time more forcefully.

"I'm not drunk!" Hermione snapped as she pulled away from him. "Unless you can get drunk from one glass of wine!"

Severus knitted his brow. Something was incredibly wrong with her.

"Were you alone? Where did you have this drink?" He asked watching her yawn dramatically.

"That...that place," she said as she pointed with her hand as she started to crookedly pace.

"Near here, or near your apartment?" He asked as he mimicked her steps so he could catch her if she wavered.

"It has that stupid name," she said as she wavered in a step and he reached out to grab her.

She was surprised when he held her close to him and grabbed her chin with his hand and looked deeply into her eyes.

"Severus..." Hermione mumbled. She felt weird, like something was pushing on her brain.

She stood in his embrace for almost a minute, his face mere inches from hers.

"You've been drugged," he said as he released her.

"What?!" She laughed. "Don't be ridiculous!"

"You were at the Rabid Mutt," he said as he stood in front of her considering their options. "You were alone and you left your wine when you visited the loo. When you came back that bloke was now sitting next to you, but he wasn't before, and he kept bugging to walk you home."

"Uh, may...maybe..." Hermione said, her memory fuzzy.

"He followed you out of the bar and was probably behind you all the way to my place but left when he realized you weren't going home, possibly when I opened the door," Severus explained. "I think he gave you a date rape drug."

The little colour that was in her cheeks washed from them. Hermione threw her hand over her face and awkwardly ran towards his kitchen to throw up in his sink.

"Oh gods," she cried as she swayed over his sink, tears running down her face and vomit continuing to come up.

"Just relax," he soothed as he brought a cool towel to her neck. "You're going to be fine, we'll just go to the mediwitch and..."

"Oh gods, no," she cried as she wiped at her mouth. "I just...how humiliating."

"Hermione," he started as he rubbed her back and watched her continue to vomit. "You need to have fluids, to have them check you for the drug, to report..."

"I'll be taken off duty if a report is filed," she said as she turned on the tap and splashed water on her face. "You know the protocol and..."

She was interrupted by a wave of dry heaves that took her breath away.

He cast a spell over his nose to prevent the horrid smell from filling his nostrils.

"I'll just go home and eat and drink water and..."

"I will not allow..." Severus stared.

"You have no say in my life, Severus Snape," she half coughed, half cried into his sink.

"I do when you walk into my house like this," he said sternly.

She started to stand and then quickly grabbed the ledge of his sink before she fell over. her knees seemed incredibly weak all of a sudden.

"Of course you'd blame me," she snapped at him as she tried to find her balance.

"I don't blame..."

"Just hand me my purse so I can call...my purse!" Hermione cried as she realized it was not on her and that she had not carried it inside.

"Don't worry about the bloody purse," he said as he paced a little in front of her. "But I insist we go to a mediwitch so..."

"Please, no," she cried as fresh tears ran down her face. Hermione tried to take a step forward and her legs buckled. Severus lunged forward and caught her before she hit the ground. When he looked at her next, she was passed out in his arms.

"Bloody hell," he said before he carried her into his bedroom.

The next morning, Hermione Granger woke up in an unfamiliar room and had no idea how she got there. She looked around for a clue. It was a completely white space, modern and impersonal. Not ugly, but there was no sign of who's room it was. She only knew she'd never been there before.

Her head and body ached and her memories...

She quickly looked down at her person and saw that she was wearing someone else's clothes. Blue men's gym shorts and a long sleeve grey cotton shirt. She picked up the band of the shorts and was relieved to see she still had on her underwear and, upon closer inspection, her bra.

A wave of nausea washed over her and she launched herself from the cozy bed and ran toward what seemed liked an ensuite bath. Fortunately it was, and she emptied what seemed like bile into the toilet before getting up and wiping her face.

"You're moving better," a voice behind her said.

She slowly turned to see Severus Snape standing in the doorway with a sports drink in his hand.

"Here, have this," he said as he offered the beverage.

"What am I doing here?" Hermione asked, confused as she flushed the toilet and sat on the closed lid.

"I don't really know," he said honestly. "You showed up at my door late last night and I thought you were drunk but..."

"I was coming to speak with you about..." Hermione stopped talking.

"I gathered that," he nodded and folded his arms over his chest.

"I stopped at the pub at the end of the block and had a drink...liquid courage," Hermione said as she ran her hand through her matted hair. "Then..."

He said nothing, waiting to see where the memories ended.

"I can't remember getting here, or talking to you or...or anything," Hermione said confused.

"That's because you were probably drugged with rohypnol," he said. "It's also known as the date rape drug."

"What?! But, how?" Hermione asked, her eyes going wide.

"There was a man at the bar with you and I think he put it in your wine when you visited the ladies," Severus concluded. "He was hoping to take advantage, but you arrived here too quickly."

"Oh gods!" She said as she started to cry. "How do you know this? Are you sure he didn't...?"

"I used Legilimens," Severus confessed. "From what I saw, you came back from the ladies, gulped back the wine and exited. He tried to convince you to let him walk you home but you refused. Your last memory of him is him walking out behind you, but you literally arrived at my door step within minutes and came inside. I believe he abandoned his...plans then."

"Oh gods," Hermione said as she folded over and held her head in her hands.

"Your clothes were not askew and I think that the drug actually didn't really start to take effect until you were almost here," Severus said as he walked to the sink, wet a cloth and handed it to her.

"Thanks," she said softly from under her mass of hair.

"You're welcome," he said kindly.

"You didn't take me to a mediwitch?" Hermione asked.

"You begged me not to, because there'd be a report," Severus explained.

"Shit, that's right, I'd be taken off duty for weeks or months until it was properly resolved," Hermione said as she wiped her face.

"After you were done vomiting in my sink..." Severus started.

"Oh gods, I'm sorry, I'll clean it and..." Hermione said as she looked toward the sink.

"It was the kitchen one," Severus explained. "And it's already clean."

"Sorry," Hermione muttered, not meeting his eyes.

"I made you urinate, then drink one of these before I put you to bed," Severus explained as he pointed to the sports drink in her hand.

Hermione's face coloured. 'He'd watched me pee?'

"Thanks," Hermione said, her eyes closed.

"I kept some...fluid and suspended it so you could have it tested," Severus explained. "From what I have read, it looks like rohypnol, but you should have it tested to be sure."

"You took a urine sample?" Hermione asked as she cried. The embarrassment didn't seem to want to end.

"I spelled the toilet to take one as you urinated," Severus explained. "I waited...outside."

Hermione closed her eyes and thanked the gods for small miracles.

"Thank you," she said softly. "And the clothes?"

"Your shirt was a mess from the vomit and..."

"And?" Hermione asked.

"And you missed the toilet a little when you were in here," he said uncomfortably.

"Oh gods," she cried as she buried her head in her hands.

* * *

Severus Snape locked the door downstairs and mounted the stairs to the second floor. Hermione was safe and snoring in their bed after he had given her fluids and helped her get changed. She had rarely drank more then a glass of wine at a time throughout their entire relationship and she had shown him, early on, how to enjoy himself without going to excess. Which is why, tonight was quite surprising behaviour for her.

In those years just after the war, excess had been part of who he was. Take the most dangerous missions, sleep with all kinds of women, and drink until he passed out. She made him see that what he was doing wasn't coping, as he thought he had been, but rather running as far away from his troubles as he could.

She'd made him slow down and sometimes just stop. At first, it was excruciatingly painful to be alone with his thoughts and memories. Then it had gotten better, and eventually normal became enjoyable; he no longer desired excess in his life and he realized it was because of her.

When he drew that conclusion many years ago, it was easy to hope for a better future. One that included her.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: Here's the latest one. Severus finally gets some help and has a horrible memory about Theo as a baby. Please let me know what you think! I love reviews!**

* * *

"And so he's just come back into your life?" Xavier Young asked calmly.

"Yes," Severus said. "Not by choice."

"After forty-five years?" Xavier asked.

"Yes," Severus conceded.

"And you feel his appearance is causing these...memories?" Xavier asked.

"Yes," Severus said.

"But the memories were always there," Xavier noted.

"I'm sorry?" Severus asked.

"You didn't lose your memory through some sort of accident, correct?" Xavier asked.

"No," Severus said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"So they've always been there, all these years," Xavier noted.

"Somewhere, buried, I suppose," Severus said with a huff.

"And they have not surfaced in all these years until now?" Xavier confirmed.

"No, they...they were there for a time," Severus stammered.

"When did they stop?" Xavier asked.

"I don't have a bloody date," Severus huffed again as his arms got tighter around him.

"Just tell me when they stopped Severus," Xavier said kindly.

* * *

**14 Years Ago**

Theo screamed from his crib, tears streaming down his face.

"Dadadadada!"

Severus paced outside of his room nervously.

Hermione's mother had fallen and needed to be taken care of and he had been left alone with Theo for almost five hours. At first it was fine, the baby had slept, but recently he had woken and no amount of work on Severus' behalf had stopped the wailing. He had picked up Theo, changed his diaper, given him a bottle and rocked him in his arms; things that should have calmed him but didn't. Severus had sent two patronus' to Hermione and had received no response.

In the six months that Theo had been alive Severus had never had to deal with a screaming child alone. Hermione was always around, cooing softly, changing him calmly. Severus had followed suit and sometimes it had calmed the lad, other times he had relinquished Theo to her.

Now, he was stuck in their apartment with a baby that was slowly turning purple from screaming and he was paralyzed. He had no coping strategies for a situation like this and he felt hopeless when faced with his unhappy child.

In short, Severus Snape felt like a complete failure. He realised in that moment that he knew nothing about his son, beyond cursory information, and that when faced with mutiny, didn't know what to do.

Severus conked his head back against the hallway wall and tried to find inspiration as his son screamed blue murder behind him.

He had early memories of Tobias yelling at him and flinging him across rooms as if he were a rag doll. Severus pictured his son's beautiful face and couldn't imagine doing that to his child. Severus also remembered Tobias humiliating him as a child in front of his family and friends when he wet himself or allowed a tear to fall when hurt.

Severus pulled himself away from the wall and turned to face his son. No child of his would be ashamed of his upset.

"Come here lad," Severus said as he walked into the room with his arms outstretched.

"Daaaaaa" Theo cried, his face streaked with wet tears.

"Daddy's sorry," Severus said as he lifted his son out of his crib and sniffed his butt again. The child was dry.

Theo wailed in his arms and seemed to fling himself around within his father's grip.

**"You're a fucking useless failure!" Tobias' voice rang through his head.**

"What can daddy do to help?" Severus asked his inconsolable son, trying to ignore the voice in his head.

**"I'm ashamed of you," Tobias' voice slurred in his head.**

Severus started to pace with his son bouncing him in his arms and trying not to take the screaming personally. He could do this; he could help his son overcome whatever was upsetting him.

**"You'll never be anything. You're nothing!" Tobias' voice snapped through his head.**

"I'm his fucking father!" Severus snapped back to no one in particular. He bounced Theo more forcefully in hopes the motion would help.

**"Just cause you fucked her doesn't make you his father," Tobias' voice laughed in his head.**

"Shut up!" Severus snapped as he walked in a tight circle and patted Theo's back.

**"You're just going to make him as fucked up as you, and you know it," Tobias laughed in his head.**

"And you had nothing to do with that!" Severus snapped back as he banged on Theo's back. Theo started to wail even louder.

**"She's going to see what a loser you are; how weak you are," Tobias taunted him. "Shut him up with a slap...she'll never know."**

"Shut up!" Severus screamed at the top of his lungs as he held Theo an arm's length away from his body. When he opened his eyes he saw a scared baby staring at him with big brown eyes. Theo had stopped screaming because he was frightened of his father.

"Oh gods, not you," Severus huffed as he clutched the child to him. Theo started to cry anew and Severus rocked them both as he slowly lowered himself down a wall and onto the floor.

He had managed to do exactly what his father had done to him; scare the living shit out of his offspring. Severus had sworn he wouldn't become his father and yet, in a matter of six short months, Theo had looked at him with terror in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry Theo, it wasn't you," Severus coo'd. "You're a good boy. Daddy was yelling at someone...someone else. Never you, Theo; not you."

Severus rocked his son on the floor and begged for his baby's understanding as Theo continued to wail and contort in his arms.

"Oh gods, daddy is so sorry," Severus said as he patted his son's back gently.

Theo continued to cry for another minute until finally he let out a loud belch. Severus looked at his son astonished, and was just about to speak when a loud fart vibrated through his diaper. Theo seemed to giggle, then settled, satisfied against his father's chest.

Severus laughed in relief. It was gas, nothing more. Not a sign of his poor parenting skills, or his shittiness as a father. It was just gas. Gas and Tobias' damn voice in his head.

Severus patted the downy head of his son, now almost asleep in his arms, and knew that this could never happen again. If he was to ever be successful as a father, he needed to banish the shit that happened to him as a kid and exorcise Tobias' presence in his head. He needed to move forward and beyond what he knew; Hermione would help him do that. Whether it was a conscious decision or not, Severus didn't hear Tobias' voice again for fourteen years.

He fell asleep that night sitting on the floor against the wall with his content son asleep against his chest. Hermione found them that way when she came home an hour later. He told her what happened, and they never spoke of Tobias again.

* * *

"I have to go see Terry," Severus told Hermione as she handed him a glass of white wine and sat down next to him on the couch.

"Okay," Hermione said.

"That's it? Okay?" Severus asked.

"What am I supposed to say?" Hermione asked.

"I don't know, more surprise...I thought," Severus said as she took a sip of his wine.

"Oh my!" Hermione said with a fake gasp as she put a hand up dramatically to her cheek.

Severus chuckled at her dramatics.

"Better?" Hermione asked with a smile.

"Sure," he said with a nod.

Hermione whacked him playfully with her fist.

"Okay, so why do you have to see Terry?" Hermione asked.

"Xavier thinks it'll fill in some gaps I have with my father and help me...come to terms a little more quickly," Severus explained.

"Some gaps?" Hermione chuckled. "Hasn't it been twenty or thirty years since you spoke?"

"Something like that," Severus said.

"He's written asking about Tobias," Hermione said. "I answered his questions and sent it back. He didn't inquire about you or..."

"That's Terry," Severus said. "He's a Snape."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hermione asked with a crinkled brow.

"I mean, he's only interested in a narrow range of topics and our family is not one of them," Severus explained. "So, in true Snape fashion, doesn't waste time on frivolous questions or information."

"Got it," Hermione said with a nod. "Will he agree to see you?"

"Probably," Severus said.

"Probably?" Hermione asked.

"We didn't exactly part under the best of terms," Severus explained before he took another drink.

Hermione looked at him wide-eyed waiting for more of an explanation.


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: Here's the latest chapter. We learn a little about Severus' past with his cousin and Terry fills in a couple of details about Tobias' life. We also get that scene after Hermione was drugged that everyone has been waiting for. **

**For those of you concerned about the type of relationship they started in the past, I invite you to re-read chapter 9 to put your mind at ease.**

**Please let me know what you think! Anyone who reviews for this chapter also has the opportunity to post (within their review) a pre-scene, extended scene or missing scene idea from this story that they would like to see. I'll pick one and write it. Don't worry mama123, your scene (from the last challenge) is coming soon! **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"It's been a long time," Terry Snape said as he gestured for Severus to take a seat in his back garden.

"It has," Severus said as he sat down in the rickety chair.

"Has it been thirty years?" Terry asked conversationally as he crossed one leg over the other.

"About that," Severus said as he leaned forward on his knees. "I know we didn't part well..."

"You brought Matilda to a revel," Terry said as he gritted his teeth.

"I knew she wouldn't join," Severus explained. "That's why I brought her."

"You wanted her to join," Terry said as he squared his jaw. "She said you were quite convincing."

"I was playing a part," Severus explained. "I couldn't tell her in advance, if the others..."

"So you used her," Terry said with a sneer.

Severus looked at his hands and sighed. "I did. We all were pressured to bring new recruits and I needed to bring someone, so I brought Matilda, knowing she wouldn't join."

"Easy to say now," Terry scoffed.

"Terry, I purposely brought Matilda to one of the worst ones we'd had, so there would be no way she'd be enticed to belong. After everything you know about my...role, do you honestly think I wanted her to become a Death Eater?"

Terry shrugged non committally.

"If you can't believe the truth, then I'm not sure we have much to say to each other," Severus said as he started to rise from his chair.

"Matilda told me as much but...but you were so dark back then, so angry...I couldn't put it past you," Terry explained as he met Severus' eyes.

Severus sat back down in his chair.

"You've changed from what Matilda has shared," Terry said as he looked at Severus carefully.

"I haven't seen much of Matilda since that revel," Severus explained.

"There've been articles written about you, your wife and your kids," Terry explained. "She told me about some of them."

"I know you're not part of the wizarding community," Severus stated.

"Not much for a squib there," Terry said. "It's easier being a muggle and with Bridget..."

"She doesn't know?" Severus asked.

"She just thinks Matilda is eccentric," Terry chuckled.

"Probably easier that way," Severus nodded.

"So, you've got kids?" Terry asked.

"A boy and a girl," Severus nodded. "Theodore and Miranda, he's fourteen and she's eleven. You?"

"Just Terry Jr," Terry said. "He's been living with Stacey for almost a decade now, no kids."

The garden went silent for several moments as each man thought of something to say.

"Your wife is quite a bit younger I heard?" Terry asked. "Explains why your kids are so young when my Terry is almost forty."

"Yes, Hermione is in her early forties," Severus explained.

"And she was your student?" Terry asked with a raised eyebrow.

"When we started dating she hadn't been for some time," Severus explained, uncomfortably. "Look, I know what some of the Prophet articles intimated but..."

"I'm not saying that," Terry said as he raised a hand to stop Severus' explanation. "I'm just trying to make conversation Severus."

Severus nodded. Hermione's age was not an issue with them, but around some others was a touchy subject and one he got quickly defensive of.

"I'm sorry," Severus apologized.

"Matilda said there was a lot of...coverage when it came out you were together," Terry started, trying to find less upsetting ground.

"We kept our relationship a secret for a number of years," Severus explained.

* * *

**19 Years Ago**

"I want to start by apologizing for the other night," Hermione said as she sat down across from him on a chair. She'd invited Severus over to try and mend things between them and, surprisingly, he had agreed to talk.

"Hermione, there's no..." Severus began.

"No there is," Hermione interrupted him. "I showed up intoxicated..."

"Not through your own doing," Severus interrupted her.

"No, but still I proceeded to vomit at your place, make a general nuisance of myself, and cause you grief when there shouldn't have been any all, because I wanted to have it out with you."

He looked at her and said nothing.

"I realize now that my motivations for seeing you that night were...problematic," Hermione said as she poured him a cup of tea from the pot sitting on the table. "You can sleep with whomever you like, and so can I for that matter, and the fact that it happened on a mission...that we work together, is the only thing that is tricky about the situation."

"I agree," he said as he picked up the milk and poured some into his cup.

"Yes, we are two adults free to sleep with who we like, but we shouldn't do that on a mission, it was unprofessional and..."

"Agreed," Severus said.

"You're not going to say anything about...?"

"Why would I?" Severus asked. "So I can get sent home without pay again? Get reprimanded again? I think not."

"I realize it was the Polish agent who...divulged the relationship," Hermione sputtered.

"There was no relationship," Severus said as he took a sugar cube and dropped it in his tea. "I shouldn't have slept with her, and I am just as at fault as she."

"I assume you thought it would be kept quiet?" Hermione asked.

Severus raised an eyebrow and said nothing. In truth, he knew the woman would blab and he hoped Hermione would get the message and things would no longer be awkward between them. He hoped, really, that she would transfer out of his department so he wouldn't have to see her everyday.

"Well, now that I know you're not going to report...what happened, I feel much better," Hermione said with a sigh as she sat back into the chair with her tea in hand.

Severus nodded and stirred his own tea quietly. He liked the witch, too much for his own good, and he needed to distance himself from her for her own sake.

"So I assume from your nervousness about the night we spent together, you don't do that often?" Severus asked, his interest in her getting the better of him.

"Merlin no!" Hermione laughed. "I haven't...well, no."

Severus nodded and sat back mimicking her pose.

"I mean, I was with Ron for so long and, we only broke up a few months ago," Hermione nervously spoke. "Since then, well...I've not really..."

Severus nodded his head in understanding. She had an itch that needed scratching and he had been convenient.

"It's difficult, when everyone knows you..." Hermione started. "I'm sure you know that better then anyone. Especially in light of the Polish agent."

"Yes, well, there are those that wish to bed you so they can say they have," Severus said as he crossed one leg over the other. "Then there are others who you think are normal, but become quite...attached."

"So you don't have a witch you're seeing?" Hermione asked, interested.

"No, relationships are far too complicated for my liking," Severus said thoughtfully. "Everyone needs sex or intimacy if you will, but it doesn't mean there needs to be other...entanglements that accompany it."

"But aren't the...entanglements what make things wonderful?" Hermione asked

"I can have wonderful for a night, I don't need the argument about the bloody toothpaste or the toilet seat the next day," Severus surmised. "That is not 'wonderful' to me."

"True, but don't you want someone to do things with? See a film? Go to dinner with?" Hermione asked. "I actually miss that more then the sex."

"It must not have been that good," he quipped as he raised an eyebrow and looked at her.

Hermione blushed and said nothing.

"I do go places with witches," Severus explained. "It's not all about shagging, but that is the largest and, to me, most important part."

"I guess that's how wizards and witches are different," Hermione said softly. "I want both."

"And you're willing to live as a nun until that happens?" Severus asked, interested and not able to hold back the question.

"No, I...I don't know," Hermione said. "It's just that the one night stand, no offence, it seems very shallow. I don't want to re-learn a new person each time. I want to be with someone who knows me...that way, so I don't feel like I'm instructing."

Severus' laughter was deep and roaring. His voice filled the entire room.

"Do you know what I'm saying?" Hermione laughed with him.

"Yes, I do," Severus nodded as his laughter started to calm.

"Its ridiculous, isn't it?" She laughed at herself.

"No, if you find a wizard who's willing to engage with you with no strings attached..." Severus started then quickly realized the road he was going down; it was a dangerous path. "You'd have to both be in agreement that there was no relationship and that you were both still free to see and sleep with whomever you like."

Hermione's eyes met his and the room fell silent.

"Do you know a man who would do that?" Hermione asked, her voice dropped slightly and indicated that she was thinking what he was.

Severus was caught surprised for a moment then quickly recovered. He truly only thought his mind was going there, not hers.

"I do," he said as he swallowed hard and hoped she didn't notice.

"No strings," Hermione said as she sat forward and put down her tea. "And not on a mission as I wouldn't want work..."

"Agreed," he said, surprised that he went from wanting to be rid of her, to agreeing to regularly sleep with her all in a matter of a short while.

"And if it's not working for either of us..." Hermione started.

"We stop and the other can't hold it against us," Severus said.

"And at work, no awkwardness," Hermione said unsure of herself. "I know I might seem a little strange at first because I've never done something like this before but..."

"Neither have I," he admitted.

Hermione swallowed hard.

"Okay," she nodded.

"Okay," he nodded as well.

"Do we shake on it or...?" she smiled at him awkwardly.

Severus put down his tea cup and stood from his seat. For a moment Hermione thought he was going to tell her it was all a lark and leave. But, he put out his hand toward her instead with his palm up.

"I have a better idea," he said as she took his hand.

* * *

"I told Tobias some of the things I'd heard about you," Terry supplied. "I thought maybe it would...I don't know."

"You saw him often?" Severus asked.

"Every few years," Terry said as he wiped his brow. "Usually when he was in trouble."

"Trouble as in arrested?" Severus asked.

"Sometimes," Terry nodded. "Sometimes running from bookies, or people he owed money to."

Severus nodded.

"He spent a few years in jail for larceny," Terry explained. "I didn't find out until he was released and needed an address for his parole officer's notes."

"When was that?" Severus asked.

"About eighteen years ago," Terry said. "He was with Margie then."

"Margie?" Severus asked.

"A prostitute he ran with for a while," Terry explained. "Bridget was okay with him coming by but Margie was over the top."

"What happened to Margie?" Severus asked.

"One of her clients roughed her up real bad," Terry said. "Died in the hospital after a few days. Tobias was...he was a mess for a while."

"When wasn't he a mess?" Severus asked.

"True," Terry nodded.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note: Here's another one that I think you'll like. No one (so far) has taken me up on my challenge to give me a prompt in their review. I'll extend it to this chapter too. Please include (with your review) a prompt for a one-shot story. It can be a pre-scene, extended scene, or missing scene from this story that you would like to see. **

**As always, reviews are greatly appreciated. Enjoy!**

* * *

"So what else did Terry say?" Hermione asked as she pulled her nightie over her head.

"He said that Tobias probably still owes a lot of people money," Severus said as he took off his glasses and placed them on the bedside table.

"Does he know who these people are?" Hermione asked.

"No," Severus said as he shifted on the bed and slid under the covers.

"How...were things with him?" Hermione asked as she sat down next to him. "It's been a long time and..."

"Awkward," Severus sighed as he watched her open up a tube of cream and start to slather it over hers skin. "With good reason; he's been sort of dealing with Tobias all these years while I...haven't."

"Did he seem upset with you?" Hermione asked.

"Only at first, about Matilda, but then..."

"She was nice when we ran into her," Hermione interjected as she continued to rub in cream.

"Yes, but she's also part of this world," Severus explained and he watched her hand the tube of cream to him. He took it from her and placed some on his hands before rubbing it into her shoulders and back.

"True, but...she wasn't upset anymore so why would he be?" Hermione asked.

"Well," Severus sighed as he continued to rub lotion into her skin. "He was very protective of her."

"Yes, but surely..."

"He did understand," Severus interjected as he took his hands off her and handed her back her tube of cream.

"So are you meeting again?" Hermione asked as she capped the tube and put it on her bedside table.

"He wants to meet you and the children," Severus said. "Wants to have a garden party with some other relatives as well."

"And what do you think of that?" Hermione asked as she looked him in the eye.

"I think there's a lot of my relatives that may not want to see me," Severus said. "And others that would welcome the photo-op."

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know yet," Severus said with a sigh. "I told him I needed more time."

She have him a small smile and turned wandlessly turned out their lights.

They settled in bed together, he on his back with his arm around her shoulder, she with her head on his chest.

"You know," Hermione said in the dark. "There's no rule saying everything has to happen all at once."

"How do you mean?"

"I mean, right now you're dealing with Tobias and all the crap that comes with him," Hermione explained. "Maybe the rest of your family, the good and the bad, comes later."

They lay in silence for a long time. She could feel the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he thought about what she'd said. She felt the coarse hairs on his chest tickle her cheek and thought that this was the best place to sleep every night.

* * *

**15 Years Ago**

"I'll start the report in the morning," Hermione said as she hugged Tasha Kwan in the lobby of the hotel they were staying in. "You stay up and enjoy the victory, I'm bushed."

"You sure you can't stay?" Tasha asked as she looked back toward the group of agents celebrating behind them. It had been a successful international mission in China and multiple countries were celebrating the unearthing of an ancient tomb that seemed to be able to void all forms of magic.

"I'm sure," Hermione smiled at her. "Enjoy though."

She watched Tasha walk back towards the crowd and turned on her heel to leave. Just as she got to the elevator a man at the reception called her.

"Miss Granger?!" He yelled across the lobby.

"Yes?" Hermione asked as she turned, perplexed.

"I have a message for you," the man said as he gestured for her to come over.

Hermione abandoned the elevator and walked toward the desk. The man handed her and envelope and smiled apologetically.

"I was trying to reach you in your room, but just noticed a charge on your room from the bar," he said nervously. "I asked our bartender to locate you and you had just stepped out. I'm told it's urgent."

"Thank you," Hermione said as her eyes widened. She began to worry something had happened to her parents.

Hermione ripped open the envelope and saw familiar scratchy writing on the page. It was just a number. A room number.

Hermione smiled to herself and turned to the man at reception. "Thank you."

"I hope everything's okay, miss," he countered.

"It's fine," Hermione smiled back at him and left for the elevators.

She took the elevator to the twentieth floor and turned left to find the room. Knocking lightly on the door, she waited a few moments before it opened and Severus Snape was smiling at her from the other side.

"What are you doing here?" Hermione asked with a smile as she walked up to him and hugged him. The door closed behind her.

"My mission in Thailand finished early and I thought I'd stay the night here before returning home," he answered just before she planted a wet kiss on his lips.

"Did you hear what we found?" Hermione asked, excitedly, her arms still wrapped around his neck.

"Who hasn't?" He chuckled. "Congratulations."

"The runes are...Severus, I've never seen anything like them," Hermione smiled at him as she unfolded herself from his person and they walked further into the room.

"And it dispels all magic?" He asked, genuinely interested.

"It appears so," Hermione smiled at him as she sat on the end of the bed. "Imagine the possibilities, and what happened to make that tomb so...just imagine Severus."

"You're on cloud nine," he said as he sat down next to her. "Did I pull you from your celebrations? Because I could just..."

"No, I was leaving when they gave me your cryptic message," Hermione said as she placed a hand on his thigh. "You haven't surprised me like this in a while."

"Which is what makes it a surprise," he quipped. "If I did it all the time, you wouldn't be surprised."

"True," she smiled at him as she softly kissed his lips.

"I missed you," he said softly as he kissed down her neck.

Hermione tilted her head up to give him better access. "I missed you too."

"I can't sleep well when you're away for so long," he admitted as he stroked up her thigh and kissed along her jaw.

"We don't sleep together every night," Hermione reminded him. "We do have our own places."

"True, but I hope to convince you otherwise," he said softly as he started to undo the buttons on her shirt.

"Severus, you know as long as this is quiet, I can't live with you," she said as she ran her hand up the inside of his thigh. "I won't lie to my friends and not have them over."

"We can iron out the details after you have moved in," he said as he snapped her bra open at the front.

She laughed at his ploy. "Nice try."

He reached into her shirt and massaged one of her breasts.

She closed her eyes and gave into the erotic sensation of him fondling her.

"I think we should live together for a few months before we tell people," he whispered into her ear. "Get used to it ourselves first, then..."

"And you won't back out again? Because last time we were supposed to tell Harry..."

"I won't back out," he said softly.

"Promise?" She asked as she massaged his crotch.

"Promise," he whispered into her ear as his hand moved over to her other breast.

She smiled to herself. "In a couple of months, after I have at least trained the team that will be handling the runes research in China. Otherwise I'll be too pre-occupied with the tomb to do a proper move."

He pulled away from her and looked into her eyes. "Thank you."

She smiled back at him. "Are you sure 'wonderful' won't be compromised by toothpaste tubes and arguments over the trash?"

"Everything is wonderful with you, trash included," he said softly before he covered her mouth with his.

* * *

"I'm going to have to go to Cambodia in September," Severus sighed. "Maybe I can tell Terry to hold off on anything until I get back. Hopefully Tobias will have bit it by then."

Hermione lightly slapped his chest and rubbed her cheek against it.

"With or without the kids?" She asked.

"Without, in case it doesn't go so well," Severus said.

She nodded in agreement.

"When in September do you go?" She asked as she yawned.

"After your birthday is the plan," he said as he patted her hair.

"You don't have to do that," she said quietly.

"I want to," he said softly. "I hate being away, you know that. Especially when I miss things."

"I know," she sighed, her voice drowsy.

"Goodnight, my love," he said softly as he kissed the top of her head.

"Goodnight," Hermione yawned as she planted a soft kiss on his chest and drifted off to sleep.

Severus lie awake for not much longer afterwards thinking about how fortunate he was to have her in his life.


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note: This one is another short one but I've wanted to do some scenes with Severus and Miranda for a while, so...**

**Let me know what you think! Reviews are always welcome. I appreciate all the suggestions from the last couple of chapters-I am very tempted to use more than one! Thank you!**

* * *

"How come you're angry with your dad?" Miranda asked as she walked alongside her father. He was walking her to the neighbourhood recreation centre where she had tae kwon do class.

"He's not a very nice man, Miranda," Severus said trying to keep his comments vague.

"But he's your dad," Miranda implored.

"He's not the...the type of dad you or your friends have," Severus explained. "He didn't take me to tae kwon do for one."

Miranda smiled up at her father as he held her back at the curb until he checked for traffic.

"Did he have a bad dad?" Miranda asked.

"I...I don't know, he didn't say," Severus said, surprised by her question.

"Maybe he didn't know any better?" Miranda asked. Severus smiled down at his optimistic daughter.

"Sweetheart, someone raised under a rock would have known better," Severus explained.

They continued to walk in silence for another block.

"Would you like it if I didn't visit you when you were in the hospital?" Miranda said, breaking the silence as they approached the recreation centre.

"I would hate it darling," Severus admitted. "But have I done anything to warrant poor treatment from my daughter?"

Miranda smiled up at him. "You could make my bedtime a half hour later?"

"Nice try," Severus smiled down at her as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"I had to try," Miranda grinned up at him.

"And that's why you are going to be sorted a Slytherin," Severus chuckled as they walked in the front door to the recreation centre.

Miranda smiled up at her father. She loved it when it was just the two of them.

* * *

**10 Years Ago**

"No, no, no!" Miranda snapped as she banged her wooden toy on the tray of her high chair.

"Miranda, you need to listen to daddy and eat your carrots," Severus said calmly as he held the dish and spoon in his hands before her.

"Vrooom!" Theo said as he ran into the room with his arms outstretched like the wings of a plane.

"Theo! Get moving!" Hermione yelled from the front door.

"Vroom!" Theo yelled as he circled the dining room with his arms out again.

"Theo!" Hermione yelled again.

"Theo, go to mummy!" Severus said to his son.

"Vroom!" Theo said as he ran towards the front door.

"I need to get the groceries and pick up a parcel that came at the post," Hermione called to him.

"Okay love," Severus called back.

He heard Hermione shuffle Theo out the front door and the door shut behind them.

"Now, Miranda, the carrots," Severus said as he looked back toward his daughter.

"No, no no!" Miranda called anew as she continued to bang the toy.

"That's quite enough," Severus said as he snatched the toy from her hand and dropped it on the empty chair next to him.

The pained expression on his daughter's face didn't alter his determination to get her to eat her vegetables.

Severus scooped a spoonful of carrots and approached his daughter's face with it.

"No!" Miranda screamed and swatted at the spoon, knocking carrots everywhere.

"Love, that wasn't nice," Severus said as he wiped some carrots off his pants. "Let's try that again."

Miranda twisted her face from side to side avoiding the spoon and it's contents and forcing her father to retreat.

"Carrots are good for you," Severus implored, slightly annoyed.

Miranda clamped her mouth shut and crossed her arms over her chest defiantly.

Severus sat back in his chair and sighed.

Her cheeks were covered in carrots but she looked adorable.

"Allow daddy to clean your face," Severus said as he leaned forward with a prepared wet cloth.

Miranda acquiesced and allowed her face to be washed by her father.

"My love, would I give you something that could hurt you?" Severus asked kindly as he softly held his daughter's face in his hand.

Miranda looked at him seriously and shook her head in the negative.

"Then can you trust that just a few carrots would be good for you?" Severus asked.

Miranda looked at him quizzically.

"A few carrots for daddy?" Severus asked kindly.

Miranda pouted.

"Please?" Severus asked softly.

Miranda opened her mouth, reluctantly.

Severus slowly picked up the bowl and spooned some carrots onto it and brought it toward Miranda. She leaned back in her chair and far away from the spoonful of carrots.

"Miranda," Severus said kindly.

She finally leaned forward and took the carrots.

"Good girl!" Severus cheered, brightly. "Another?"

Miranda reluctantly nodded her head in the affirmative.

Severus smiled and gave her another spoonful.

Miranda ate it as well.

Severus continued to spoon a few more times before Miranda leaned back and shook her head in the negative.

"Fine," Severus said as he placed the bowl down. "You did very well my darling."

Miranda smiled back at him, happy she had pleased her father.

Severus leaned forward and cleaned her face gently then removed her bib.

"Daddy loves you Miranda," Severus said as he reached toward her and lifted her from her chair.

"I love you, daddy," Miranda said as she eagerly went to him and hugged his neck.

Severus smiled as his daughter and threw her up in the air before catching her.

She giggled as she fell back into his warm embrace.

"Okay, let's get you in the bath," Severus said as they strolled from the room.

* * *

"You are Miranda's dad," a woman said as she approached Severus' chair.

"I'm sorry?" Severus asked the woman looming over him.

"Sorry," the woman apologized as she sat next to him. "The name Snape isn't very common but..."

"You know Miranda?" Severus asked, trying to get to the bottom of the issue.

"Well yes, my daughter Elsie is in her class," the woman said as she pointed to the group of children practising tae kwon do. "She's the one with the red braid."

Severus nodded, still not sure where this conversation was going. "She seems talented."

"It's good exercise," the woman agreed with a nod.

Severus waited for the woman to further explain.

"I work at St Pancreas Hospital," the woman said by way of explanation. "I was in the same ward as your father. I saw you come in once."

"Oh," Severus sighed as he re-crossed his legs.

"He was transferred to palliative care," the woman said. "I'm so sorry."

"Thank you," Severus said, saying what he knew was expected. "I'm sorry he was such a...handful while there."

"They aren't themselves at the end," the woman said compassionately.

"No, he was still quite himself," Severus said.

"Oh," the woman said uncomfortably.

Severus sat in silence with her shifting next to him for quite some time.

"Well, I guess we don't get to choose our family," the woman finally said.

"No, we do not," Severus agreed.

"But you've done well with Miranda, she's quite wonderful," the woman said.

"Thank you," Severus said with a slight smile. "She's her mother's daughter."


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note: This flashback in this chapter is based on mama123's challenge win (I was going to post it separate but it worked within the piece itself). **

**She wanted something where Hermione teased Severus under the table at a meeting and he could do nothing about it. Unfortunately, I've established that Hermione is very concerned about anything inappropriate happening on company time, so I had to tweak it a little. I hope you still like it mama123 as it meets your angst/humour requirements but it doesn't happen in the office...**

**Also, this is the longest chapter of the story so far-I was obviously quite inspired by her idea!**

**Please let me know what you think! Reviews are always welcome!**

* * *

"How's work going Severus?" Harry asked as they made their way to the bar to order drinks.

"The usual bureaucracy of idiots telling me how to run the department," Severus said over his shoulder as he continued forward into the crowded area.

"Did you get the memo about the new protocol breach procedures?" Harry asked.

"Ridiculous," Severus scoffed. "It would take an entire day to deal with the smallest of issues."

"I agree!" Harry said emphatically as they finally reached the bar. "One Auror misfires a spell that does no damage, and I'm bogged down in meetings and paperwork for hours."

"Or, one of my agents steps on the toes of the local agency and...well, you see my point," Severus said as he motioned for the bartender.

"Exactly," Harry said as he took out his wallet. "Wilson Monroe wants our solve rate up but then ties my hands."

"One thing I have learned," Severus began. "Is to do what they want but, if I see no point to it, do it as minimally as possible. Give short explanations, call the employee in and don't even have them sit, ask one question and tell them to leave, that way you have fulfilled the interview component."

"That's brilliant, Severus!" Harry lighted.

"I think I could clear an issue in about an hour if done that way," Severus explained. "It's an hour I would rather not waste but..."

"Who the hell wants Wilson bloody Monroe droning in their office for an afternoon long meeting about protocols and departmental resources." Harry laughed.

"Exactly," Severus said as the barman approached.

"Two Bordeaux's and two pints of lager," Severus said.

"Hermione told me about your father being around," Harry said sheepishly.

Severus merely nodded.

"You know, I could get an Auror to misfire a spell at his palliative care facility," Harry quipped.

Severus laughed at his joke. "He's not worth the paperwork."

"Sorry he's, you know, around and causing you and Mione so much grief," Harry said sympathetically.

Severus looked at his companion and was grateful. He didn't have many friends in his life, but surprisingly, Harry Potter had become one of them.

"Thank you," Severus said quietly. "He won't be around for long, thankfully."

The barman showed up and placed their drink order in front of them. Harry quickly dropped some galleons and ignored Severus' dirty look.

"It's our celebration tonight, so just put your wallet away," Harry said with a smirk as he grabbed the lagers and turned away from the bar.

Severus picked up the wine glasses and followed his friend to their wives waiting near the front door of the establishment.

* * *

**16 Years Ago**

Severus Snape sat grinding his teeth and nursing his scotch in a pub surrounded by workmates and loud Celtic music.

"...and then he said 'who did you think it was?'" Bernadette said loudly as the entire table burst out into a fit of laughter at her joke.

"Hillarious!" Quentin Kings laughed as he banged his hand on the table. He had a habit of doing that a lot and the drinks shook and spilled with every ridiculous smack.

"Get it Severus?" Bernadette said as she leaned into his shoulder. He could smell the alcohol on her breath.

"Yes, wonderful," Severus nodded back absently.

His mind was not on the jokes being shared around the table but on Hermione gyrating with several others on the dance floor. She'd had too much to drink and, as much as he wanted to leave the company of those around him, he couldn't leave her alone in that state. Especially with bloody Quentin Kings looking at her the way he was.

"I think it's time to dance again," Quentin said as he shoved back his chair. "Hermione and Estelle look awfully lonely out there now that those two blokes have gone for drinks."

"Notice he waited for the two handsome blokes to leave first," Bernadette joked.

"Just waiting for the right opportunity," Quentin said with a scoff as he straightened his shoulders and walked toward the dance floor.

"He hasn't got a chance," Bernadette said before she took another drink.

"Why do you say that?" Doris asked, her voice slightly slurred

"Our Hermione is seeing someone," Bernadette said as she waved over the waitress. "She's being very secretive about it."

"How do you know?" Doris asked, interested.

"There have been some slip ups," Bernadette said mysteriously.

Severus' ears perked up; what slip ups?

"She said 'we' a few times, like 'we ordered chinese' or 'we've been following this miniseries' or 'we liked the film but...'"

"Have you asked her?" Marlie asked as she joined the conversation.

"Of course I bloody have!" Bernadette joked. "What kind of friend would I be if I hadn't?"

"And?" Marlie asked.

"And she said she doesn't want to speak about it," Bernadette said. "I think he might be married."

"Married?!" Doris asked, shocked. "Our Hermione?!"

"Why else would she be so secretive?" Bernadette asked.

The other women nodded.

"Maybe it's just her dirty little secret?" Nelson added to the conversation. "You know, primal sex and nothing more."

"You're mind would go there," Bernadette dismissed him.

"Well, it's just as possible as a married bloke," Nelson defended himself.

Severus shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"If it's just that, then why the TV watching, and the chinese and the movies?" Doris supplied. "If it's just dirty sex then there wouldn't be that."

The other women at the table nodded.

"Do you think it's Harry Potter?" Marlie almost whispered.

Severus practically spit out the scotch he had just taken a sip of.

"Is this one mine?" Hermione asked, suddenly at his side. He hadn't noticed she had left the dance floor he was so caught up in the conversation.

"Mione," Doris said a little to animatedly. "Are you having fun?"

"I'm knackered," Hermione said as she sat down heavily on the bench next to Severus.

"You seem to be enjoying the dancing," Severus noted, a slight edge to his voice.

"I am," she said as she narrowed her eyes at him. "Those blokes were Aurors; lovely fellows."

"Do you know them?" Doris asked, her neck craning to find them in the pub.

"Just through Harry," Hermione admitted as she reached for her drink.

"Through Harry?" Marlie said as she made eyes at the other women. "You see much of him?"

"Usually once a week, sometimes more," Hermione said innocently as the women held back snickers.

"That often?" Doris asked with a snicker.

"Ignore them," Bernadette supplied.

"I was supposed to go out to dinner with him tonight after this, but my plans got cancelled." Hermione said pointedly as she glanced at Severus.

"You cancelled to stay here?" Bernadette asked, trying to ignore her drunk friends snickering.

"We were supposed to meet with someone else, but he cancelled," Hermione said as she dropped her hand onto Severus' thigh and squeezed it.

He jumped slightly but no one at the table seemed to notice.

"Another fellow?" Nelson scoffed.

Severus knew exactly where all their drunk dirty minds were going but the conversation had become an out of control locomotive and, with her hand on his thigh under the table, he had a hard time focusing.

"Yes, but he had a change of heart, much to my disappointment," Hermione said sadly.

Nelson then burst out laughing and was soon joined by Doris and Marlie.

"What's so funny?" Hermione asked.

"They are just being idiots," Severus supplied.

Hermione watched as Bernadette leaned over to speak with her workmates.

"I guess it's a table of idiots tonight," Hermione muttered under her breath just loud enough for Severus to hear.

He knew she was mad at him, but hadn't thought she would act out in this manner. Tonight they were supposed to meet with Harry Potter, together, as a couple. They had been in a relationship for three years at this point and Hermione was sick of hiding it from her friends.

What had started out as a sexual partnership had quickly moved into exclusivity, then dates, then plans, then weekends away, and before he knew it Severus was in a committed relationship. He was also deliriously happy; but he was sacred shitless of going public. There was something special about the secrecy of it all and, he feared, once they stepped out of that, things would get fucked up quickly.

Things, he surmised, were perfect between the two of them as they were. Why, gods why, did they have to mess with perfection?

So, he had backed out of the dinner at the last minute, pissed her off, and had sat the night here keeping guard over her and cursing himself for being so fucking complicated.

"Are you seeing someone?" Quentin asked when he realized what Bernadette was chastising their friends about.

"I...I am," Hermione said, not looking at Severus.

"Seriously?" Quentin asked.

"I thought so," Hermione said as she shifted in her seat. "But maybe I'm more serious then he is."

Severus swallowed hard next to her.

"He's not treating you well?" Severus asked, boldly.

Hermione turned and looked at him wide-eyed.

"I love him very much," Hermione said honestly. "But he and I possibly don't want the same future."

"Is he married?" Marlie asked, not able to hold back any longer.

"No," Hermione said as she patted his leg. "But he doesn't want to be either, and he definitely doesn't want kids."

"No babies?" Doris asked, surprised.

Hermione nodded her head in the negative.

"Maybe he has good reasons," Severus supplied.

"Or maybe he's just saying that now?" Bernadette offered.

"No, he means it," Hermione said sadly. "But, the truth is, I don't know if I want them either but..."

"You don't want the door closed," Doris finished for her.

Hermione gave a tight-lipped smile.

"He's very private," Hermione said as she drew a figure eight on his thigh. "It's hard getting him around my friends, but I know he'd like them if he just gave them a chance."

"Sounds like more trouble then he's worth," Quentin surmised.

Heads around the table nodded in agreement. Severus shifted in his seat but Hermione firmly grabbed his thigh.

"Maybe it's time to move on?" Bernadette asked. "If he's not making you happy..."

"But he is," Hermione smiled at them, her face glowing. "He makes me very happy."

"It doesn't sound like it," Doris said truthfully.

"I've painted a bad picture of him," Hermione said as she shifted slightly closer to Severus. "He's...he's also very funny, thoughtful and sweet."

"Thoughtful and sweet doesn't always mean..." Quentin started.

Severus glared at him; Quentin really was trying to get in Hermione's pants. He'd have to make sure he got assigned with Quentin next so he could miscast a spell or two.

"He's also dead sexy," Hermione said as her hand moved up and covered his crotch. Severus jumped and grabbed the table in front of him.

"Leg cramp," Severus said as he leaned down and pretended to rub his leg while he serendipitously removed her hand from his crotch.

"But does he feel the same about you?" Bernadette asked, concerned.

Severus sat back up again, his 'cramp' apparently gone. He felt Hermione's hand immediately land back on his crotch and squeeze.

"He tells me he loves me in everything he does," Hermione said softly. "He's just scared, I know that, but I wish I could just reassure him that it will all be okay, that I'll be with him always. I just don't think he has as much faith in us as I do. I'm afraid his fear will win."

"That's awful," Bernadette said as she leaned forward.

Hermione gave Bernadette a sad smile. Severus felt her hand lift off his crotch and drop onto her lap.

"Enough sad talk!" Quentin said with a flourish. "Come dance Mione!"

Hermione nodded in the negative. "I have to go to the loo and I should get going."

"Mione, no!" Bernadette called.

"I need to get home," Hermione said as she shifted from the bench.

"I can walk you," Quentin offered.

Hermione's eyes shifted to Severus quickly and then back at Quentin.

"I'll just floo," Hermione said as she patted his shoulder. "But thanks anyways."

Quentin nodded and Hermione wished everyone goodnight before she walked toward the washroom.

Severus sat at the table feeling like a complete heel. That woman loved him with all her heart; she was willing to give up marriage and children for him, but he allowed his fear to keep him from going to dinner with Harry bloody Potter. He should be shouting that he loved her from the rooftops, not allowing others to speculate that she was shagging her best friend.

"I better get going too," Marlie said as she drank the last of her appletini.

"Yes, it is getting on," Severus said as he made a cursory glance at his watch.

"Goodnight Severus," they called from the table as he got up to leave. He merely nodded his head and left.

He saw her then, down the hallway to the washrooms on her mobile talking with someone. Probably Harry, reassuring him that all was fine even though she'd promised to introduce him to her bloke tonight.

Her eyes caught his and she quickly looked away. She disconnected and walked to the fireplace where she floo'd to her apartment. Severus watched Marlie leave after her and then he stepped forward and quickly looked around to make sure no one was paying attention. He said Hermione's address and stepped into the flames.

* * *

"You aren't exposing the children..." Ginny said after she heard about the conversation between Tobias and Hermione.

"Of course not," Severus and Hermione answered together.

"Mione, you've got courage, I'll give you that," Harry said as he tipped his glass to her.

"I said what needed to be said," Hermione said as she placed a hand on Severus' thigh and gently squeezed it. "But tonight's not about us..."

Hermione lifted her glass and motioned for the others to do that same.

"To Harry and Ginny, finally out of diapers!" Hermione said proudly.

They all laughed and clinked glasses.

"Some people say this change breaks their heart...the end of babies and such," Ginny said after she took a drink. "But I couldn't be more thrilled. If I could have lit the bloody diaper genie on fire and danced around it I would have."

"At least you live in a magical community," Severus said. "No one bats and eye when Reginald walks down the street in his housecoat and roman helmet."

Everyone laughed at his joke.

"True," Ginny laughed.

"Happy un-babyhood then!" Hermione cheered.


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Note: Here's the latest chapter. Thanks to everyone for the prompts! Some of you know me so well, you actually had prompts there that I already had in my head to use in the story! Bravo! **

**I quote the novels **_**Otto of the Silver Hand**_** by Howard Pyle and **_**William Goldman's The Princess Bride**_** by William Goldman in this chapter. Both novels were chosen quite purposefully, so if anyone wants to look up the books I would recommend that. **

**I know many of you want the continuation of the last flashback but, we are going into Death Eater and childhood territory this time. Enjoy!**

**Let me know what you think!**

* * *

"So let's talk about your time as a Death Eater?" Xavier Young began as Severus started to sit down in a chair.

"Getting right to the point today, I see," Severus said as he sat back in the chair and crossed one long leg over the other.

"I sense that's what you appreciate about these appointments, am I right?" Xavier asked.

"You are," Severus nodded. This was his fourth visit with Xavier.

"Good!" Xavier said animatedly. "You joined not long after leaving Hogwarts?"

Severus nodded in the affirmative.

"At the behest of Lucius Malfoy?" Xavier asked.

"I did," Severus explained.

"Were you trying to please him?" Xavier asked.

"I was trying to survive," Severus said.

"Yes, but you could have survived without joining the Death Eaters; gotten a job clearing tables at The Three Broomsticks, for instance," Xavier pushed.

"True," Severus agreed.

"But Lucius made you believe you were worth more than that?" Xavier asked.

"He did," Severus agreed.

"How?" Xavier asked.

"I'm sorry?" Severus asked.

"How did he make you believe you were above menial work? You were raised poor, with a labourer for a father, it was almost natural for you to not feel any work was beneath you..."

"I think Lucius first took me on as a charitable project," Severus said thoughtfully.

"A rich Slytherin doing charity work? A little odd, don't you think?" Xavier asked.

"I'm not sure what you're getting at," Severus said with a furrowed brow.

"Why would Lucius take any interest in you?" Xavier asked.

"I'm not sure," Severus said.

"Wasn't Lucius Malfoy a collector? I heard he had priceless works of art installed in his room at Hogwarts while a student," Xavier said conversationally.

"He did," Severus chuckled.

"So why would he collect you?" Xavier asked.

Severus looked at him perplexed. He'd heard the words 'befriended' and 'used' in relation to his friendship with Lucius, but never 'collected'.

"You were part of his collection were you not?" Xavier asked him. "Just like his priceless pieces of artwork, you were priceless as well."

Severus looked at Xavier confused.

"Did Lucius Malfoy see something in you that no one else did?" Xavier started. "That, even from an early age, he knew there was greatness in you?"

"That's going a little overboard is it not?" Severus scoffed as he re-crossed his legs. "We were kids and he..."

"Made you feel important for the first time in your life; accepted. He knew you were poor, that your father was an abusive drunk, you had the bruises and scars to prove it, but yet...he collected you."

Severus cleared his throat. The wheels in his head were spinning out of control.

"You joined the Death Eaters because for the first time in your life you were a person of importance," Xavier said. "It's nothing to be ashamed of."

Severus cleared his throat.

"But you were important because Lucius recognized that...potential in you," Xavier extended the argument. "He knew you'd be great even before you did, and, he wanted you on his side."

"That's preposterous, how could he..."

"A lifetime of being taught to recognize rare and valuable things, or, in your case, people," Xavier explained.

"So you are proposing a teenager predicted that I would be instrumental in the war?" Severus scoffed.

"I'm stating it, not proposing it Severus," Xavier said smugly. "Even before Dumbledore saw it, Lucius Malfoy knew your potential and wanted to harness it. He just miscalculated one aspect of your personality."

"What's that?" Severus asked.

"That a boy brought up in hatred and cruelty still had a huge capacity to love," Xavier said as he reached for his cup of tea.

* * *

**54 Years Ago**

Severus snuggled into his mother's frame and listened to her sweet voice as she read their latest book _Otto of the Silver Hand. _He loved times like these, when his father was away, the fire had wood, and there was food on the stove. Secretly, he wished for his father to never return, and instead just send money to him and his mother.

"'It may be,' said he, 'that the wisdom of little children flies higher than our heavy wits can follow.'" Read his mother softly.

"Why would he say that?" Severus interrupted. "Children can't be smarter then adults."

Eileen Snape closed the book on her lap and looked down at her son. He was long and gangly at eight and they barely fit into the chair together. Soon, he wouldn't fit there at all.

"Because, love," she said as she stroked his hair. "Children sometimes see things clearer then adults, their brains are not muddled with other details."

"Like what?" Severus asked.

She smiled down at her son. He was always so full of questions, it was taxing just spending some days with him for the sheer brain power required to keep up with him.

"Like the man at the bakery," Eileen explained. "He likes to bake French pastries, but no one around here will buy them, so he bakes plain bread. His brain is muddled by thoughts of making a living and keeping his customers happy. A child would just bake what they like, and, maybe they'd lose customers or maybe we'd all start to like French pastries."

She smiled down at him and he started to chuckle.

"You see?" She chuckled with him.

Severus nodded his head and they sat in silence for a while.

"Mummy, why don't we leave father?" Severus asked, boldly.

"Severus," Eileen hissed as she looked anxiously around the room.

"He won't be home for days," Severus said matter-of-factly, trying to calm his mother's nerves.

"You must never say that aloud," she chastised.

"But he hurts us," Severus explained. "I don't even think he likes us."

"Severus, your father is a complicated man and..."

"We could live with Aunt Esther," Severus said. "She told you that one time she came to visit, that we could always..."

"No, Severus," Eileen said harshly.

"But..." Severus began.

"No," Eileen said as she placed her hands on his waist and got him to stand. "Time to get ready for bed."

Severus looked at his mother confused. She only seemed happy when it was just the two of them yet, she wouldn't leave his father. Severus decided that the book was right; children were smarter then adults because he would have run away with his mother this instant and never looked back.

* * *

Severus sat on the end of his daughter's bed and read in the dim light as she snuggled under her covers and listened to his every word.

"' Enough about my beauty." Buttercup said. "Everybody always talks about how beautiful I am. I've got a mind, Westley. Talk about that.'" Severus read.

Severus started to chuckle at the line.

"What's so funny?" Miranda asked with a smile on her face.

"Just that she's a beautiful woman but wants everyone to know she has a brain as well," Severus said. "That it was hard back then for women to be recognized for their intelligence."

Miranda sat up slightly and looked at her father perplexed. "Why wouldn't they be?"

Severus sighed and closed the book; this was going to be a longer conversation.

"Historically, women have been viewed as lesser then men," Severus began.

"How..." Miranda started.

"Not that it was right," Severus said interrupting her before she could get started. "But unfortunately, that is how it was."

"But why?" Miranda asked.

"A bunch of scientists pointed out ridiculous attributes that became connections, then assumptions, then law then..."

"I'm sorry?" Miranda asked.

"Someone, a long time ago, a man, said that women had smaller brains, weaker muscles, weaker nervous systems, that sort of thing. Wizards also prophesied that women were weaker or more unstable magically. They were wrong, of course, but for years their beliefs were used to create laws that kept women subordinate."

"Subord...?" Miranda asked.

"Lower, or lesser in the eyes of society," Severus explained. "They were not legal people for the longest time, couldn't vote, even attend universities or..."

"Wait, when was this?" Miranda asked.

"Unfortunately, as the history of time goes, until very recently," Severus explained. "It is still a belief you hear sometimes amongst some wizards."

Miranda looked at him in disbelief. Her mother worked, as did her father. Her father never treated her mother as less than...anything. Her mother was regarded in the war and afterwards as one of the great minds of the wizarding world. Of her friends, no ones parents seemed to have these odd ideas. The concept that because she was a girl, she was less of a real person then her brother was ridiculous.

"So some people think that beautiful girls can't be smart?" Miranda asked with a yawn.

"Stupid people might think that," Severus said as he rose from her bed. "But anyone who knows anything realizes that can't be true. Women and men can be equally smart, and have just as much of a say in their lives and laws and all other matters."

"Mummy's beautiful and smart," Miranda said as she shifted under the covers.

"Your mother is the most beautiful women I know, and she is scary smart," Severus said as he turned out the light and leaned over to kiss her forehead. "As are you, my love."

Miranda smiled up at her father.

"Good night, sweetheart," Severus said as he turned from the room.

"Daddy," Miranda called from the heap of blankets on her bed.

"Yes, love?" Severus asked.

"Do boys like smart girls?" Miranda asked.

Severus swallowed hard. First Theo buying cologne, and now Miranda asking about boys.

"They love them, my darling," he said softly.

"Thanks dad," Miranda yawned.

Severus paused a moment and looked at the mound that was his daughter snuggled in her bed, her intelligence was fierce and her beauty incomparable; his daughter was going to be a force to be reckoned with at Hogwarts this fall. He smiled to himself before he closed her door.


	19. Chapter 19

**Author's Note: In this chapter we explore the Malfoys a little. Someone pointed out in a review that Tobias is not a character as much as a catalyst and I think that's an awesome way of describing his purpose in this story. Severus is digging deep. **

**I am thoroughly enjoying writing this story and I soooo appreciate your support of my little project. Please let me know what you think! Reviews are always appreciated.**

* * *

"You stupid bastard," Severus said to the tomb that stood before him. He was in the Somme region of France visiting the grave of Lucius Malfoy.

Xavier thought he needed 'closure' and Severus, despite not really believing him, needed a day away in France. He and Hermione had argued last night about telling the children more about Tobias. She thought Severus should share some edited versions of stories from his youth and some pictures of his parents as the children had been asking about him quite a lot and were off to school in a few days. He disagreed. They had gone to bed angry, with him eventually retiring to the living room when he realized neither of them was able to fall asleep with the tension in the room.

He hated arguing with his wife. In truth, it happened rarely. Sure they argued over silly things, politics, renovations, household duties...but real arguments very rarely happened. Usually they agreed, or he gave in. If his Death Eater friends heard him say that he acquiesced to his muggle born wife just to keep the peace, they'd roll in their graves. Speaking of which...

"Xavier said you collected me," Severus spoke again. "I had never thought to look at it that way but...maybe you did. You certainly honed my talents, paying for my apprenticeship and buying me my supplies...in truth I thought you were trying to bed me for a while, but fortunately for me that wasn't the case."

Severus chuckled to himself. He was so enamoured with Lucius' power and money back then he may have agreed to sleep with him just to not lose him as a friend. How different his life would have been.

"You were my friend though, despite it all," Severus said softly. "I should have visited you in Azkaban. Maybe...maybe it would have..."

He couldn't continue. Xavier was right. In his gut he knew he felt a tremendous amount of guilt about Lucius killing himself. They were friends, despite his role in the war, and he had distanced himself from Lucius during the trial out of the need for self preservation. There were still rumours, whispers back then that he was not really a spy, that he was just playing everyone. In truth, Severus believed he was one idiotic official away from Azkaban himself for years after he had been exonerated.

"Maybe it was smarter to kill yourself," Severus surmised sadly. "A lifetime spent there is not a life at all."

Severus looked at the overgrown shrubbery in front of the tomb. Not many Malfoys were left to keep it up.

"I'm sorry," Severus finally said as he placed a hand on the cold stone before him. "I betrayed you and whatever the reason, whatever the cause, it was still a betrayal. I saw how it hurt you, despite the grand show you put on. I saw, Lucius."

Severus bowed his head and closed his eyes for a few minutes. He did feel better. Bloody Xavier Young was right and that unnerved him.

"Severus?" A voice asked from behind him.

Severus raised his head and turned to see the grey eyes of his godson looking at him.

* * *

**19 Years Ago**

"What could you have done?" Hermione asked as she chopped peppers on her cutting board.

"Testify on his behalf?" Severus said as he said as he lifted his scotch to his mouth and downed it quickly.

"You were barely cleared yourself, you couldn't have..."

"But I was cleared," Severus said as he reached for the bottle and poured himself another drink.

"And that could have been reversed just as quickly," Hermione said as she turned and dropped all the peppers into a sizzling pan.

"So I deserved freedom and he didn't?" Severus asked, his voice loud.

"Yes," Hermione said as she met his eyes. "You risked your life for our side, he didn't."

"It's that simple, is it?" He asked before he downed the drink in his hand.

"Why can't it be?" Hermione asked as she eyed his empty glass. She'd been wanting to say something to him about his drinking but didn't know how to broach the subject. They had been sleeping together for a month and she had started to notice his drinking habits outside of work were a little extreme.

"Your Gryffindor nature is simplifying a complicated ethical dilemma," Severus said as he took the cap off the scotch and poured another drink.

"You only enjoy ethical discussions when you are drunk," Hermione said as she met his eyes.

He paused mid glass raise and looked at her. Knowing she thought he'd had too much to drink, he raised the glass to his lips and drank it anyways.

"Does the Scotch help you see things more clearly or blur the bits you want to forget about?" Hermione challenged him.

"What do you bloody care what I do with my own time?" Severus asked.

"I see you are avoiding things and hurting yourself," Hermione said as she put down the knife she was cutting spring onions with.

"We're not in a relationship," he reminded her. "We are both free to live as we choose outside of the bedroom."

"And despite that, here you are," she said as she reminded him of their dinner together tonight.

"You invited me," Severus reminded her.

"And you were free to say no, what does that say about you?" Hermione concluded.

"I'm..." he stammered as he looked around for his jacket. "Have a nice dinner, Hermione."

"So you're running away?" She asked, her voice raised.

"No, I'm simply leaving," he said as he thrust his arms into his jacket. "When you want to have sex, you call me."

"Thanks, that's just lovely," she said, sarcastically.

"That's what this is!" He snapped as he looked at her pointedly.

"If that's what this is," Hermione said as she walked toward him, never taking her eyes off him. "And this is nothing more then fucking, why do you care what I think of you?"

His eyebrows knitted as he stood before her.

"We are also friends Severus," she explained. "And friends don't want their friends stumbling through life in a drunken stupor. You have crap in your life you need to deal with for your own good, and the bottom of a bottle doesn't make it any clearer."

"You're my friend?" Severus asked a bit of sneer in his voice.

"I am," Hermione said defiantly.

"Then let me tell you, from one friend to another, that this is none of your fucking business," Severus said menacingly.

The hurt look that passed over her face couldn't be ignored but the tension in the air could be cut with a knife. He wanted her more right now then he ever had.

Severus leaned forward and captured her lips in a searing kiss that, at first startled her, then drew her in. He tore at her shirt and freed her breasts, which, he had noticed earlier were braless beneath her shirt. She gasped at his bold act and in turn reached for his belt and started to undo it with fumbling fingers.

His hands roamed up her skirt to discover a tiny pair of underpants underneath it; probably had been meant for an enticement after dinner. He kissed her unrelentingly and walked her backwards until she was pinned against the brick wall of her apartment. Her gasps and moans were getting louder as his finger circled then inserted itself into her warm, wet walls. Severus could smell her desire and he hitched her up in front of him and cast a small levitation charm to help with the weight.

She'd freed his cock at this point and his pants were pooled on the floor around his feet. He tore at her panties and they came apart in his hands and slid down one of her legs. She was panting above him now and expecting him to take her when he leaned forward and sucked hard on her right nipple.

"Owww!" She gasped in both pain and pleasure as she scratched at his shoulder. Her nails were going to leave a mark despite the clothing.

Then, just as he started to let up on her nipple he slid inside of her, forcefully and completely. He fucked her hard up against the brick wall of her apartment as she was pinned above him like a butterfly preserved.

She gasped and called out his name as they came together and then, moments later, slid, ungracefully, down the wall and planted her feet on the floor before him. He leaned his head against the wall behind her and panted, trying to get his breath back. Their sex life this last month had been robust, but this was only the second time it had been this forceful. He felt her breasts pressed against his shirt and her skirt scratching against his sweaty bare legs.

"The peppers!" Hermione suddenly yelled as they both turned their heads to the side and saw smoke rising from the stove.

"Shit!" He said as he took a step forward and, realizing his pants were about his ankles started to fall. Hermione managed a quick cushioning charm to soften his fall but he still landed gracelessly on the floor with his pants about his ankles.

She ran past him topless and with her panties trailing on her one ankle and lifted the pan from the element and threw it in the sink before turning off the burner and running cold water over the mess.

Severus recovered and stood watching her do all this while he hauled up his pants and quickly did them up before joining her.

"I'm sorry," he said truthfully as he joined her in the kitchen.

"It's fine, it's just...dinner's a mess," Hermione said as she looked up at him.

"I'll go to the curry place at the corner," Severus offered as he looked at her disappointed face.

She nodded her head in the affirmative and he leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

That night they had curry on the couch and he stayed over and just slept in her bed for the first time. After that, she noticed he also drank far less.

* * *

"The spell is smart," Severus said as he sat back in his chair at the restaurant and assessed his godson.

"There were vandals...kids playing pranks," Draco explained. "The cemetary can only do so much, so I spelled it to alert me whenever it was touched."

"I'm sorry to have dragged you from your home, had I known..." Severus started.

"No, it's good seeing you," Draco said thoughtfully. "It's been a long time."

"I should have tried harder to stay in contact," Severus started.

"No, I was very clear I wanted nothing to do with you," Draco said. "Thank you for respecting that."

Severus just nodded his head in the affirmative.

"I was really angry back then," Draco said. "I said some things..."

"You had every right to say them," Severus interrupted.

"Maybe," Draco said as he looked off into the distance. "Maybe not."

Severus waited for his godson to continue.

"I think I was angry because I wished he'd done what you had," Draco started. "I wanted him to be as brave as you were, but he wasn't."

Severus looked at Draco confused.

"There were points, times, when he wasn't so happy with what the Dark Lord was doing," Draco said. "He had opportunities to turn, to spy and do what you did, but he didn't take them."

Severus was shocked by Draco's admission.

"Kingsley approached him," Draco continued. "He didn't take the offer. If he had..."

"He could have been dead years before," Severus supplied. "There are no guarantees when you live the life of a spy. I was just...fortunate."

Draco nodded in agreement.

"Draco your father made the choices he made because he had a family he needed to stay alive for," Severus said as he leaned forward. "My choice was far easier because I had no one."

"He did make a different choice in the end though, didn't he?" Draco said as he met Severus' eyes.

"I'm sorry for that," Severus said softly. "I think that had I testified on his behalf..."

"They would have still sent him to Azkaban," Draco said. "Your testimony wouldn't have changed that outcome and he could never have lived there for the rest of his days."

Severus nodded in agreement, Lucius would not have done well in prison.

"I had the wand delivered to him," Draco confessed.

"I wondered how," Severus started. "I just assumed he had an inside man."

"He told me what he wanted to do if the verdict came back guilty," Draco explained. "He told me, and I helped him."

"Then you did as any good son would; you helped your father," Severus said kindly.

Draco nodded and looked away.


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's Note: This is a short one, but it moves my present plot along and is necessary for some development (it also fit a little with Petite Mule's prompt). Please let me know what you think. I love your reviews and totally appreciate your support of my story. **

**For the last challenge I asked you to put a prompt in with your review. Some of them are things I had already planned, but the one I didn't think of and thought would work well in the story is from theamazingliza. So, expect to see that one up in the next few chapters.**

**When we get closer to 250 reviews I'll issue another challenge-I'm quite liking these.**

**Let me know what you think!**

* * *

"Severus, can you take Miranda to Potages?" Hermione asked her husband as they made their way through the bustling streets of Diagon Alley.

"I want to go to Flourish and Blotts with you!" Miranda complained.

"It's just books," Theo said.

"Let's just go together," Severus sighed, knowing his daughter would not be happy unless she helped choose all the items for her first year.

"Fine," Hermione huffed. She was not feeling well today and, although she tried to be in a good mood, to be excited about this special day, all she wanted to do was crawl into a bed and sleep.

"Are you alright?" Severus asked as he placed a hand between her shoulder blades.

"Just tired," Hermione said as she closed her eyes briefly. "I can't shake this flu. It keeps going away and coming back."

"Why don't you see a mediwitch? See if this is something that needs a potion or..."

"After the kids are back at school," Hermione smiled up at him.

"Mum! Do you have my list?!" Miranda yelled to her mother.

"Right here, darling," Hermione said as she lifted a piece of parchment from her bag and handed it to her daughter.

* * *

**15 Years Ago**

"How has your stomach been Mrs Snape?" Mediwitch Griffin said as she walked into the exam room.

"Better," Hermione said with a smile from her place on a chair.

"Unless you count bizarre food combinations," Severus added from his seat.

"That's not usual," Mediwitch Griffin laughed. "Pickles and ice cream?"

"Beets and caramel sauce," Hermione said, sheepishly.

"Eww," Mediwitch Griffin squeaked.

"See, I'm not the only one," Severus pointed out.

"Hop up on the table," the Mediwitch said as she looked at Hermione's file. "You certainly look healthy. Your weight is good, your iron a little low..."

"More meat?" Hermione asked as Severus helped her up on the exam table. "Because I still can't look at raw chicken without running to the loo."

"There's a potion that can raise iron levels quite quickly," Severus said as he helped her adjust herself on the table.

"I think she should start on that immediately," the mediwitch said as she approached the couple. "So, how's the little man?"

"Rolling," Hermione smiled as she placed a hand on her large round tummy.

"Good," the mediwitch said as she took out her wand. She cast over Hermione's belly and a cloud-like image of a baby appeared in the air above her.

"He's beautiful," Hermione said softly as she reached for Severus' hand.

"His heart rate is good," the mediwitch continued. "Measurements are correct for his age."

"Has her placenta moved?" Severus asked. Hermione's placenta previa had been a concern the last few months.

"It's shifted slightly but we're not completely out of the danger zone," the mediwitch said as she recorded her findings.

Severus and Hermione stared at their son as he floated in the air above her; their hands clasped.

"Could it still move?" Severus asked, concern in his voice.

"Only time will tell; we still have ten weeks," the mediwitch said as she put her wand away.

"But if it doesn't?" Severus asked as Hermione squeezed his hand.

"Then we'll have to do a c-section," the mediwitch said with a sigh. "Women have them all the time, but with any luck we'll avoid it."

"Is there anything I can do to help it move?" Hermione asked as Severus helped her sit up.

"There's nothing you can do to get it to move but," the mediwitch said as she watched Severus help his wife. "You need to start doing things that will keep you from going into labour."

"I'm sorry?" Severus asked.

"I'm putting you on bed rest," the mediwitch started. "Which includes, limited physical activity and stopping all sexual relations."

"Is there a danger she'll go into premature labour?" Severus asked, concerned.

"Not at this time," the mediwitch admitted. "But with the placenta still at the vaginal opening, we don't want it to happen either."

"So in bed all day?" Severus clarified, ready to take immediate action.

"Not all day, but most of the day," the mediwitch started. "The most important part is the rest. No lifting, no straining, no strenuous activity. Sometimes semen can induce labour so we count out sexual activity as well."

"Of course," Hermione said as she nodded in the affirmative. "Whatever it takes so we have a healthy little boy."

"Whatever it takes," Severus agreed as he paled slightly; worry apparent in his voice and demeanour. For a man who had feared fatherhood, he now feared the loss of it.

* * *

"Here's some tea, love," Severus said as he placed a steaming cup on the nightstand.

"Thanks," Hermione sighed as she lifted her head up off her pillow.

"Are you warm enough?" He asked as he looked at her snuggled and shivering under their blanket.

"I'm okay," Hermione said softly.

Severus sat on the bed next to her and leaned in to feel her forehead.

"You're not hot," he surmised.

"I can't swallow," Hermione said. "It'll go away in a day or so. It always does."

Severus' eyebrows knitted and he reached for her neck and gently touched it. He felt her glands at the side and they were slightly enlarged but not strange. Then he saw a lump in the centre of her neck. Without wanting to alarm her, he slid his fingers around to the front of her neck and felt a large lump there in the centre.

"Have you felt this, love?" He asked as he gently circled the lump with his fingers.

"What?" She asked, worried.

"Here," he said as he took her hand in his and placed it over the lump.

Her eyes went wide as she felt around the lump.

"You need to see a doctor, straight away," Severus said as he swallowed hard.

Hermione nodded and took her hand away from her neck to grab his.


	21. Chapter 21

**Author's Note: I know I shocked a lot of you with the last chapter, but there are reasons, and I'm not a fan of character death so rest at ease. I think you'll like this chapter though.**

**Also, someone pointed out that there were issues with Severus' appointment with Xavier. Xavier Young is not a psychologist, he's a wizard that practices counselling and is not subject to the same psychological parameters as human psychologists are. Also, this is a work of fiction and I'm allowed to get a little creative. **

**Thank you for all your wonderful reviews. Please let me know what you think of this chapter!**

* * *

"And when will we get the results?" Hermione asked as she sat in her doctor's office holding the hand of her husband.

"It'll take a few days," the doctor said as he closed her file.

"But you think there's something there?" Severus asked uneasily.

The doctor nodded in the affirmative. "Most cases are papillary which is easily treatable. Or it could be benign. We won't know until the blood tests come back how to proceed."

"What's the worse case scenario?" Hermione asked.

"We don't speak in those terms Mrs. Snape," the doctor said calmly. "Give it a few days. I know it's easy to say but..."

"It is bloody easy to say," Severus scoffed as he shifted in his seat.

"Severus," Hermione chastised.

"I'm sorry but I think it's bloody ridiculous when..." Severus started, his nerves shot.

"We'll see you next week then," Hermione said as she stood from her chair.

"Yes," the doctor said as he stood with her. "With the weekend..."

"Yes, and twenty-four hour clinics..." Severus began. "Is there any way we can pay for a faster result from a private clinic?"

"No, unfortunately everything is..."

"It's fine," Hermione said as she took his arm.

"Have a good weekend," the doctor said as he nodded toward the couple.

Severus walked with his wife from the office and groaned audibly.

"You can't be like that," Hermione said.

"First the bloody mediwitch and now him," Severus said, annoyed.

"It won't change what's already there, knowing tomorrow or days from now, doesn't make a difference," Hermione said as they walked along the street.

Severus sighed and said nothing.

"The kids leave tomorrow," Hermione said. "Let's not say anything, please."

He looked at her carefully and said nothing.

"Agreed?" She confirmed.

He nodded slowly and pulled her a little closer to him. The thought of losing her was too much to bear.

* * *

**15 Years Ago**

"Hermione, I can't believe you asked for a transfer!" Bernadette said loudly as she approached her desk. "I mean, did they have a fit or what?"

"It was sort of a secret," Hermione said as she looked around at the other people in her department whispering. "I guess not so much anymore."

"Sorry, I didn't realize," Bernadette said with a sheepish grin. "Magical law though? Sounds boring compared to this."

"It's safer," Hermione said honestly. "I'm all he'll have and...and I can't be in such a risky line of work."

"I forgot you were expecting!" Bernadette said with a loud laugh. "You're not even showing so it's so easy to..."

"Well, by the time the transfer happens..."

"Planning ahead, smart," Bernadette said as she nodded. "Sorry, you are right to be cautious after what happened to Kelvin last month."

Hermione nodded in agreement. What happened to Kelvin had actually been the reason she'd put in for a transfer. The man was going to be in St Mungos for weeks. Luckily, he had a wife to take care of his children; Hermione didn't have anyone.

"So what branch of magical law are you working in?" Bernadette asked. "I dated a guy in Illegal Spells a few years back."

"I'll be doing research for the Wizengamot," Hermione explained. "It was the only opening at the moment, but they have said they'd support my pursuit of a magical law degree."

"That sounds incredibly safe and unbelievably boring," Bernadette said honestly. "Couldn't you wait for another department where..."

"Why are you bloody transferring?!" Severus snapped loudly as he marched toward her desk.

Hermione and Bernadette just looked at him with their mouths open.

"Well?!" He snapped as he got to her desk and placed his hands on his hips. The anger wafting off his body was palpable.

"I...I...what business is it of yours?" Hermione stammered before getting her footing and snapping back.

He'd known for over two weeks that she was pregnant and they'd barely spoken; it had been easy because he had been away on a mission most of the time anyways. It didn't matter if he was here or away, the hard reality was that their relationship was over.

Hermione had spent days crying in the loo at work, nights crying curled up in her bed, and a couple of evenings telling Ginny and Harry about the whole mess as snot ran down her face and James wailed in their arms. She didn't give a crap about his privacy anymore; she needed her friends. She had finally sent him back his things from her apartment and was expecting hers to arrive any day by owl.

"I'd think you would have said something before I heard it from Wanda the cleaning lady?!" Severus snapped.

"Hermione is right, what do you bloody care where she works?" Bernadette joined in; defensive of her friend.

"I...well, why didn't you tell me?" He asked, uncomfortable with Bernadette's presence, his eyes drifting towards the unwanted woman.

"It was my decision to make. On my own. I didn't think I needed to consult my office mates for their opinions," Hermione said as she straightened her back and emphasized the status of their relationship.

"But you..." Severus stammered then stopped and stood a little straighter. "You are the Runes expert. Who will take your place?"

"Daniel assures me he has a candidate," Hermione said as she clenched her jaw.

"You can't just leave," Severus said as his eyebrows knitted.

"I...I have. My transfer has been approved and I'll be in Magical Law in a month," Hermione said as she steeled herself for him just walking away.

"But..." Severus started.

"Severus, you're taking this quite...badly," Bernadette noted; concern in her voice. "Are you okay?"

"No, no, I'm not," Severus said as he looked directly at Hermione his breathing deep as if trying to calm himself down .

"Do you want a glass of water? Maybe a medwitch or...?" Bernadette started; her worry about his reaction apparent.

"I love you," Severus said simply and loudly, not breaking eye contact with Hermione.

Bernadette looked between her two co workers and thought she may need to call security because Severus Snape had finally cracked.

Those were the words Hermione had been hoping to hear for years. She knew in her heart that he loved her; he just couldn't say it. It was in everything he had done to and for her up until recently. It was in the way he looked at her, held her hand, stocked his fridge with her favourite produce, told her how beautiful she was, made love to her, argued with her, and kissed her. Now, here, after they had parted, and in front of people they worked with, he had finally said it. The irony was not lost on Hermione.

"It's nice to see you've finally realized that," Hermione said with some snap to her voice before she looked at the papers on her desk and started to shuffle them. "I have work...um...there's work I need to do."

"What can I do to make this right again?" He implored as he took a step toward her.

At this point a crowd had gathered close to her desk and all eyes were on the two co-workers who no one realized had been involved in a relationship. There were whispers about whether he was the father of her baby, about how long this had been going on under their noses, about who in the office knew.

Hermione looked at him and silently cursed the tears that were forming in her eyes.

"I'm having this baby," Hermione said softly.

"I know," he said back, she could hear the wavering in his voice; he was scared. "I want to take back..."

"I don't know if you can," she said honestly as a few stray tears rolled slowly down her cheek. "You've...you really hurt me, Severus."

She dropped the papers in her hand and started to walk away when he grabbed her wrist and stopped her.

"I'd like to try and fix this," he said softly as he looked at her pained face. "I've always loved you, from the bloody start, and it scared the shit out of me."

"Severus..." she said as she nodded her head in the negative. It might be too late for them.

"Please," he implored as he stepped forward and wiped a tear from her cheek. "Hermione, please."

She looked at his pained expression and her heart broke. Despite her anger, she still loved him; this broken man before her.

"Dinner or coffee or...or anything...anything Hermione. Just one more chance," he said softly as he looked into her hurt face. "I'll never hurt you again. On that, you have my word."

In that moment Hermione didn't see the perplexed expressions of those around her or hear the whispers about their relationship. All she saw was his honest face.

"Coffee," she said softly.

The look of pure joy that passed over his features was shocking to those who hadn't ever seen him truly happy. Hermione was happy to see that look one more time.

He let go of her wrist and gestured for her to walk ahead of him. Severus Snape, in that moment, felt like he may just be the luckiest man in the world.

* * *

Severus Snape walked into his washroom and sat down on the closed toilet seat lid.

"The kids are in bed?" Hermione asked from the tub, she was leaning back with her eyes closed. The water was still relatively hot.

"Yes," Severus' voice croaked.

Hermione turned her head slightly to the right and looked at her husband. He was a million miles away.

She could say nothing to appease his distress that she already hadn't already said. She was upset as well, but he seemed more...raw. Maybe her basic optimism kept her believing in the best possible outcome. She knew where his mind went automatically.

Hermione stretched out her hand and touched his knee.

He placed his hand over hers and finally looked toward her.

"Join me," Hermione said softly.

He shook his head in the negative tiredly.

"Please," she said softly.

He looked into her eyes and gave her a soft smile. Here she was, the one who may have cancer, and he was falling apart.

He slowly stood and stripped off his clothes, leaving them in a heap on the floor before he climbed in the bathtub behind her. She waited for him to settle and then relaxed back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her torso and kissed her temple.

"Remember when you surprised me with the weekend in Paris?" Hermione asked.

"It was technically our honeymoon," Severus chuckled against her.

"Technically, yes," she giggled.

"You were sick from the portkey for hours going and coming back," Severus added.

"We spent a lot of time in the bath that weekend," Hermione said. "Didn't see much of Paris. It was the only place my stomach settled."

"I liked just looking at you," Severus said as he ran his hands down her body reverently. "I liked feeling your growing belly."

"I wasn't that big, yet," Hermione said as she turned to look at him more carefully.

"Bigger then normal," he said softly into her hair.

"I swear you touched my belly more then I did back then," Hermione smiled as she spoke.

"I still like your belly," he said softly as he poked at her belly button.

She laughed and slapped his hand away.

They sat in silence for a long time just relaxing in the water before she broke the silence.

"I'm going to be fine," she said softly.

She felt his arms tighten slightly around her.

He held her close to him for a long time even after the water cooled.


	22. Chapter 22

**Author's Note: This is a short one, but I thought it was a nice break from the medical storyline. Please let me know what you think. Reviews are always appreciated.**

* * *

"I'm going to miss you soooo much!" Hermione said as she hugged her daughter.

"Me too," Miranda sniffled against her mother's shoulder.

"You are going to be just fine," Hermione said reassuringly. "Dad and I expect an owl tonight, okay?"

"Ok mum," Miranda said as she pulled away from her mother.

"And you make sure you tell your brother if anything..."

"I will mum," Miranda smiled up at her.

"Come here, love," Severus said as he pulled his daughter against him.

"Daddy," Miranda said softly as she hugged her father.

"Theo is going to keep an eye on you," Severus began. "But if anyone bothers you..."

"I know, dad," Miranda smiled up at her father.

"Be studious," Severus advised. "You have a brain that needs some exercise."

"Okay," Miranda smiled up at him.

Severus kissed the top of her head and released her.

Hermione grabbed Severus' hand and watched as Theo guided his sister onto the train; they had already said their goodbyes to Theo.

"This is harder than I expected," Hermione said as she wiped a stray tear. "I thought Theo was a challenge but Miranda..."

"It's because she's our last," Severus said as he let go of her hand and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

* * *

**17 Years Ago**

"Do you ever think about the future?" Hermione asked as she sat down at the dining room table across from Severus.

"As in will humans destroy the planet and need to move to Mars?" Severus chuckled as he reached for the salad.

"No," Hermione chuckled as well. "I mean our future."

Severus swallowed hard.

Hermione looked up at him, concerned.

"Obviously, not," Hermione said as she looked down at her hands.

"I'm not sure what you want me to say," Severus said carefully as he placed some chicken on his plate.

"Nothing," Hermione said as she shook her head and started to fill her plate. "Just forget I said anything."

They ate in silence for a long time. The only noise the scraping of knives on their plates and the clinking of ice cubes in their glasses. Severus cleared his throat several times and Hermione suppressed a cough.

"I can't have children," Severus said suddenly.

"Can't?" Hermione asked, surprised.

"I obviously can," Severus corrected. "But my family, my bloodline is...tainted. I can't allow it to continue."

"Severus, your being a little fatalistic if you think..." Hermione started.

"I'm being serious," he said as he put down his knife and fork. "The lineage stops with me. So if you have any aspirations for children one day, I am not..."

"I don't know it that's what I want," Hermione admitted to him.

He looked at her with a furrowed brow; part of him truly didn't believe her.

"If you do want children, if that's what you desire one day, you need to tell me," Severus said as he looked at her carefully in the eyes. "I'm not saying my mind will ever change, but you need to at least tell me."

"Okay," Hermione said softly.

"I mean it Hermione," he said as he looked at her pointedly. "There will be no wedding, no children between us."

Hermione looked at him and swallowed hard.

"I know," she said softly. "I can't even get you to meet my friends, obviously you aren't interested in a commitment of any kind."

"I'm as committed to you as I can be, as is possible," Severus said truthfully. "But there are things that are...beyond what we have; marriage and children are two of them."

Hermione nodded in the affirmative.

* * *

"Hermione Snape?" A woman asked as she walked past her table.

"Yes, do I know you?" Hermione asked, as she looked toward Severus who was picking up coffees at a nearby counter.

"I'm doing an article on the next generation of Hogwarts students for..."

"We don't speak to reporters," Hermione said as she tried to get her husband's attention.

"Your youngest, Miranda was on the train this morning?" the woman continued.

"No comment," Hermione said as she stood from her seat and grabbed for her coat.

"How does your husband feel about sending his little girl out into the world?" the reporter asked.

"Excuse me," Hermione said as she tried to get past the reporter. She was feeling frazzled by her daughter's departure and, instead of a relaxing cup of coffee with her husband, it was turning into an inquisition.

"Which House do you think she'll be sorted into?" The reporter continued as she blocked Hermione's path.

Hermione reached for her wand and realized in her haste this morning, she'd forgotten to bring it with her.

"Will you and Severus appreciate some time alone with both of your children gone?" The woman said as she waggled her eyebrows at Hermione.

"What a rude..." Hermione started but then stopped when she noticed boils start to appear on the reporters face.

"Kindly free my wife," Severus said with a silky voice.

Hermione looked at her husband and smiled in relief.

"What have you done to me?!" The reporter snapped as she turned on Severus.

"Nothing that won't go away in about sixteen hours," Severus said as he none-too-gently moved the woman out of Hermione's way and reached out a hand to help his wife escape.

Hermione grasped his hand and pushed past the reporter towards her husband.

"My wife and children are not a story," Severus said through gritted teeth as he leaned into the reporter. "Do you hear me?"

The reporter nodded in the affirmative as new boils started to appear on her face and neck.

"Come on, love," Severus said as he helped Hermione on with her coat. "Let's go home."


	23. Chapter 23

**Author's Note: I needed to write this scene between Severus and Harry-quite desperately. I've been waiting to do it for a while. Hopefully it worked out well. Let me know what you think! Reviews are always appreciated.**

* * *

"Thyroid cancer?" Hermione asked, her voice quivering as she gripped Severus' hand.

Severus swallowed hard. It felt as if the world had dropped out from beneath him. Suddenly he felt sick and dizzy at once.

"It's actually not a horrible prognosis," Doctor Rogers said as he placed a pamphlet in front of the couple. "We biopsy, then, depending if it's malignant or benign we..."

"So you're not sure?" Severus clarified.

"The blood work indicates that it most likely is," Doctor Rogers sighed. "The blood work is rarely wrong."

Severus heard Hermione take a deep breath next to him.

"When can we book the biopsy?" Severus asked as he felt her fingers twist in his hand. He looked at her face and saw that she had glazed eyes.

"My secretary will call you with an appointment," Dr Rogers said as he closed her file. "Know that thyroid cancer is highly treatable, very curable, and rarely returns. Once caught, removed and treated, patients generally go on to live long, happy lives."

Hermione nodded her head slightly and Severus nodded as well. He wanted to believe what they were being told.

* * *

**15 Years Ago**

"So, this is where the bastards hang out on a Friday night," Harry Potter said as he walked up to Severus Snape who was sitting on a bar stool.

"How am I not surprised?" Severus said as he picked up his beer. "You are the prince of predictability Potter."

Harry said nothing in return.

"How'd you find out I was here?" Severus asked before he downed the rest of his beer.

"Being an Auror has it privileges," Harry said, his jaw tight.

"No, being Harry bloody Potter is a life of privilege," Severus said as he plunked his empty glass down on the counter. "Or, did you just feel like visiting Wales suddenly?"

"Hermione's been by," Harry said as he watched Severus carefully.

"And you are here to kick my ass, or at least, attempt to," Severus said not even looking at him.

"No, I'm here to...to understand or, I'm not really sure," Harry said as he pulled out the stool next to Severus and sat down heavily.

"Just because we've made amends, of sorts, it gives you no right to involve yourself in my life," Severus said as he gestured for another pint.

"I'm not involving myself in your life," Harry corrected. "But I've been involved in Hermione's life since we were children. You, apparently, come with her."

Severus looked at him and said nothing.

"You two have been together for almost four years without any of us, anyone at all, knowing," Harry said with a shake to his head. "Gin insisted there was someone, but Mione never brought anyone around so..."

"As informative as this history lesson is, allow me to shorten this conversation," Severus said as he turned to face Harry. "We were involved, we aren't anymore, she and the child are better off without me; we both know that, so don't try and say anything different."

Harry couldn't argue with him. He did think they were better off without Severus.

"Unfortunately, it's not my opinion that counts, at all, really," Harry said as he gestured for a pint as well. "How much longer is this mission?"

Severus furrowed his brow at the change in subject.

"I should be here another week or so," Severus said as new pints were placed before each of them.

"Seems like a reasonable amount of time to think about the situation, and change your mind," Harry said as he picked up his glass.

"We've what? Spoken about a dozen times since the war?" Severus questioned. "How are you, in any way, an expert on me or what I should or should not do?"

"I'm not," Harry said definitively. "But I am an expert on Hermione, or at least I thought I was until I discovered she was sleeping with you."

Severus closed his eyes. "She would be smart not to acknowledge me as the father. It would...complicate things for her."

"What do you care?" Harry asked. "You are washing your hands of them, aren't you? What does it matter if life is difficult for them?"

"It...doesn't matter," Severus agreed, quietly. "I will provide for the child, financially."

"That'll help, but she's not going to be able to avoid what the newspapers are going to do to her in the eyes of the public," Harry said as he lifted his glass to his mouth.

"It'll die down quickly if she doesn't give them any information," Severus said.

"Sounds like you've thought a lot about this," Harry said as he looked carefully at Severus.

Severus said nothing in return.

"Ginny wants her to go and live with some relatives in Canada..." Harry said.

"Canada?!" Severus snapped.

"Hermione won't do it," Harry said with a smirk.

Severus nodded his head and looked back at his pint.

"I spoke with Draco," Harry said quietly.

"Well, aren't you making the rounds?" Severus said snidely.

"We met a year ago over coffee and then again six months ago at my place," Harry continued, ignoring his comment. "He said his father told him about your past...your childhood. From the pieces I know, what my Aunt Petunia said, and what Draco told me...well, I can understand your reluctance to..."

"You know nothing Potter, so stop trying to figure me out!" Severus said with venom.

"I know you had a shitty dad, that you were neglected, abandoned, abused..."

"Let me cry in my lager so you feel that somehow this has been a pivotal moment in my life," Severus snapped at him.

"Look you bastard," Harry said as he grabbed Severus' shoulder. "I don't give a shit if you like me, but you will listen to me! Hermione is the most wonderful person in the world and she doesn't deserve this! She doesn't deserve you!"

"We agree on something then!" Severus hissed back.

Harry looked at him perplexed and his hand dropped from Severus' shoulder.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this," Severus said quietly. "It was just...it wasn't a relationship or complicated or...but then it went that way, and there was nothing that could be done."

"What?"

"I grew up not needing anything or anyone, and I can't be what she wants me to be," Severus said. "I can't keep doing this. It should have ended before a child was involved, that is my biggest regret."

"But you love her?" Harry clarified.

"I don't know if I've ever truly loved anything," Severus said under his breath. "I should have listened to my gut and stopped this...debacle from continuing."

"You don't love her?" Harry asked, his brow furrowing.

Severus turned away from him.

"She came into my life and changed...everything," Severus said. "Down the road, she'll hate that I can't give her what she gave me. Someone needs to protect her."

"You are protecting her from yourself by leaving her pregnant and alone?" Harry asked, confused.

"It's the better of the two options for her future, and for the child's," Severus said seriously as he met Harry's eyes.

"Tell me you don't love her," Harry said.

Severus swallowed and turned away from his companion.

"I can see it in your eyes, you do love her, a great deal, actually," Harry said as he leaned toward Severus.

"Love is fleeting, being tied to a soul-less bastard is forever, Potter," Severus said before he took a big drink of his lager. "Surely you, of all people, can see my point."

"All I see is a coward," Harry said as he threw some galleons on the bar and stood from his stool. "And I never thought I'd say that to you, Severus. But, if you leave things the way they are...if you abandon the woman you love, the woman who is carrying your child, because you are too scared to actually try and make it work...then you aren't the man I thought you were."

"It's easy to say Potter, but..." Severus started.

"When has anything in your life been easy?" Harry asked him honestly. "And now you've suddenly decided it should be? You don't get to make that choice. Give me a fucking break, Severus, you know better than that."

* * *

"So, I'm going for a biopsy," Hermione said as she played with the label on her tea bag.

"Shit, Mione," Ron huffed across from her.

"I know, shit," Hermione said softly.

"Have you visited a mediwitch?" Ron asked.

"Yes," Hermione said. "They really haven't made any advancements in the field of cancer more than anyone else. My best bet is with doctors."

"But the doctor said it's treatable and..."

"Yes, of course I'll be fine," Hermione said nervously as she took her hand away from her tea cup. "Tell me about Marcella. I'm sorry I've meant to visit more this summer and..."

"No worries, love," Ron said as he reached across the table and grabbed her hand in his. "She's a baby, she's constantly attached to the boob, shitting all over the place and..."

"Ron!" Hermione scolded him. "She's gorgeous and you know it!"

"Well, after four boys she is a sight for sore eyes in all the pink frilly outfits Tessa places her in," Ron conceded.

"Are the boys helping more now? A month ago Tessa was saying she was going to kill them if they didn't start to help," Hermione said with a smirk.

"Freddy is pretty good, but the twins are useless and Max is more work then the baby," Ron said with a smile. "This is what happens when you have five kids under ten."

"Are you helping?" Hermione asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You know I do," Ron said astounded she would ask. "But someone has to work to support the lot of them."

"So, not much?" Hermione joked.

Ron laughed uncomfortably.

"Ron..." She chided.

"It's fecking loud and...and crazy Mione," Ron admitted. "Honestly, I think you and Severus were wise to have just two."

"Yes, but now they're off at Hogwarts," Hermione said nostalgically.

"You could still have..."

"No, that ship has sailed," Hermione chuckled. "I'll just come over and hold Marcella when I need some baby time."

"Anytime, and you know that," Ron smiled at her.

Hermione smiled back at him. It was nice to meet him away from the chaos that was his family sometimes; times like this when she needed to tell him something important.

"You're going to be fine Mione," Ron said reassuringly as he tightened his grip on her hand. "I won't settle for anything less."


	24. Chapter 24

**Author's Note: This one's a little fluffy but we're getting into serious territory soon and I thought a reprieve was nice. Please let me know what you think! **

* * *

"I wish I didn't have to leave tomorrow," Severus said as he walked with his wife up a side street.

"The lead will be gone if you wait any longer," Hermione said as she slung her arm through his and snuggled in a little closer.

"At least I'm here for your birthday," he said softly.

"And who knows? Maybe this will finally put the Slughorn case to rest," Hermione said optimistically.

"Maybe," Severus sighed. "After two decades though, it's hard to get your hopes up."

"I admire you for not giving up," Hermione said honestly.

"I feel responsible..." Severus sighed.

"Severus..." Hermione said as she patted his hand.

"Enough morose conversation," he said with a smirk. "You know that 42 is the answer to..."

"All the questions of the universe," Hermione interrupted. "I have read the book."

He merely smiled at her and kissed the side of her face.

They approached the door and walked inside. He gave their name to the maitre d and they were lead to a room at the back.

"They have another room? It doesn't seem that busy," Hermione said softly as they followed.

"It's their party room," Severus said plainly as he led her through the restaurant.

"Party? Severus?" Hermione asked, shocked as she turned to look at him.

"Ginny insisted, so please act surprised," Severus whispered into her ear before they got to the door.

"I am surprised," she whispered back.

"Good, keep that look," he said as he kissed the side of her face.

"Surprise!" Everyone yelled as the door opened.

* * *

**17 Years Ago**

"Ahhhh!" Hermione snapped as she threw her bag across her hotel room.

"Now, that's different," Severus said from the doorway to the washroom.

"Oh gods! You scared the crap out of me!" Hermione said as she jumped at the sight of him.

"So I see," Severus said as he turned and dropped the hand towel on the counter and then walked toward her.

"What are you doing here?" Hermione asked, still not moving from her position.

"I thought I'd surprise you, but you don't seem in the best of moods," Severus said as he walked up to her and kissed her forehead.

"I'm not!" Hermione scoffed as she peeled off her jacket and threw it on the bed.

"Who or what has got you in this charming mood?" Severus asked, sarcastically.

"Bloody Daniel insisted I work with Maureen Peacock on this and all she's bloody been doing is fucking her boyfriend and hanging out with his rich friends," Hermione said, annoyed.

"He's here?" Severus asked, surprised.

"Works at a fancy restaurant here in the Channels as a chef and she's been hob nobbing it this entire case," Hermione said. "She rolls in about ten am, disappears for a couple of hours at lunch, and checks out by four o'clock and I don't see or hear from her until the next day."

"I noticed it was just your things in the suite," Severus said as he guided her to sit on the bed in her room. "I was going to book a separate room but thought I'd wait and see if I needed to first."

"You don't," Hermione huffed. "I don't even think she knows where I'm bloody staying."

"That saves me some money then," Severus joked.

Hermione just looked at him.

"Is she doing her part of the work?" He asked, seriously.

"No," Hermione said. "We're so far behind, and she doesn't seem to give a rat's ass about it."

"Have you contacted Daniel?" Severus asked.

"No, I...ever since Iceland..."

Severus sighed. Hermione had been written up for an altercation with local wizards in Iceland. It had almost become an international incident and her boss, Daniel Atwater, had managed to smooth everything over for her. She owed him big time and didn't want to bother him with Maureen issues.

"What do you need to do?" Severus sighed.

"I need to do a crap load of research but I also need to go back to the site tonight and..."

Severus got up from his spot and picked up the phone.

"What are you doing?" Hermione asked.

"Cancelling our reservation at Germaine's," Severus said. "I'll do the research and you visit the site."

"And Maureen?" Hermione asked.

"Tomorrow when she shows up, you hand her the report, tell her you are leaving, and that if she doesn't fill in the gaps and get it to Daniel by end of day, you'll tell him how she really spent her time on this case," Severus said.

Hermione smiled up at him.

"Thank you," she sighed as relief washed over her features. "Severus, there's no way I could have done this without your..."

"Save it for when we get back," Severus said with a smirk. "You are cooking my favourite meal for me."

"You're evil," Hermione said, astounded.

"Naked," he smirked at her.

"Making haggis, naked? Really Severus?" Hermione asked with a raised eyebrow.

"It's always been a fantasy of mine..." he chuckled.

"You are one sick bastard," Hermione laughed at him.

"Aren't you glad I surprised you?" He said with a smirk.

"This is why I hate surprises," Hermione joked.

* * *

"Thank you so much for this Gin," Hermione smiled at her friend as they clinked glasses together.

"Severus wasn't sure you'd like it," Ginny admitted, "but he took away my chance when you were forty by sweeping you off to South Africa."

"It was a fantastic trip," Hermione said wistfully.

"Yes, I know it was, but I wanted to throw a bloody party for you, and now I finally have," Ginny said with a huge smile. "Happy birthday Mione!"

"Thanks Gin," Hermione smiled back at her friend.

"If you need help with the doctor's visits..." Ginny said softly.

"Thanks, I might just take you up on that," Hermione smiled. "Severus hates hospitals."

"Me and Harry want to help," Ginny said kindly. "Luckily the children are at school, it'll make things...easier. What's happening with Severus' father?"

"He's still at the care facility, we haven't heard anything otherwise," Hermione said.

"Is that a good sign?" Ginny asked.

"I guess," Hermione shrugged.

"What are you two in deep discussion about?" Ron asked as he wrapped an arm around each woman.

"Girl stuff," Ginny said. "You enjoying your night without the kids?"

"Tessa and I, we haven't been out proper in years I think," Ron said as he eyed his wife laughing in the corner. "It's good for her."

"Ron, you need to ask mum or hire a bloody sitter," Ginny said as she looked at her brother. "Your neighbours probably think Tessa is some sort of recluse."

Ron shrugged and jabbed her on the shoulder.

"Tessa picked your gift," Ron said to Hermione. "I wanted to get you a bat, but she thought it would be a lot of work. So, you got a bloody gift card for a manicure."

"I'll love that Ron," Hermione smiled. "You shouldn't have got me anything but Tessa was right about the bat."

Ron smiled back at her. "See? I was right to listen to my wife."

"Always," Hermione and Ginny said in unison.

"Always what?" Severus asked as he joined them.

"Listen to your wife," Ginny said with a smile.

"Of course," Severus agreed.

"Right answer, love," Hermione said as she kissed his cheek.

Severus smiled at her. "The kitchen has the cake ready."

"A cake?!" Hermione asked.

"It's not a birthday party unless there's a cake," Ginny said as she slid off her stool. "I'll get them to bring it out."

Ron followed his sister leaving Hermione and Severus alone.

"A cake?" Hermione whispered to him.

He merely shrugged.

"Severus, how long have you known about this?" Hermione asked.

"A couple of weeks, why?" Severus asked.

"Just wondering," Hermione said as she shook her head.

"Are you ready?" He asked as he eyed Ginny approaching with a huge cake as the crowd parted around her.

"I have to be, don't I?" Hermione said with a fake smile.

Severus kissed the top of her head and turned her toward the crowd.

"For she's a jolly good fellow," broke out in the crowd around her and Hermione smiled at her friends and family.


	25. Chapter 25

**Author's Note: I know I took a bit of a hiatus from this one for a couple of weeks, but I needed the time for my other story _Spies Like Us_. I hope you understand. **

**In this chapter, we get to see what several of you have requested, the birth of their first child. I hope you like it, as the scene's bookends deal with Hermione's current medical issues and some controversial choices she's made.**

**Please let me know what you think! **

**Also, one of my other stories _Do You Have the Time?_ hasn't got much readership or reviews. If you like my writing, please check it out as it is an angst-filled story I adored writing and I'd like to see what more people think of it.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"Mione, I think Severus is going to be upset," Ginny said as they sat in chairs outside the operating theatre.

"He just got there two days ago and I'm not calling him back," Hermione said softly. "He has been working this case for over twenty years and..."

"And nothing is as important to him as you," Ginny interrupted as she took her friend's hand.

Hermione sighed next to her.

"They had a cancellation," Hermione said softly. "It's my understanding that time is of the essence with things like this."

"And that has nothing to do with him not being here," Ginny offered.

"Gin, I..." Hermione started.

"Mrs. Snape?" A nurse called from across the room.

"Here," Hermione said as she stood from her seat and gathered her things.

The nurse approached Hermione and smiled at her. "You'd be best to leave your personal items with your friend."

"Oh, okay," Hermione said as she put everything down on the chair next to Ginny and gave her a nervous smile.

Ginny reached out and grabbed her friend's hand.

"How long should she be?" Ginny asked the nurse.

"The biopsy is rather quick, but if they determine it's cancerous, we'll remove it immediately," the nurse said.

"So an operation?" Ginny asked.

"Possibly," the nurse said as she motioned for Hermione to come with her. "If that is the case, it'll be a few hours before you can see her and longer before she can be released."

Ginny nodded and gave Hermione's hand a squeeze.

"Should I call...?" Ginny asked her friend.

"It'll be fine," Hermione said with a smile. "If there's an...issue, call him, otherwise just let him be."

Ginny looked at her friend warily but nodded in agreement.

"I'll be right here the entire time," Ginny said as they released hands.

"Thanks Gin," Hermione said with a weak smile before she followed the nurse from the waiting room.

* * *

**14 Years Ago**

"Ahhhh!" Hermione screamed as another contraction tightened across her body.

"Breathe," Severus said as he felt her hand grip painfully on his forearm.

"I...I..." Hermione said as her head tossed from side to side.

"Focus," Severus whispered into her ear as she strained.

The contraction subsided and he felt Hermione's body release the tension.

"Hermione, you can't clamp like that, it's..." the mediwitch started.

"It hurts," Hermione said as tears rolled down her cheeks and she attempted to control her emotions. "I can't help it."

"Yes, you can," the mediwitch said sternly. "You are preventing the magic from taking hold and allowing the child to be born."

"Look, if my wife..." Severus started.

"Mr and Mrs Snape," the mediwitch said loudly. "I have been delivering babies since before either of you were born...trust that I know what I'm saying."

Severus and Hermione were taken slightly aback by her tone.

"If you don't relax your body we're going to have to do a c-section," the mediwitch said as she stood from her spot. "It'll be another minute before the next contraction so you need to figure out how to relax or we're going to go nowhere with this baby."

"Severus," Hermione cried. She hated that her emotions were everywhere, that she was a blubbering mess.

"Love," he said as he leaned in over her face and blocked out everything else. "Think of the things you do when you need to conjure a patronus. Think of those things and try to picture yourself floating in that pool we like to go to."

"Pool?" Hermione asked.

"The watering hole near the Lake District," Severus reminded her.

A smile escaped her lips and he smiled back. It was their own private to get away from everything that made their lives complicated.

Then her smile twisted into a frown and she felt a contraction start to peel it's way across her body.

He watched her gasp for breath and leaned over her face, blocking out everything else.

"Your patronus thoughts...put them in your mind," he said softly. He felt her grip relax slightly on his arm. "Now you're floating in the cool water, you can feel the water lick about your skin..."

"Good work, Hermione," the mediwitch said from between her legs.

He felt her grip relax again.

"I am running a hand slowly up and down your spine, calming you," he said softly.

Her grip loosened completely.

"Let the magic do it's work," the mediwitch said soothingly.

"Gentle warm rain has started to slowly fall down on you," Severus continued to whisper. "You can feel the droplets bounce across your bare skin and roll down your sides into the water."

Hermione let out a strong breath and her face relaxed.

"I'm kissing your forehead and running my hands through your hair as it floats in the water around us," Severus said softly as he kissed his wife's forehead.

Hermione let out another breath and sighed in contentment.

Severus felt the magic surge in the room and looked towards his wife's open legs.

A bright light appeared, then suddenly a baby slithered into the waiting mediwitch's hands.

"Ahhhh," Hermione sighed as she opened her eyes to see her smiling husband looking at the end of the table.

"He's perfect," the mediwitch said as she held up their son.

Hermione watched Severus chuckle and wipe a stray tear from the corner of his eye as he looked at the squirming infant. Her eyes then fell on her son; the red, mucus covered, infant who let out his first gargled scream at the end of the table.

"He's gorgeous," Hermione said softly.

Severus turned and looked at her appraisingly with a silly grin plastered across his face.

"I love you," he said softly before he pressed a soft kiss on her lips.

Hermione smiled up at him. "And I, you."

"Here, mum," the mediwitch said as she handed the infant to Hermione. "You did all the work, so you get to hold him first."

Hermione chuckled as the naked baby was placed against her chest. A nurse quickly covered his bare back with a blanket and tucked it around him.

"Hello, love," Hermione said as she smiled down at her son. Tears fell down her cheeks like waterfalls and Severus took out a handkerchief to try and mop them up for her.

"He's...he's..." Severus said, overcome with emotion.

"Ours," Hermione said softly as she looked up at her husband who was trying to contain his emotions.

"Ours," Severus said softly as he leaned down and kissed his son on the top of his head.

"Do we have a name?" The nurse asked the couple as she walked up next to Hermione.

"Theodore," Severus said as he palmed the top of his son's head. "Theodore Snape."

"Beautiful," the nurse said with a smile. "I do have to hand him to dad though, as the mediwitch has to cast a few spells and you can't hold him during them in case you flinch."

"Oh, okay," Hermione said as she kissed her son and watched as he was lifted from her person.

They both watched as the nurse placed Theo on a table and swaddled him before handing him to Severus.

Severus gently took his son and looked at Hermione with awe in his eyes.

"It suits you," Hermione said softly.

Severus looked down at his son and was suddenly filled with a sense of panic. His son was absolutely perfect, and having him as a dad was going to screw that up.

* * *

"How are you doing kiddo?" Ginny asked her friend when she saw her eyes flicker open.

"Thirsty," Hermione whispered.

"Uh, it's IV for now I think," Ginny said. "I could call..."

Hermione just shook her head in the negative.

"Cancer?" Hermione asked, her voice hoarse.

Ginny nodded in the affirmative and tried to quickly wipe away a tear before Hermione saw it. "But they...they say they got it all."

Hermione closed her eyes and took a breath.

"They performed a..." Ginny said as she referred to a piece of paper, "...supraglottic laryngectomy which means your voice will be fine and back to normal soon."

Hermione nodded in the affirmative.

"Harry's outside but they'll only let one of us in recovery," Ginny explained.

Hermione gave her a weak smile.

"He...he called Severus," Ginny said.

Hermione looked at her and groaned.

"He's on his way here," Ginny said softly. "I know you didn't...but well, we talked about it, and if it was us..."

Hermione groaned again and closed her eyes.

"International portkeys are turning out to be quite the issue, with a World Quidditch Cup in Australia and all,..." Ginny explained. "You might be home before he gets here."

Hermione allowed a single tear to fall from her eye onto the mattress beneath her.

"Oh Mione," Ginny said as she kissed her friend's forehead. "They say just a little radiation therapy for surrounding tissue and maybe some speech therapy if you...if you are having some trouble."

Hermione started to cry then. Her throat burned with every choked sob but she couldn't hold back the pain she was in. Finally, she released everything she'd been bottling up.

"Oh, love..." Ginny said as she gently pulled her friend into her arms, trying to avoid the wires and tubes. "You're going to be fine, you will, I promise."

Ginny started to cry as she held her sobbing friend and made promises that she knew she had no control over.


	26. Chapter 26

**Author's Note: I was on a bit of a roll so I have another one ready for you to read. Please let me know what you think!**

* * *

"Sev..." Hermione started when she saw him walk into their bedroom.

"Shhh," he said before he sat down on their bed next to her. "You're supposed to rest your voice."

A single tear fell from her eye and dug a path down her cheek.

"Seeing as this is a one-way conversation, I'll assume you wish to apologize for being...well, you, and I will accept that apology with a wave of my hand indicating that nothing is the matter," Severus said with a smile on his face as he dropped his waving hand over hers.

She smiled up at his face and another tear escaped.

"I can handle this Hermione," he said softly as he ran his thumb across her knuckles. "What I can't handle is you keeping this from me."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I love you my darling, and absolutely nothing is more important than you this instant," Severus said softly. "Trust me."

Hermione struggled to sit up and pulled him against her fiercely.

"Love you, so...so much," she said with a strangled voice as she griped his body against hers.

"Shhh," he smiled into her hair. "Don't waste the few words you can say on what I already know."

She pulled him a little closer to her and started to cry against his chest.

"Love, your throat," he said as he rubbed her back soothingly. "You need to calm down and not strain it further. I'm here and you are going to be fine. I've spoken with your surgeon. I'll make some potions to speed up your recovery and..."

Just then, the door to their bedroom opened and a frantic looking Ginny Potter was standing in it.

"Severus..." Ginny called to him.

"What is it?" Severus asked, looking at her face in alarm.

"Uh..." Ginny stammered.

"Ginny just tell us," Severus implored her.

"The Press has found out," Ginny said as she pointed to the front window of their bedroom. Severus got up from the bed and walked toward the window and looked down at the crowd of reporters, photographers and assorted others gathering outside their home.

"Bloody hell," he whispered under his breath.

Just then he felt Hermione walk up behind him and wrapping her arms about her waist she placed her cheek on his shoulder blade. He needed to protect her from this circus yet again.

* * *

**15 Years Ago**

"Is it true you are carrying Severus Snape's love child?" A male reporter asked as he pounced in front of her.

"Please clear the way," Hermione said as she tried to walk around him and he stepped in front of her.

"Is it true that he was having sex with you in his Potions classroom when you were his student?" The reporter continued as he blocked her path with each move she tried to be rid of him.

"It is illegal to detain..." Hermione began as she reached for her wand.

"Not a good idea on muggle streets Miss Granger," the reporter said with a smirk.

Hermione's eyes flashed about to the people walking around them.

"You should see the group by your flat," the reporter said with a smirk. "You might as well answer my questions and then I can help you get past them."

"I'm not answering your vile questions," Hermione sneered at him.

"Get that look from your boyfriend? Oh, wait, he wasn't...isn't...does he know about the lad you dated a few years back when you were supposedly in a relationship with him? He might find that quite interesting..."

Hermione's eyes widened. There was no level low enough for this bastard.

"In fact, are you sure it's his baby?" The reporter asked as his eyes lit up. "Perhaps the Professor should inquire about a paternity..."

His words were cut off as Hermione decked him and sent him to the ground.

"You'll pay for that!" The male reporter yelled up at her as he held his broken nose.

Hermione scurried around him and ducked into an alleyway where she quickly apparated to another alley by Severus' house.

Coming out from the alley she saw an entourage of reporters scurrying in front of his home as well. Before she could turn and leave she was spotted and the reporters started to run after her. Hermione walked quickly down the street but the reporters seemed to multiply and before she knew it she was surrounded.

"Why did you keep your relationship a secret?"

"Were you embarrassed?"

"Is the Professor good in bed?"

"Were you together when he was reprimanded at work for sleeping with an Eastern European agent?"

"Are the two of you members of a wizarding bondage club known as the Twisted Wand?"

"We have reports that this is not your first child together..."

"Is it true you two were secretly married?"

"Do you dress up in school uniforms to make things interesting?"

"Are with him for the money?"

"Is it true you were also lovers with Harry Potter and the Professor slept with Ginny Potter before they were married?"

"Is it true that you were on a special fertility potion the professor created so your child would have strong magical abilities?"

Hermione then saw a familiar figure pushing his way through the crowd with no regard for those he was throwing against cars, trees and the ground. Severus reached out and, securely taking her hand, pulled her toward him and shielded her with his body all the way into his house.

"Are you alright?" He asked as they got inside and he slammed the door.

Hermione shook her head in the affirmative as he ran his hands up and down her arms inspecting her for signs of harm.

"When I saw them all run away from the door, I knew there must have been a good reason," Severus said as he tipped her chin up to look at him.

"I punched a reporter," Hermione admitted softly. "Near my apartment."

"Punched?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Broke his nose, I think," Hermione said finally meeting his eyes.

"Serves him bloody right," Severus said as he pulled her into his arms.

"No, I think he's going to file a suit," Hermione said. "My job at the wizengamot might be jeopardized."

"I'll hire a lawyer, we'll get this sorted," Severus said as he ran his hands soothingly up and down her back.

"The questions they asked..." Hermione started.

"I'm sure they were as colourful as the ones they directed at me...possibly more so because they were hoping to take advantage of your emotions," Severus said softly.

Hermione merely nodded into his chest.

"It's going to be alright, Hermione," he said softly as he held her close. "I'll make sure of it."

* * *

"My wife, Hermione Snape has been diagnosed with thyroid cancer," Severus Snape said into the single microphone floating before his face. "She has had the mass removed and will be going through treatment over the coming weeks. My family asks for your understanding at this time. We would like privacy as my wife deals with her recovery. Thank you."

Severus Snape walked into his house and was patted on the back by Ginny Potter. Years of dealing with the press had taught him a thing or two. What he wasn't prepared for was the his two children dusting off their robes as they stepped out of the fireplace. He had contacted the Headmaster asking for permission for them to leave, but nothing prepared him for the conversation they needed to have.

"What's going on dad? The Headmaster said we were needed at home immediately," Theo said as he looked at his father quizzically.

"Yeah dad, I have a Herbology test in an hour," Miranda said as she dropped her bag on the floor.

"Theo, Miranda, come up and see your mother," Severus said as he placed an arm around each of their shoulders and guided them towards the stairs.


	27. Chapter 27

**Author's Note: Sorry for the wait but I've been very focused on finishing _Spies Like Us_, another one of my stories. These scenes actually woke me from my sleep and I immediately started writing them as I remembered them. Weird how these things happen. I hope you like this chapter. Please let me know what you think. Reviews are always appreciated!**

* * *

"Oh gods!" Hermione croaked as she leaned over the bin and vomited more bile into it.

Severus patiently waited for her to finish and, when it looked like she was done, wiped her brow with a cool cloth.

"Is that all of it?" Severus asked as he soothingly rubbed her back.

Hermione nodded in the affirmative and he sent the bin away to be cleaned.

She collapsed on the bed and he looked down at her ashen face. It was two weeks into her chemotherapy and she hadn't been responding well to the treatment. She was exhausted, couldn't keep food down, and had waves of dizziness. The chemo was doing exactly what it should-wipe out any lingering cancer cells-but it was also creating havoc in her system.

"How about some of that vitamin drink?" He asked as he wiped her brow again.

"Chalky," she complained as she nestled into her pillow.

"That potion I..." he started.

She shook her head in the negative and reached for his hand.

"What, love?" He asked as he watched her pull it toward her face.

"Teeth?" She asked.

He smiled at her and sent a wandless spell to her mouth to cleanse her teeth. It was dangerous for her to use magic while in treatment so she relied on him for almost everything.

"Thanks," she smiled as she tucked his hand against her chest and snuggled in.

"I will need that back, you know?" He smirked at her.

She nodded her head in the negative and said nothing.

"I can't nap with you everyday," he said softly as he climbed over her body and nestled himself behind her.

"Why not?" She yawned.

"There are things to do around the house, a broth..." he started.

"We're fine," she whispered as she wedged herself into his form and sighed.

"Yes, we are, I suppose," he sighed as he felt her body relax into his.

"Alarm?" She asked, her voice strained with fatigue.

"I'll set it so we don't miss the children's call," Severus said softly as he stroked her hair. "Just go to sleep."

Severus lay next to his wife for a long time, stroking her hair long after she fell asleep.

* * *

**46 Years Ago**

Severus was home for Christmas break, a rarity these last few years at Hogwarts. The only reason for this family vacation was his mother's illness and his need to make sure that she was properly cared for, at least for the few weeks he was off.

She had contracted Hepatitis B from her loving husband. Tobias, somehow, was just a carrier of the STD and had not actually had to suffer through the illness himself. Severus had openly laughed at the luck his asshole father always seemed to have. His mother had been hospitalized for several weeks but the public healthcare system had deemed her fit to be cared for at home and Severus had returned to do just that.

Truth be told, he'd seen very little of his father and that suited him just fine. His mother's symptoms had been manageable and besides a mild recurring fever, lack of appetite, and her jaundiced skin, she had been doing well compared to the onset of her illness.

When he first apparated home after a worrisome letter from her, he had found her feverish, sallow-skinned and laying in her own vomit and diarrhoea on the washroom floor. He had cleaned her up and taken her immediately to the public hospital where they started treatment. St Mungos wasn't an option, because any wizarding care would have only been met with anger by his father. Severus had visited her regularly in the hospital and noted her slow progress towards health. He'd even taken it upon himself, with the help of Professor Slughorn, to brew her some potions that would ease her suffering.

But, when the hospital indicated she was to be sent home to the care of her family, he knew he was the only one who would actually care for her. The Headmaster had agreed to an extended holiday break and that was how he found himself laying in his old bed, in his old room, over the holiday break.

He was startled awake one night by a 'bang'. It sounded as if a sack of potatoes had hit the front door of their home. Drawing his wand he slowly approached the door and, opening it, he came across the image of his father with a bloody nose and vomit down the front of him laying on their front stoop.

"Sev...Sev...Severus," his father hiccoughed as he looked up at his son.

"Tobias," Severus said with a sneer as he put away his wand.

"Help me up, god damn it!" Tobias snapped, his tone lethal.

For a moment, Severus considered just shutting the door on his father and leaving him in the cold street, but he knew that it would only enrage the drunkard and possibly wake his mother from the sleep she so desperately needed. So, he envisio'd the blood and vomit so it wouldn't get on him, and leaned down to help his father lumber into a standing position. Tobias, once standing, knocked into the house before him and staggered toward the liquor cabinet.

"Have a drink with your old man!" Tobias said as he pulled out a half filled bottle and wandered around looking for glassware.

"I think you've had enough already," Severus noted as he shut the door behind him.

"Fuck you!" Tobias slurred at his son as he haphazardly poured the amber liquid into a glass and onto the table.

"Please just allow mum some sleep," Severus asked, his voice strained with fatigue.

"It's all about her, is it? What about me? You never gave a shit about me! You'd never come back to take care of your old man!" Tobias slurred as he fell into a nearby chair.

Severus chose not to answer, they both knew he was right.

"Why don't you sleep it off in my room and I'll stay out here?" Severus asked, wanting to keep his father away from his sick mother.

"Last time I tried to fuck her she puked all over the floor," Tobias said as he looked at the bottle he held in his hand. "Is she going to do that again tonight?"

"You are not going near her in her condition," Severus said as he moved in front of the door to his mother's room.

"A man has rights," Tobias said, more to himself than Severus.

"And she does too, you asshole!" Severus yelled at his father, uncaring at that moment if it woke her or not. "You are not bloody laying a hand on her!"

"And you're going to stop me?" Tobias asked as he hauled himself to standing and loomed over Severus who was a third of his body weight.

"I am, I will, tonight I will," Severus said determinedly as his fist tightened around his wand. Underage magic rules be damned, he was going to protect his mother, even if it was just this one time.

Then Tobias did something completely unexpected. He laughed and slapped Severus on the back before he walked into his son's room and collapsed on his bed.

Severus stood still for a long time, unsure of what had just happened. Was it the alcohol? Was it the fact that he had stood up to him? Was it...? He had no idea why his father had reacted that way but, in that moment, he was grateful for whatever reason it was.

That night, still unsure of his father's motives or abilities, Severus pulled a chair in front of his mother's door and sat there, on guard, all night.

* * *

"You asshole, I don't have time for this," Severus said to his father as he walked into his room at the care facility.

"Loving son as always," Tobias said dismissively.

"What do you want?" Severus asked, annoyed he had been called down by the care facility on urgent business only to be directed to his father's room.

"Apparently I'm not of sound mind to make my own decisions," his father coughed and wheezed.

"What fucking decision?" Severus asked impatiently. He'd had to make arrangements for Harry to take Hermione to her chemotherapy session and was anxious to get back to her.

"I stopped eating and they shoved this in my bloody nose," Tobias said as he pointed to a feeding tube attached to his face. "I hate the fucking thing."

"I don't understand; what do you want?" Severus asked, impatiently.

"Here," Tobias said as he pushed papers across his lap toward Severus.

Severus stepped forward and, seeing his father for the first time in weeks noted the changes in his appearance. He was thinner, frailer, more grey and tired looking, his skin was more jaundiced. He looked down at the papers and then, seeing the title of the form, looked up at his father, surprised.

"Just sign the bloody thing so we can be done with one another," Tobias said as he turned his head and looked out the window.

"I don't under..." Severus started.

"I don't give a fuck if you do, or not," Tobias said as his beady eyes found his son. In that moment they looked just like the eyes that used to intimidate the crap out of him as a child. "Just sign the fucking form."

Severus looked between his father and the form and reached for the pen lying next to his father's leg. Just then, his father's hand reached out and grabbed his, lightening quick, despite his age and condition.

"Know that this is my decision, you have no power over me you little cunt," Tobias sneered at his son.

Severus pulled his hand away and looked at his angry, pathetic father and knew there was nothing they had in common, now or ever, besides their name. In that moment, that thought brought him more comfort than his father had provided his entire life.

"Happy to oblige," Severus said as he quickly signed the Do Not Feed form and dropped it on his father's lap.

"I'll be glad to be done of you," Tobias said as Severus started to leave.

Severus turned and looked at his father one last time.

"On that, we can finally agree," Severus said. "Goodbye, Tobias."


End file.
